Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Quip Origin: It’s Not the Fall That Hurts You; It’s the Sudden Stop at the End

Douglas Adams? Spike Milligan? Terry Pratchett? Charlie Bates? Harry Harrison? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Prominent humorists have been credited with statements from the following family of jokes about collisions. Here are three examples:

(1) Falling doesn’t hurt you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
(2) It isn’t the speed that kills people; it’s the sudden stop.
(3) Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

English author Douglas Adams, Irish comedian Spike Milligan, and English author Terry Pratchett have each received credit for telling jokes in this family. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This joke is difficult to trace because it can be phrased in many ways. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1853 within an anecdote published in “The Ladies’ Repository” magazine of New York. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

After a late supper, and two or three extra glasses, Charlie Bates is apt to be somnambulistic. Night before last, being an occasion of this kind, he backed himself out of his chamber window and fell to the pavement, a distance of ten or twelve feet. A passer-by came up to condole with him, remarking, “You seem to have had a bad fall.” “My dear sir,” answered Charlie, “the fall was a trifle not worth mentioning; but the sudden stop was decidedly unpleasant.”

Thus, this family of jokes began many years before Douglas Adams, Spike Milligan, and Terry Pratchett were born.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quip Origin: “What Is the Difference Between a Taxidermist and a Tax Collector?” “The Taxidermist Takes Only Your Skin”

Mark Twain? Merle Johnson? Albert Bigelow Paine?

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous humorist apparently said something like the following about taxation. Here are two versions:

(1) “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?” “The taxidermist takes only your skin.”

(2) The difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist only takes your hide.

This quip has been attributed to Mark Twain. Would you please help me to determine the correct phrasing?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain died in 1910, and the earliest published evidence located by QI appeared in a slim volume of Twain’s one-liners titled “More Maxims of Mark” compiled by Merle Johnson and privately printed in November 1927. The following three items appeared on page fourteen. The original text was all uppercase. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.

We can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

The quip also appeared in 1935 within “Mark Twain’s Notebook” which was published by Albert Bigelow Paine who was Twain’s literary executor. This book included observations, ideas, and diary-like material from Twain’s collection of notebooks. The following four items appeared in a section dated 1902:²

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.

Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.

You must not pay a person a compliment and then straightway follow it with a criticism.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Avoidance of Taxes Is the Only Intellectual Pursuit That Still Carries Any Reward

John Maynard Keynes? Dennis Gabor? Alan L. Mackay? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

**Illustration of a calculator with coins from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A cynical taxpayer crafted the following remark:

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.

This statement has been credited to the famous economist John Maynard Keynes, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1970 book “Innovations: Scientific, Technological, and Social” by Hungarian-British physicist Dennis Gabor. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Even in Britain, where direct taxation has long reached the stage at which, as J. M. Keynes said ‘the avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any award’ and where private households save now only 6 per cent of their income, direct taxation brings in only 40 per cent of the public revenue, which is 38 per cent of the G.N.P.

This version of the quotation used the word “award” instead of “reward”. The statement appeared more than two decades after the death of John Maynard Keynes in 1946. Also, Gabor did not present a citation for the remark. Thus, this evidence is weak.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The One Thing That Hurts More Than Having To Pay Income Tax Is Not Having To Pay Income Tax

Thomas Robert Dewar? Anonymous?

**Picture of a typewriter with a tax form from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A wit once said that he disliked paying income taxes, but the alternative of not paying income taxes was even worse. No payment implied no income, and that would be a terrible situation.

This quip has been attributed to Scottish whisky distiller Thomas Robert Dewar. Would you please help me to determine if this ascription is accurate by finding a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In October 1927 Thomas Robert Dewar delivered a speech at the Poultry Club in London. The article about the event in the “Daily Mirror” newspaper of London used the subtitle “Lord Dewar’s Epigrams”. Here is a sampling of five remarks from Dewar’s address. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Sometimes a pessimist is the man who backed an optimist.

The optimist is certain of going to Heaven; the pessimist is certain he won’t like it even if he gets there.

Experience is what you get while you are looking for something else.

The one thing that hurts more than having to pay income tax is not having to pay income tax.

When the time comes for the meek to inherit the earth, taxes will be so high that they won’t want it.

Articles about Dewar’s speech appeared on the same day in several newspapers including the “Daily Record”² of Glasgow, Scotland and the “Newcastle Daily Journal”³ of Newcastle, England. These articles included the quip about taxes. Thus, there is solid evidence that Dewar spoke this joke in October 1927, but there is also evidence that the joke was already in circulation.

