Kiss: A Trick of Nature to Stop Speech When Words Are Superfluous

Ingrid Bergman? Evan Esar? Paul H. Gilbert? Hal Boyle? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: One of my favorite websites recently presented a collection of “Ten Favorite Quotations about Words”. Number one was about osculation:

A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop speech when words become superfluous.

These words were attributed to the lovely Oscar-winning actress Ingrid Bergman, but no citation was given. Oddly, most of the other ten quotes incorporated precise citations. Can you tell me when and where this was said?

Quote Investigator: This statement was credited to Bergman in a syndicated newspaper column written by Hal Boyle in 1970, and this was the earliest connection to Bergman located by QI. The actress lived until 1982, so it was possible that she did speak or write this line.

However, the clever definition was in circulation a few decades earlier. In 1943 Evan Esar, the inveterate phrase collector, published “Esar’s Comic Dictionary” which included the following meaning for the word kiss [EECD]:

kiss. A trick of nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.

Esar did not list credits for any of the definitions in his book proclaiming that the contents were “of popular origin and therefore unattributed”. He also complained about the ubiquity of false attributions in his Foreword [EECF]:

Now more than ever is it a wise crack that knows its own father, for the general practice of apocryphal ascription has been aggravated by the rise of radio.

Yet, Esar also admitted that some of the jokes in his book should have been ascribed:

Some of the unattributed items in this work doubtless derive from present-day humorists and men of letters, and for their inadvertent inclusion the writer wishes to apologize in advance.

The humorous remark about kissing was reprinted without ascription for many years until a version was finally assigned to Bergman by 1970.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Kiss: A Trick of Nature to Stop Speech When Words Are Superfluous”

Character Is Most Evident by How One Treats Those Who Can Neither Retaliate nor Reciprocate

Paul Eldridge? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I noticed that the QI website has an entry for the following expression:

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

I believe a similar statement containing the phrase “to retaliate or to reciprocate” was printed in a 1965 book called “Maxims for a Modern Man” by the novelist Paul Eldridge.

Quote Investigator: Thanks for your valuable note. In August 1948 Paul Eldridge published an article titled “Lanterns in the Night” which listed dozens of maxims. Here are three [PEJF]:

40. Evil flows backward swelling its source.

41. A man’s character is most evident by how he treats those who are not in a position either to retaliate or reciprocate.

42. Avarice is fear sheathed in gold.

In 1965 a version of this saying with a slightly different phrasing was printed in “Maxims for a Modern Man” by Paul Eldridge [PEMM]:

A man is most accurately judged by how he treats those who are not in a position either to retaliate or to reciprocate.

In 2000 the reference work “Random House Webster’s Quotationary” reprinted the adage and credited Eldridge with the following acknowledgement [RHWQ]:

PAUL ELDRIDGE (1888-1982).  Maxims for a Modern Man, 1198, 1965.

This post continues with a comment and conclusion.

Continue reading “Character Is Most Evident by How One Treats Those Who Can Neither Retaliate nor Reciprocate”

Fathers: Give the Gift that Only You Can to Your Child

Ann Landers? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Many years ago I read a poem I greatly enjoyed in a newspaper column by Ann Landers. Unfortunately, I only remember a few fragments:

What will you give one small boy?
… a tinker toy?
No, give him a day he can call his own.

Can you find the poem with this partial information?

Quote Investigator: In the 1950s a poem was printed in multiple newspaper columns during the period around Father’s Day in the United States. Here is an instance published in 1956 in the Oxnard Press-Courier of Oxnard, California. The verse included the phrase “tinseled toy” rather than “tinker toy”. The author was anonymous [OXSB]:

What shall you give to one small boy?
A glamorous game, a tinseled toy,
A barlow knife, a puzzle pack,
A train that runs on curving track?
A picture book; a real live pet.
No, there’s plenty of time for such things yet.
Give him a day for his very own—
Just one small boy and his dad alone.
A walk in the woods, a romp in the park,
A fishing trip from dawn to dark.
Give the gift that only you can—
The companionship of his Old Man.
Games are outgrown, and toys decay—
But he’ll never forget if you “Give him a day.”

