Quote Investigator® – Page 108

I Don’t Want To Elect Anyone Stupid Enough To Want the Job

Erma Bombeck? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The age of social media has exacerbated political antagonisms. A sardonic comedian once claimed that no person foolish enough to run for a high political office could be worthy of a vote. I hope high-quality candidates ignore this facetious viewpoint, but it is difficult to discount. Would you please explore this remark?

Quote Investigator: In 1992 the widely-syndicated humorist Erma Bombeck wrote the following about the position of U.S. President. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1992 March 16, Asheville Citizen-Times, Presidency: a dead end job for sure by Erma Bombeck, Quote Page 2A, Column 4, Asheville, North Carolina. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

It is fast coming to the point where I don’t want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

She described the following as a drawback for the office:

A president can look forward to four to eight years’ employment—tops. Then what does he do? Write his memoirs? Play a little golf? Build houses? Visit his library?

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A Diplomat Is a Person Who Can Tell You To Go To Hell in Such a Tactful Way That You’ll Look Forward with Pleasure To Making the Trip

Winston Churchill? Caskie Stinnett? Gary Knafelc? Vince Lombardi? Viola Layne? Earl Wilson? Joe Williams? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Diplomacy is a difficult profession that rewards sensitivity and great verbal dexterity. The following witticism has been credited to travel writer and humorist Caskie Stinnett:

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

The following similar remarks have been attributed to Winston Churchill:

Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.

What do you think?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Winston Churchill employed this joke. He received credit by the 2000s. Caskie Stinnett did use this gag in his book “Out of the Red” in 1960, but it was already in circulation.

The earliest instance located by QI appeared as an anonymous filler item in the “St. Louis Star-Times” of Missouri in November 1937. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1937 November 27, St. Louis Star-Times, (Filler item), Quote Page 10, Column 1, St. Louis, Missouri. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a tactful way that you’ll look forward with pleasure to making the trip.

The phrasing is variable which makes the expression difficult to trace. Thus, earlier evidence may be discovered by future researchers. Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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In Three Words, I Can Sum Up Everything I’ve Learned About Life. It Goes On

Robert Frost? Edna St. Vincent Millay? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The acclaimed American poet Robert Frost was asked as an octogenarian what he had learned about life, and he succinctly replied: It goes on.

I have been unable to find a contemporaneous citation, and a popular quotation website says that the attribution is disputed. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: Robert Frost did utter this proverbial wisdom during his eightieth birthday celebration according to journalist and self-help writer Ray Josephs. In September 1954 the Sunday newspaper supplement “This Week Magazine” published “Robert Frost’s Secret” by Josephs which included the following exchange. Ellipses were in the original text. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1954 September 5, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Section: This Week Magazine, Robert Frost’s Secret by Ray Josephs, Quote Page 2, Column 1, Cincinnati, Ohio. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

“In all your years and all your travels,” I asked, “what do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned about life?”

He paused a moment, then with the twinkle sparkling under those brambly eyebrows he replied: “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Coolidge Effect

Calvin Coolidge? Frank A. Beach? Lisbeth Jordan? Robert E. Whalen? Elliot Liebow?

Dear Quote Investigator: The scientific literature on animal behavior contains the term “Coolidge Effect” which apparently was inspired by a ribald anecdote about Calvin Coolidge and his wife Grace. Would you please explore the provenance of this term and the accompanying story?

Quote Investigator: An illuminating letter on this topic from University of California, Berkeley, Professor of Psychology Frank A. Beach appeared in the 1974 fourth edition of “Principles of General Psychology”. Beach asserted that he was responsible for the introduction of the term “Coolidge Effect” into the scientific literature. He said that “the neologism referred to an old joke about Calvin Coolidge” which he described as follows. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1974, Principles of General Psychology by Gregory A. Kimble, Norman Garmezy and Edward Zigler, Fourth Edition, Chapter 9: Motivation and Conflict, Letter from: Frank A. Beach, Date: January 4, 1974, Quote Page 249, The Ronald Press Company, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown around an experimental government farm. When she came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, Coolidge asked, “Same hen every time?” The reply was, “Oh no, Mr. President, a different hen every time.” Coolidge: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge!”

Beach stated that he and co-worker Lisbeth Jordan researched the sexual behavior of rats in 1955. A male rat could copulate with a female a limited number of times before experiencing a period of exhaustion. Researcher Alan Fisher found that the introduction of a new female partner increased the number of encounters. Beach’s group replicated the findings of Fisher, and the results of his group were reported by Dick Whalen during the 1958 meetings of the Western Psychological Association. As a “silly joke” Beach told Whalen to refer to the phenomenon as the “Coolidge Effect” and to provide no further explanation for the term. The session chair Dave Krech also agreed to mention the term.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Hitchcock Is a Gentleman Farmer Who Raises Gooseflesh

Ingrid Bergman? Alfred Hitchcock? Stephen King? Stefan Kanfer? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: I once heard a remarkably apt description of a director who created horror films:

That auteur is a farmer who raises gooseflesh.

Gooseflesh is also referred to as goose bumps or horripilation. Would you please tell me the name of the director and the name of the quipster?

