Dorothy Parker? Douglass Malluch? Douglas Malloch? Henry James? Credit Man for a New York Hat House? Anonymous?
Dear Quote Investigator: During a recent discussion with friends we tried to construct a list of great jokes that will be obsolete within a few decades. Here is one that is credited to the famous wit Dorothy Parker who worked as a freelance writer and received payments via the mail:
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed’.
With the growth of electronic payments and the reduction in mail delivery this quip may become anachronistic. I was unable to find a good citation. Could you tell me when Parker wrote this?
Quote Investigator: In 1932 an Associated Press article reported on a list of words compiled by Wilfred J. Funk, the president of the dictionary company Funk & Wagnalls. The list presented Funk’s conception of the “10 most beautiful words in the English language”: dawn, hush, lullaby, murmuring, tranquil, mist, luminous, chimes, golden, and melody. Many commentators criticized the collection and when the reporter queried Parker she suggested an alternative:
Dorothy Parker, poet, said she considered cellar-door the most beautiful word but that those she liked to see best were cheque and enclosed.
Note that Parker did not actually claim that cheque and enclosed were beautiful words. She simply indicated that she liked to see them. Nevertheless, by 1958 Parker’s name was attached to the common modern version of the quip. Here is an example in the “Reader’s Digest Treasury of Wit and Humor”:
DOROTHY PARKER, when asked for the two most beautiful words in the English language: “Check enclosed.”
—Bernardine Kielty in Book-of-the-Month Club News
Many years before Parker’s 1932 remark several versions of the basic joke were already in circulation. In December 1903 the monthly trade publication The American Hatter published an instance. The adjective “sweetest” was used instead of “most beautiful” and the key phrase was four words instead of two:
A good story is being told of a prominent credit man for a New York hat house which runs thus: A Philadelphia magazine having offered a prize for the best answer to the question “Which are the four sweetest words in the English language?” our friend the credit man secured the prize by sending in a slip on which he wrote these words: “Enclosed please find check.”
This same witticism about the “four sweetest words” was further disseminated in the Washington Post on December 10, 1903 and in other newspapers. Special thanks to Andrew Steinberg who identified and located this early version of the joke.
In March 1906 the Boston Globe of Massachusetts printed a version which used three words for the key phrase:
The sweetest words of typewriter or pen: “Inclosed find check.”
In the same month of 1906 the quip was presented in a short poem format in a Maryland paper which acknowledged a Wisconsin paper:
I love to get letters,
But the sweetest, by heck,
Are the ones that begin with:
“Inclosed please find check.”
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.