Other newspapers publishing the poem included: the Logansport Press of Logansport, Indiana in 1956 [LPSB]; the Millbrook Round Table of Millbrook, New York in 1957 [MRSB]; and the Augusta Chronicle of Augusta, Georgia in 1957 [ACSB]. Each time the poem was labeled anonymous.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Good Girls Go to Heaven. Bad Girls Go Everywhere

Helen Gurley Brown? Lawrence Johnstone? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Helen Gurley Brown was a pioneering and controversial editor at Cosmopolitan magazine. One of her most famous lines was:

Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.

I saw this quote in two of her recent obituary notices, but I have not seen a solid citation. When did she say this?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence connecting Brown to this saying appeared in a New York Times interview in 1982. Brown was explaining the term “mouseburger”, and the interviewer noticed that the adage was written on a pillow [NYHB]:

“A mouseburger is a young woman who is not very prepossessing,” said Mrs. Brown on a recent afternoon, curled up on a floral-patterned couch with a needlepoint pillow that said “Good Girls Go to Heaven — Bad Girls Go Everywhere.” “She is not beautiful. She is poor, has no family connections, and she is not a razzledazzle ball of charm and fire. She is a kind of waif.”

This key citation is listed in the important reference work The Yale Book of Quotations [YQHB]. Brown helped to popularize the expression, but it was in circulation before 1982. For example, in February 1979 an Associated Press newswire story described a card with this caption [GGFL]:

Good little girls may go to heaven. But bad little girls go everywhere.

Precursors to this joke appeared at the turn of the previous century. The quips evolved over decades and QI hypothesizes that two types were combined to yield the modern statement.

In 1900 a New York newspaper printed the following anecdote which comically contrasted the behavior of good girls and bad girls [GGBG]:

WHERE WICKED GIRLS GO.—A mother who was talking to her little girl the other evening was greatly surprised at the answer she received to one of her questions. “My child, where do good girls go when they die?” “To heaven, of course.” “My dear, where do bad girls go?” “To the depot to see the traveling men come in.”

The same basic anecdote was told in multiple periodicals, e.g., newspapers in Princeton, Minnesota [GGPM]; Owego, New York [GGON]; and Adrian, Michigan [GGAM]. In 1908 a variant joke was printed with an acknowledgment to the Los Angeles Times [GGLT]:

Little Jenny had been found guilty of a breach of conduct, and her mother, desiring to impress the importance of perfect behavior, asked her If she knew where the good little girls go when they die. Jenny shook her head and was informed that they go to God’s home above. She was then asked where the bad little girls go. Her answer was speedily forthcoming: “To god’s cellar, of course.”

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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The Professor’s Lecture Notes Go Straight to the Students’ Lecture Notes

Mark Twain? Edwin E. Slosson? Harry Lloyd Miller? Professor Rathburn? Mortimer J. Adler? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Mark Twain is credited with a very funny description of college lectures. For some teachers and students I think this quotation is accurate:

College is a place where a professor’s lecture notes go straight to the students’ lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

I would like to use this statement in an academic paper, but I have not found a proper reference. Could you explore this saying?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence connecting this saying to Mark Twain. The earliest citation located by QI appeared in a 1927 book titled “Creative Learning and Teaching” by the educator Harry Lloyd Miller which contained a version mentioning fountain pens. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[ref] 1927, Creative Learning and Teaching by Harry Lloyd Miller, Quote Page 120, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (HathiTrust full view) link link[/ref]

In the inimitable phrasing of Slosson, “Lecturing is that mysterious process by means of which the contents of the note-book of the professor are transferred through the instrument of the fountain pen to the note-book of the student without passing through the mind of either.”

QI believes that the name “Slosson” probably referred to Edwin Emery Slosson, a scientist, editor, and author. QI has been unable to find a statement in his corpus that closely matched the quotation. However, top-notch searcher Dan Goncharoff did locate precursor passages in Slosson’s 1910 book “Great American Universities” that were thematically similar. For example, the following excerpt emphasized the replication of a lecture without understanding:[ref] 1910, Great American Universities by Edwin E. Slosson, Quote Page 520, Macmillan Company, New York. (Google Books full view) [Thanks also to Stephen Goranson who linked the quote to Edwin E. Slosson] link[/ref]

As it is, the professors give too many lectures and the students listen to too many. Or pretend to; really they do not listen, however attentive and orderly they may be. The bell rings and a troop of tired-looking boys, followed perhaps by a larger number of meek-eyed girls, file into the classroom, sit down, remove the expressions from their faces, open their notebooks on the broad chair arms, and receive. It is about as inspiring an audience as a roomful of phonographs holding up their brass trumpets. They reproduce the lecture in recitations like the phonograph, mechanically and faithfully, but with the tempo and timbre so changed that the speaker would like to disown his remarks if he could.

