Oh—You’re the Man Who Can’t Spell

Dorothy Parker? Tallulah Bankhead? Edith Gwynn? Roy Blount Jr.? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The 1948 war novel “The Naked and the Dead” by Norman Mailer employed the euphemism “fug” (“fugged”, “fugging”) instead of the four-letter word for intercourse. According to a popular literary legend, a witty woman who was introduced to Mailer shortly after the …

There Is Less in This Than Meets the Eye

Tallulah Bankhead? Dorothy Parker? Robert Benchley? James Boswell? Richard Burke? William Hazlitt? Dear Quote investigator: The actress Tallulah Bankhead was watching an ostentatious play, and she whispered to her companion a hilarious line based on an inverted cliché: There is less in this than meets the eye. This quip has also been attributed to two …

Whatever You Have Read That I Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except . . .

Tallulah Bankhead? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The movie star Tallulah Bankhead apparently grew tired of seeing misquotations, and she proclaimed that any quotation ascribed to her was inaccurate: …except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it. I thought you might enjoy this topic. What do you think? Quote Investigator: In July …

There Have Only Been Two Geniuses in the World — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare

Tallulah Bankhead? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous actress Tallulah Bankhead was an ardent baseball fan, and she was particularly impressed by the outstanding skills of the great athlete Willie Mays. Apparently, she stated that there have only been two authentic geniuses in history: Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare I am not sure if this …

They’ve Absolutely Ruined Your Perfectly Dreadful Play

Tallulah Bankhead? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The funniest one-line review of a movie I have ever encountered is the following: Darling, they’ve absolutely ruined your perfectly dreadful play. According to a show-business legend, the movie star Tallulah Bankhead delivered this mortifying judgement to the famous playwright Tennessee Williams when she saw the film version of …

Cocaine Isn’t Habit-Forming. I Should Know. I’ve Been Using It for Years

Tallulah Bankhead? Lillian Hellman? Dashiell Hammett? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The most obtuse quotation I know of was uttered by the actress Tallulah Bankhead whose erratic behavior caused Dashiell Hammett, the well-known author of popular detective novels, to complain about her drug use. Bankhead reportedly defended herself with the following parodic remark: I tell you …

Good Girls Keep Diaries; Bad Girls Don’t Have the Time

Tallulah Bankhead? Herb Stein? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: You have previously examined a quotation attributed to the movie star Tallulah Bankhead. Perhaps you would be willing to look at another quip. Here are two versions: 1) Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time. 2) It’s the good girls who keep diaries; the …

I’m as Pure as the Driven Slush

Tallulah Bankhead? Joan Collins? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Two vibrant actresses have been connected to a satirical statement about purity: Tallulah Bankhead and Joan Collins. I think that the statement was made as a humorous self-description. But it may have been made as a criticism. Here are two versions: I’m as pure as the driven …