Quote Investigator: In March 1979 Alfred Hitchcock received the Lifetime Achievement Award of the American Film Institute (AFI). The acclaimed actress Ingrid Bergman who starred in three films with Hitchcock: Notorious, Spellbound, and Under Capricorn was the host of the ceremony. A segment from her introductory speech has been uploaded to YouTube, and it shows her delivering the line although it is possible that the AFI hired someone to help her prepare. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] YouTube video, Title: Ingrid Bergman Calls Alfred Hitchcock An “Adorable Genius”, Uploaded on April 14, 2009, Uploaded by: American Film Institute, Description: Ingrid Bergman plays hostess at the AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute To Alfred Hitchcock, (Quotation starts at 0 minute 56 seconds of 3 minutes 56 seconds), (Accessed on youtube.com on March 28, 2018) link [/ref]

Congratulations to the American Film Institute who tonight acknowledged what our audiences have known for 50 years that Alfred Hitchcock is an adorable genius.

Dear Hitch, I’ve come all the way from London, from your home town, to give you my love and affection. One might say that Hitchcock is a gentleman farmer who raises gooseflesh.

Enigmatically, a reporter for the Associated Press who covered the event presented a slightly different quotation:[ref] 1979 March 8, The Seattle Times, Hitchcock honored by Bob Thomas (Associated Press writer), Quote Page C2, Column 4, Seattle, Washington. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

“Hitch is a gentleman farmer who raises gooseflesh,” said Ingrid Bergman, mistress of ceremonies for the program, which will be telecast March 12 on C.B.S.

Although ailing with arthritis, Hitchcock was able to walk to the table of honor on his own, amid a standing ovation.

Bergman did use the phrase “Dear Hitch” in her speech, but she clearly enunciated “Hitchcock” as part of the quotation. Perhaps the reporter employed an inaccurate transcript.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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We Cannot Build Peace on Empty Stomachs

Norman Borlaug? John Boyd Orr? George C. Marshall?

Dear Quote Investigator: Human deprivation engenders unrest, violence, and war. The following saying has been credited to Nobel laureate Norman Borlaug, an agronomist who contributed to large increases in agricultural productivity:

You can’t build peace on empty stomachs.

The statement has also been attributed to Nobel laureate John Boyd Orr, a doctor who worked to improve food production and distribution. Would you please explore the expression’s provenance?

Quote Investigator: In 1945 John Boyd Orr was elected a Member of Parliament in the U.K. In 1946 the House of Commons discussed the “World Food Situation”, and Orr said the following as recorded in the Hansard:[ref] 1946 May 31, Hansard, United Kingdom Parliament, Commons, World Food Situation, Speaking: Sir J. Boyd Orr (Combined Scottish Universities), HC Deb, volume 423, cc1490-578. (Accessed hansard.millbanksystems.com on March 25, 2018) link [/ref]

This country had such a good and well organised food policy during the war, and our prestige stands very high. Therefore, I hope the Government will wholeheartedly support this new Food Council, and will accept its instructions and carry them out as far as possible. I believe that by doing so, we shall make a very great contribution to peace. After all, famine is the greatest of all politicians. We cannot build peace on empty stomachs.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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I Don’t Trust Nature. Out There Things Can Fall On You, Like Meteors or Manna

Robert Benchley? Arthur Loeb Mayer? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The popular humorist and actor Robert Benchley has been credited with the following response to a colleague who desired company during exercise:

Go jogging? What, and get hit by a meteor?

Benchley died in 1945; hence, this scenario appears anachronistic. Would you please help determine what Benchley said?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no evidence that Robert Benchley made a comical remark about jogging. Instead, QI conjectures that the quip was derived from an anecdote published in 1952 which is listed further below.

A meteor is a piece of matter then enters earth’s atmosphere from space and produces a streak of light in the sky when it incandesces via friction. A mass of stone or metal that reaches the earth is called a meteorite. The two closely related terms are often confused, and in 1935 Robert Benchley joked about them in his syndicated newspaper column:[ref] 1935 February 11, Cumberland Evening Times, Duck, Brothers! by Robert Benchley (King Feature Syndicate), Quote Page 4, Column 3 and 4, Cumberland, Maryland. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Next month will be a bad one for those people who bruise easily, as meteor showers are predicted. It will be well for everyone to travel by subway as much as possible, or, at any rate, to hug up close to the buildings while walking along the street. Those meteors can hurt!

To forestall indignant letters from astronomers and ex-meteors let me say that I know the difference between meteors and meteorites, and that meteorites are the only one that could hurt if they hit you.

In 1953 Arthur Loeb Mayer, a prominent motion-picture distributor, published “Merely Colossal” which included a tale about Benchley:[ref] 1953, Merely Colossal: The Story of the Movies from the Long Chase to the Chaise Longue by Arthur Mayer, Chapter 8, Quote Page 124, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

I called on Benchley once in Hollywood at his bungalow at the sun-drenched Garden of Allah and found him in his shorts sitting inside under a sun lamp. I pointed out that with a few steps he could be out of doors and under nature’s sun. “I don’t trust nature,” he shuddered. “Out there things can fall on you. Like meteors. Or manna.”

