Quote Origin: There Are Three Things a Person Can Make Out of Almost Nothing — a Salad, a Hat, and a Quarrel

Posted byquoteresearch

Mark Twain? Coco Chanel? John Barrymore? Marlene Dietrich? Jackie Kannon? Anonymous?

Picture of a vegetable salad from Nadine Primeau at Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: A creative person can fashion a hat out of almost any scrap of fabric. An imaginative person can combine a wide variety of ingredients to create a salad. An irascible person can generate a quarrel from a mild disagreement. These three observations have inspired the following saying:

There are three things that a person can make out of practically nothing — a hat, a salad, and a quarrel.

Typically, the person in this expression is identified as a woman. This saying has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain, French designer Coco Chanel, U.S. actor John Barrymore, and many others. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Mark Twain crafted this saying. It does not appear on the Twain Quotes website edited by Barbara Schmidt,1 nor does it appear in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips” edited by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger.2 Twain died in 1910, and he received credit by 1959.

The earliest match found by QI appeared in a Canton, Missouri newspaper in 1907 within a miscellaneous group of sayings published under the title “Pert Paragraphs”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:3

There are three things a woman can make out of nothing—a hat, a salad and a fight.

No attributions were listed in the early citations for this expression; hence, QI considers the creator anonymous. The phrasing has evolved over time. Variants have used the terms: “fight”, “argument”, “quarrel”, “domestic scene”, and “scandal”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

In July 1910 a newspaper in Frankfort, Kentucky4 and a newspaper in Maysville, Kentucky5 printed the following filler item using the word “argument”:

There are three things a woman can make out of nothing—a hat, a salad and an argument.

In 1917 the “Springfield Daily News” of Massachusetts published an instance using the word “quarrel”:6

Someone has said that a woman can make something out of nothing at all citing as examples three things in particular—a hat, a salad and a quarrel.

In 1949 “The Wichita Eagle” of Kansas printed an instance while acknowledging another newspaper:7

There are three things a woman can make out of nothing: A hat, a salad and a quarrel.—Topeka Journal.

In 1952 a columnist in Deadwood, South Dakota published a version with two things instead of three:8

There are two things a woman can toss together out of nothing—a salad and a hat, sometimes they both taste and look like it and sometimes you can’t tell which is which.

In 1952 an instance appeared in the widely syndicated column of Earl Wilson:9

Earl’s Pearls — “There are three things,” says Jackie Kannon, “that any wife can make out of practically nothing — a salad, a hat and a quarrel.”

In December 1952 an instance appeared in the widely syndicated column of publisher Bennett Cerf:10

Guy Williams, in the Calgary Herald, says there are three things a woman can make out of absolute­ly nothing: a salad, a hat and a quarrel.

In March 1954 the saying was credited to the prominent actor John Barrymore:11

J. Barrymore, gifted with the knack of tossing off nifties, once toasted the ladies: “There are three things a woman can make out of almost nothing—a salad, a hat and a quarrel.”

In July 1954 the mass-circulation periodical “Reader’s Digest” printed the following item:12

John Barrymore: There are three things a woman can make out of almost nothing — a salad, a hat and a quarrel.

In 1957 an instance appeared in a Manhattan, Kansas newspaper:13

Bertha Shore says there are three things a woman can make out of nothing — a hat, a salad and a quarrel.

In 1959 a column in “The Calgary Herald” of Canada attributed the saying to a famous humorist:14

Did Mark Twain say all women have a talent for making something out of nothing?

Yes, it was Mark Twain who wrote: “A woman can make three things out of nothing — a hat, a salad, and a quarrel.”

In 1960 a column “The Gazette” of Montreal, Canada attributed the saying to a famous thespian:15

THE LIGHTER SIDE: Marlene Dietrich is the source of the following: “Women can create three things from almost nothing—a salad, a hat and a domestic scene.”

In 1968 the compilation “20,000 Quips and Quotes” compiled by Evan Esar included this item:16

There are three things a woman can make out of almost anything—a salad, a hat and a quarrel.
—John Barrymore

In 1975 “The Reader’s Digest Treasury of Modern Quotations” included this item:17

There are three things a woman can make out of almost nothing—a salad, a hat, and a quarrel.
John Barrymore, as quoted in Reader’s Digest, July 1954

The saying has appeared in other languages such as French. In 1983 “H comme humour : 1500 mots d’esprit pour chaque occasion de la vie” printed this version while crediting to Twain:18

Il y a trois choses qu’une femme est capable de réaliser avec rien : un chapeau, une salade et une scène de ménage. (Mark TWAIN)

Here is one possible translation:

There are three things a woman can do with nothing: a hat, a salad, and a domestic scene. (Mark TWAIN)

In 1994 a newspaper in Bangor, Wales reported that a Russian lecturer employed a version with the word “scandal”:19

The speaker for the evening was Ludmila Sozenova from Sanata in Russia. She is working as a lecturer in the Russian department at Bangor University and gave an insight into the life of Russian women.