For example, in January 1927 “Smith’s Weekly” of Sydney, Australia printed a column called “The Melting Pot” which contained the following item without attribution. The phrasing was slightly different because it used the word “paying”:⁴

If there’s one thing that hurts more than paying income tax—it’s not having to pay income tax.

Another example of a saying that was in circulation before Dewar’s October 1927 speech is the following which appeared in the “Toledo Weekly Blade” of Toledo, Ohio in May 1923:⁵

Experience is what you get while you are looking for something else.

Hence, QI believes Dewar originated some epigrams, but he also repeated some existing epigrams.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The True New Yorker’s Secret Belief That People Living Anywhere Else Had To Be, In Some Sense, Kidding

John Updike? Henry Bech? Apocryphal?

**Picture of the New York City skyline from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: People who love living in New York City often believe it is the epicenter of the world. Here are two versions of a statement displaying this attitude:

(1) The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

(2) He had the true New Yorker’s secret belief that people living anywhere else had to be, in some sense, kidding.

This saying has been attributed to the prominent U.S. literary figure John Updike. Would you please help me to find a citation and to determine the correct phrasing?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1982 John Updike published the novel “Bech Is Back”. The main character was a writer named Henry Bech who was able to overcome writer’s block. In the following passage Updike presented the inner-thoughts of Bech. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The folks downtown looked merry to Bech, and the whole burg on a play scale; he had the true New Yorker’s secret belief that people living anywhere else had to be, in some sense, kidding.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I’d Much Rather Eat Pasta and Drink Wine Than Be a Size Zero

Sophia Loren? Sophia Bush? Sofia Scicolone? Apocryphal?

**Picture of pasta and wine from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A person in the public eye was asked about dieting to remain svelte, and the fun-loving reply highlighted the importance of taking pleasure in life:

I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size zero.

This statement has been attributed to two popular performers: Sophia Loren and Sophia Bush. Would you please explore this topic and determine whether either of these women delivered this refreshing remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2007 “People” magazine published a piece titled “3 Questions For Sophia Bush”. The following was the third question and reply. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PRESSURE TO BE THIN?

Life is too short and I’m Italian. I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size 0.

Size zero is a small clothing size for women in the U.S. QI believes Sophia Bush is the most likely creator of this quotation. She appeared in the television series “One Tree Hill” (2003-2012) and “Chicago P.D.” (2014-2017). She also appeared in the movies “The Hitcher” (2007), “Chalet Girl” (2011), and “Marshall” (2017).

QI has found no substantive support for the attribution to Sophia Loren (stage name of Sofia Scicolone). This mistake fits a known error mechanism in which an attribution jumps from one person to another person with a similar name. This error is more likely to occur when the latter person is more famous like Loren who starred in many movies including: “Houseboat” (1958), “Two Women” (1961), “El Cid” (1961), “Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow” (1963), “Arabesque” 1966, and “Pret-a-Porter” (1994).

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Revenge Is a Dish Best Eaten Cold

Eugène Sue? Klemens von Metternich? Charles de Talleyrand? Otto von Bismarck? Susannah Frances Reynolds? Roman Proverb? Klingon Proverb? Anonymous?

**Picture of pumpkin soup served chilled from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Individuals who seek revenge often find that careful planning and the elapse of time are required to obtain justice. The following proverb is popular with those who pursue vengeance. Here are four versions:

(1) Revenge is a dish best eaten cold
(2) Revenge is a dish best served cold
(3) Vengeance is best eaten cold
(4) Vengeance should be eaten cold

Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the 1841 French novel “Mathilde: Mémoires D’une Jeune Femme” (“Matilda: Memoirs of a Young Woman”) by Eugène Sue. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Si j’avais eu le courage de me battre avec Lancry, il me semble que je l’aurais tué, tant je le haïssais; mais je vous l’ai dit . . . je suis nerveux, j’ai attendu . . . Et puis la vengeance se mange très-bien froide, comme on dit vulgairement . . .

Here is one possible translation into English:

If I had had the courage to fight Lancry, it seems to me that I would have killed him, so much did I hate him; but I told you . . . I am nervous, I waited . . . And revenge is best eaten cold, as they say vulgarly . . .

The speaking character did not take credit for the saying; instead, he indicated that it was already in circulation. Thus, Eugène Sue helped to popularize the expression, but the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Nine-Tenths of Painting Will Be Extinguished by the Competition of Photographs

George Bernard Shaw? Henrietta Clopath? Sidney Trefusis? Charles Baudelaire? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

**Silhouette of a person holding a camera from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Generative artificial intelligence (AI) systems are now capable of rapidly constructing images, videos, 3d-objects, and text. The current output displays flaws, but the quality and variety continues to improve.