The story above caught the eye of a newspaper columnist in Minnesota who saw a pre-publication copy of the book and reprinted the anecdote in December 1952 before the official publication date.[ref] 1952 December 3, Minneapolis Morning Tribune (Star Tribune), After Last Night: ‘Annnnnnd…’ Is a TV Crutch, by Will Jones, Quote Page 31, Column 2 and 3, Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Hollywood Is the Only Place Where You Can Die of Encouragement

Dorothy Parker? Pauline Kael?

Dear Quote Investigator: The decision to greenlight a movie in Hollywood is complicated and protracted. Those eager to make films experience a mixture of encouragement, uncertainty, delays, and heartbreak. Here are two versions of a germane witticism:

Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement.
Hollywood is the only place where you can die of encouragement.

These words have been credited to author Dorothy Parker and movie critic Pauline Kael. Would you please determine the correct ascription?

Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Dorothy Parker who died in 1967 crafted this line.

In 1980 Pauline Kael published a piece in “The New Yorker” titled “Why Are Movies So Bad? or, The Numbers”. Many people in the movie business have the power to say no to a nascent project. Individuals at the top of the studio hierarchy can say yes, but they are cautious:[ref] 1980 June 23, The New Yorker, The Current Cinema: Why Are Movies So Bad? or, The Numbers by Pauline Kael, Start Page 82, Quote Page 88, The New Yorker Magazine Inc., New York. (Archive of The New Yorker at archives.newyorker.com)[/ref]

They postpone decisions because they’re fearful, and also because they don’t mind keeping someone dangling while his creative excitement dries up and all the motor drive goes out of his proposal. They don’t mind keeping people waiting, because it makes them feel more powerful.

Kael named some executives who were willing push projects forward with alacrity. Yet, she stated that definitive responses were uncommon. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:

But most of the ones who could say yes don’t; they consider it and string you along. (Hollywood is the only place where you can die of encouragement.) For the supplicant, it’s a matter of weeks, months, years, waiting for meetings at which he can beg permission to do what he was, at the start, eager to do.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: The Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing the World He Didn’t Exist

Christopher McQuarrie? Charles Baudelaire? Kevin Spacey? Verbal Kint? Keyser Söze? John Wilkinson? William Ramsey? John Fletcher Hurst? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The 1995 movie “The Usual Suspects” contains a memorable line spoken by a guileful character about the existence or non-existence of the Devil.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Apparently, the prominent French literary figure Charles Baudelaire said something similar. Would you please explore this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Charles Baudelaire did write a story that appeared in the Paris newspaper “Le Figaro” in 1864 that included a comparable statement. The precise citation is given further below.

Interesting precursors occurred even earlier; for example, the 1836 book “Quakerism Examined” by John Wilkinson contained the following. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

One of the artifices of Satan is, to induce men to believe that he does not exist: another, perhaps equally fatal, is to make them fancy that he is obliged to stand quietly by, and not to meddle with them, if they get into true silence.

In 1856 “Spiritualism, a Satanic Delusion, and a Sign of the Times” by Pastor William Ramsey included this passage:²

One of the most striking proofs of the personal existence of Satan, which our times afford us, is found in the fact, that he has so influenced the minds of multitudes in reference to his existence and doings, as to make them believe that he does not exist; and that the hosts of Demons or Evil Spirits, over whom Satan presides as Prince, are only the phantacies of the brain, some halucination of mind. Could we have a stronger proof of the existence of a mind so mighty as to produce such results?

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Risk Comes from Not Knowing What You’re Doing

Warren Buffett? Jim Rasmussen? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The investment record of Warren Buffett has been astonishingly successful. His reputation for sagacity means that his tongue can transform a prosaic remark into an adage of wry plainspoken wisdom such as the following:

Risk comes from not knowing what you’re going.

I have seen low quality citations in secondary sources from the 2010s. Can you help me to find a good citation for this comment?

Quote Investigator: In 1993 Warren Buffett spoke to graduate students at Columbia University’s Business School in New York City. Reporter Jim Rasmussen wrote about the event in January 1994 in the “Omaha World-Herald” of Nebraska.

A student asked Buffett how he evaluated investments and risk, and Buffett used the Washington Post Company as an example of a safe investment circa 1973. He stated that the company’s market value at that time was underestimated because it was substantially lower than the value of the properties it owned. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1994 January 2, Omaha World-Herald, Section: Business, Billionaire Talks Strategy With Students Columbia University Group Hears From Famous Alumnus Berkshire Hathaway by Jim Rasmussen (Herald Staff Writer), Quote Page 17S, Omaha, Nebraska. (The article text in the database misspelled “knowing” as “knowning”) (NewsBank Access World News)[/ref]

And it was being run by honest and able people who all had a significant part of their net worth in the business. It was ungodly safe. It wouldn’t have bothered me to put my whole net worth in it. Not in the least.

Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.

Interestingly, “The Washington Post” and other newspaper and media organizations have become riskier assets in modern times because of internet induced turmoil. Amazon leader Jeff Bezos purchased the paper in 2013.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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