The next excerpt humorously alluded to the curious theory of the pineal gland held by the famous mathematician and philosopher René Descartes who “regarded it as the principal seat of the soul and the place in which all our thoughts are formed”.[ref] 2011 Summer, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Descartes and the Pineal Gland by Gert-Jan Lokhorst, CSLI: Center for the Study of Language and Information, Stanford University, Stanford, California. (Accessed plato.stanford.edu on August 17 2012) link[/ref] The pineal gland is a small organ near the center of the brain. Slosson contended that students were duplicating lecture material in their notebooks without thinking about it:[ref] 1910, Great American Universities by Edwin E. Slosson, Quote Page 520, Macmillan Company, New York. (Google Books full view) [Thanks also to Stephen Goranson who linked the quote to Edwin E. Slosson] link[/ref]

They take it down. The secret is that they have, without knowing anything about physiological psychology, devised an automatic cut-off which goes into operation as they open their notebooks and short-circuits the train of thought from the ear directly to the hand, without its having to pass through the pineal gland or wherever the soul may be at the time residing and holding court.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Opportunity Is Missed Because It Is Dressed in Overalls and Looks Like Work

Thomas Edison? Henry Dodd? Isaiah Hale? Paul Larmer? Lila Kroppmann? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following quote is credited to Thomas Edison:

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Do you know when he said this and to whom?

Quote Investigator: Both QI and top researcher Barry Popik explored this saying and this entry is based on results from both investigators. The first attribution to Edison known to QI appeared in 1962. Since Edison died in 1931 this is very weak evidence.

May 1921 was the date of the earliest citation for a closely matching expression known to QI. The words were printed in a newspaper in Indiana, and the adage was not credited to any specific person [LPTI]:

The reason most people do not recognize an opportunity when they meet it is because it usually goes around wearing overalls and looking like Hard Work

An interesting precursor to this statement was in circulation by 1911. The precursor did not mention overalls but it did contain other key elements of the saying. No attribution was listed [ODHW]:

The successful man was out and on the job long before opportunity came a-knocking.
And this same opportunity, by the way, is ofttimes disguised as hard work

Another interesting precursor that was closer to the target quotation was in print by 1913. No specific name was given for attribution [ASAM]:

The reason a lot of people can’t find Opportunity is because old Op usually goes around disguised as Hard Work.

In May 1921 a version of the quotation under investigation using the word overalls was published as detailed previously in this post.

In June 1921 the same statement was printed in another newspaper in Indiana without attribution [BNAN], and in July 1922 it was printed without ascription in “The Beaver”, a magazine based in Winnipeg, Canada that was published by the Hudson’s Bay Company for their employees [TBWC].

In September 1922 the expression was printed in “The Rotarian” magazine published by Rotary International. Many sayings were grouped together in a section called “Take It From Me—” by quotation collector and coiner Coleman Cox. The adage was finally credited to a specific individual [RTHD]:

Henry Dodd says, “The reason most people do not recognize an opportunity when they meet it is because it usually goes around wearing overalls and looking like Hard Work.”

In later years the expression was assigned to other people, e.g., Paul Larmer, Lila Kroppmann, and Thomas Edison. The details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Opportunity Is Missed Because It Is Dressed in Overalls and Looks Like Work”

I’d Rather Be Dead than Sing Satisfaction When I’m 45

Mick Jagger? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” is one of their most popular songs. Today lead singer Mick Jagger is almost seventy years old. When he was much younger he supposedly said something like this:

(1) I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.
(2) I’d rather die than be 45 and still singing Satisfaction.
(3) I don’t want to be singing Satisfaction when I’m 40.

Is one of these quotes accurate, or is this a joke from a prankster music journalist?

Quote Investigator: On June 9, 1975 People magazine published an article titled “The Jaggers” that included the following remark from Mick Jagger who was almost thirty-two years old. Bold face has been added [JJMJ]:

Jagger and the Stones have endured at the top longer than any other rock band, but as for the future, Jagger admits that it could all suddenly end. “I only meant to do it for two years. I guess the band would just disperse one day and say goodbye. I would continue to write and sing, but I’d rather be dead than sing Satisfaction when I’m 45.”