Artists are experiencing a volatile mixture of wonder, anticipation, uncertainty, fear, resentment, and disgust. An analogous technological upheaval occurred as photography matured. Here are two statements of prediction about the disruption that occurred during the 19^th and early 20^th century:

(1) Nine-tenths of painting will be extinguished by the competition of photographs.

(2) Color photography will eventually supersede the art of painting.

The first statement has been linked to the playwright George Bernard Shaw, and the second statement has been linked to the painter Henrietta Clopath. However, I have not seen any solid citations. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1887 George Bernard Shaw published “An Unsocial Socialist” which featured an eccentric protagonist named Sidney Trefusis who was enamored with photography. Trefusis was asked to predict the future of the arts. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Photography perfected in its recently discovered power of reproducing colour as well as form! Historical pictures replaced by photographs of tableaux vivants formed and arranged by trained actors and artists, and used chiefly for the instruction of children. Nine-tenths of painting as we understand it at present extinguished by the competition of these photographs; and the remaining tenth only holding its own against them by dint of extraordinary excellence!”

Shaw’s character Trefusis condemned painters and etchers who derided photography:²

“The artists are sticking to the old barbarous, difficult, and imperfect processes of etching and portrait painting merely to keep up the value of their monopoly of the required skill. They have left the new, more complexly organized, and more perfect, yet simple and beautiful method of photography in the hands of tradesmen, sneering at it publicly, and resorting to its aid surreptitiously.”

Of course, Shaw’s personal views may have differed from those of the protagonist in his novel. Today, the number of digital color photographs vastly exceeds the number of paintings and etchings although most photographs are not snapped to display high aesthetic values.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Edison Has Invented Too Many Things

New York Times? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

**Portrait of Thomas Edison and his early phonograph**

Question for Quote Investigator: After Thomas Edison invented the phonograph many praised the device. However, a major newspaper apparently reacted with the following odd remark:

Mr. Edison has invented too many things.

This statement has been attributed to “The New York Times”. Is this quotation accurate? Did it ever appear in the pages of the Gray Lady?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In March 1878 “The New York Times” published a comically exaggerated opinion piece that began with the following preposterous remarks. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

Something ought to be done to Mr. Edison, and there is a growing conviction that it had better be done with a hemp rope. Mr. Edison has invented too many things, and almost without exception they are things of the most deleterious character.

He has been addicted to electricity for many years, and it is not very long ago that he became notorious for having discovered a new force, though he has since kept it carefully concealed, either upon his person or elsewhere. Recently he invented the phonograph, a machine that catches the lightest whisper of conversation and stores it up, so that at any future time it can be brought out, to the confusion of the original speaker.

This machine will eventually destroy all confidence between man and man, and render more dangerous than ever woman’s want of confidence in woman.

The author of the piece was not listed. The article mentioned the dangers of voicing a harsh opinion that might be recorded:

Who will be willing, even in the bosom of his family, to express any but most innocuous and colorless views ? and what woman when calling on a female friend , and waiting for the latter to make her appearance in the drawing-room, will dare to express her opinion of the wretched taste displayed in the furniture, or the hideous appearance of the family photographs?

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Tree Remembers What the Axe Forgets

Shona Proverb? G. Fortune? Maya Angelou? Wolfgang Mieder? Anonymous?

**Picture of an axe buried in a tree truck from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A faultfinder may deliver a harsh criticism and quickly forget it. Yet, the recipient of the barb may create a painful memory. Similarly, a person who causes an injury may forget the incident, but the person who is hurt will likely remember it. Here are three versions of a pertinent saying:

(1) The axe forgets what the tree remembers.
(2) The ax forgets, but the cut log does not.
(3) What the axe forgets the stump does not forget.

Would you please explore the provenance of this proverb?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1955 G. Fortune of the University of Cape Town in South Africa published “An Analytical Grammar of Shona” which contained the following English translation of a phrase:¹

What has forgotten is the axe – the stump does not forget

In 1968 G. Fortune published a book chapter titled “Predication of ‘Being’ in Shona” which included the proverb. Fortune stated that the version he presented was based on the Zezuru dialect cluster of Shona:²

Chakángánwá idemo, chigutsá hachíkángánwé

(What has forgotten / is the axe /, the stump (which was once a tree) / does not forget; viz. A person who is injured does not forget though the one who injured him may forget) cp. démó (axe)

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.