She quoted a Russian saying, “out of nothing a woman can make three things: a hat, a salad and a scandal.”

In 2022 an essay on the Medium website attributed a French version of the saying to the famous fashion designer Coco Chanel and others:20

At the end of 2020, when I wanted to return to vintage feminine fashion, there were practically no hats on sale. And the ones I had were lost to me. Therefore, I had to fantasize, following the old French wisdom, which is sometimes attributed to Mark Twain for some reason, sometimes to Gabrielle Chanel, and sometimes to many others:

“…Il y a trois choses qu’une femme est capable de réaliser avec rien: un chapeau, une salade et une scène de ménage…”

In conclusion, the earliest match found by QI appeared in 1907. The creator was anonymous. The first ascriptions occurred only after the saying had been circulating for many years. The attribution to Mark Twain and others is unsupported by current evidence.

Image Notes: Picture of a vegetable salad from Nadine Primeau at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Сергей whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Сергей mentioned the attributions to Mark Twain, John Barrymore, Coco Chanel, and others.

  1. Website: TwainQuotes.com, Editor: Barbara Schmidt, (QI searched the website for “salad” and found no pertinent matches), Description: Mark Twain quotations, articles, and related resources. (Searched January 28, 2023) link ↩︎
  2. 1948, Mark Twain at Your Fingertips by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger, (QI searched the book for “salad” and “quarrel” and found no pertinent matches), Cloud, Inc., Beechhurst Press, Inc., New York. (Verified with search) ↩︎
  3. 1907 June 7, The Canton Press, Pert Paragraphs, Quote Page 1, Column 3, Canton, Missouri. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  4. 1910 July 8, The Kentucky State Journal, Little Preachment, Quote Page 6, Column 1, Frankfort, Kentucky. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  5. 1910 July 13, Public Ledger, (Filler item), Quote Page 2, Column 3, Maysville, Kentucky. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  6. 1917 September 13, Springfield Daily News, Ability To Bear and Forbear Real Test of True Friendship by Ellen Adair, Quote Page 8, Column 4, Springfield, Massachusetts. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  7. 1949 April 15, The Wichita Eagle, Kansas Currents, Quote Page 6, Column 3, Wichita, Kansas. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  8. 1952 May 27, Deadwood Pioneer-Times, The Backlog, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Deadwood, South Dakota. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  9. 1952 October 10, Tulsa Daily World, Earl and Beautiful Wife Hear Dr. Peale Preach to ‘Standing-Room-Only’ Crowd by Earl Wilson, Quote Page 49, Column 5, Tulsa, Oklahoma. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  10. 1952 December 12, The Circleville Herald, Bennett Cerf’s Try  and Stop Me, Quote Page 6, Column 7, Circleville, Ohio. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  11. 1954 March 15, The State Journal, New York by John Cameron Swayze (McNaught Syndicate), Quote Page 6, Column 5, Lansing, Michigan. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  12. 1954 July, Reader’s Digest, Volume 65, Number 387, Quotable Quotes, Quote Page 99, The Reader’s Digest Association, Pleasantville, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  13. 1957 March 27, The Manhattan Mercury, (Filler item), Quote Page 4, Column 2, Manhattan, Kansas. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  14. 1959 January 31, The Calgary Herald, Section: The Herald Magazine, Hot Dogs For Cold Feet: Here’s Howe by Pete Howe (King Features Syndicate), Quote Page 8, Column 1, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  15. 1960 January 20, The Gazette, Facts and Fancies, Quote Page 18, Column 1, Montreal, Quebec, Canada. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  16. 1968, 20,000 Quips and Quotes compiled by Evan Esar, Subject: Woman, Quote Page 878, Doubleday, Garden City, New York. (Verified on paper) ↩︎
  17. 1975, The Reader’s Digest Treasury of Modern Quotations, Selected by the Editors of Reader’s Digest, Topic: Men and Women, Quote Page 394, Reader’s Digest Press, Distributed by Thomas Y. Crowell Company, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  18. 1983, H comme humour : 1500 mots d’esprit pour chaque occasion de la vie, de Courteline à Woody Allen, Compiled by Jean-Paul Lacroix, Section: Cultivez La Misogynie, Quote Page 207, France Loisirs, Paris, France. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  19. 1994 February 16, Bangor Anglesey Mail, Community News: LLANDEGFAN, Quote Page 17, Column 1, Bangor, Gwynedd, Wales. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  20. Website: Medium, Article title: Very hot autumn outfit in style of 1955 with eco-friendly handmade half hat, Article author: Dannais dde Daneann, Date on website: Oct 2, 2022, Website description: “Sharing fashion experiments & inspiring with the idea of vintage fashion”. (Accessed medium.com on August 19, 2024) link ↩︎
Exit mobile version