In 1981 Time magazine printed a story listing several different cut-off ages and suggesting that Jagger himself had trouble recalling his words. A memoir released in 1983 claimed that Jagger spoke on this topic in 1965. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Once You Are Dead, You Are Made for Life

Jimi Hendrix? Bob Dawbarn? Chris Welch? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Guitar legend Jimi Hendrix died tragically when he was only 27 years old. Shortly before his death he supposedly said this:

It’s funny how most people love the dead. Once you’re dead, you’re made for life.

Was this quote created by mythmakers, or did Hendrix really say it?

Quote Investigator: Hendrix passed away in September 1970, and eighteen months before this event the influential United Kingdom music weekly “Melody Maker” published a three part series about the musician. An extended interview conducted by journalist Bob Dawbarn was split across issues. The third part of the series appeared on March 8, 1969 and included the following remarks from Hendrix. Bold face has been added to highlight the key sentences. The phrasing differed slightly from the version given by the questioner [JHBD]:

The thing is you have to be positive. You have to keep going until you have all the negatives out of your system.

It’s funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead you are made for life. You have to die before they think you are worth anything.

I tell you, when I die I’m not going to have a funeral, I’m going to have a jam session. And, knowing me, I’ll probably get busted at my own funeral.

I shall have them playing everything I did musically – everything I enjoyed doing most. The music will be played loud and it will be our music.

After discussing the songs and the artists he envisioned at his own funeral Hendrix ended with this statement:

For that, it’s almost worth dying, just for the funeral.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Once You Are Dead, You Are Made for Life”

Modern Man Drives a Mortgaged Car Over a Bond-Financed Highway on Credit-Card Gas

Earl Wilson? Cy N. Peace? Earl Nelson? Whitt N. Schultz? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am trying to unearth the source of a quote credited to the columnist Earl Wilson which seems to be everywhere on the web but without a source:

Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

Any help tracking this down would be appreciated.

Quote Investigator: In May 1960 the popular syndicated gossip scribe Earl Wilson did include this saying in his column as one of “Earl’s Pearls” [EWEP]. But the phrase entered circulation a few years before this. The earliest appearance located by QI was in a column called “Tower Ticker” in the Chicago Tribune on September 2, 1957 [HLCP]:

And Cy Peace in a national magazine quips, “Modern man is one who drives a mortgaged car over a bond financed highway on credit card gas!”

Many magazine issues are distributed in advance of their cover dates. The columnist was probably referring to The Saturday Evening Post which was a popular high-circulation periodical in the 1950s. The September 7, 1957 issue of the magazine printed the words in a box as a freestanding quotation. The saying was attributed to Cy N. Peace [SPCP].

On September 6, 1957 a nearly identical version was printed in a Portsmouth, Ohio newspaper. The column “Pete’s Pungent Patter” by Pete Minego listed the saying without an attribution [OHPP]:

Modern man: One who drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit card gas.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Modern Man Drives a Mortgaged Car Over a Bond-Financed Highway on Credit-Card Gas”

It Is Not Enough to Succeed; One’s Best Friend Must Fail

Gore Vidal? La Rochefoucauld? W. Somerset Maugham? Wilfrid Sheed? Iris Murdoch? David Merrick? Genghis Khan? Larry Ellison? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Competition and jealousy are reflected in a family of closely related cynical sayings:

  • It is not enough to succeed; one’s best friend must fail.
  • It is not enough to succeed; one’s friends must fail.
  • It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.
  • It’s not enough that I should succeed, others should fail.
  • It is not sufficient that I succeed – all others must fail.

I have heard different versions of these quotations credited to the epigrammatist La Rochefoucauld, the writer Gore Vidal, and the warlord Genghis Khan. Could you examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: François Duc de la Rochefoucauld was born in 1613, and he did craft adages that are sometimes confused with the phrases you have given. Here are English translations of two of his statements that were originally made in French [YQRO] [OXRO]:

In the misfortune of our best friends, we always find something which is not displeasing to us.

We are all strong enough to bear the misfortunes of others.

These are really different maxims, and QI believes that the sayings under investigation should not be ascribed to La Rochefoucauld. A separate post will be created to discuss Rochefoucauld’s words.

The earliest instance known to QI of a quotation that fits in this family of sayings was published in 1959. The words were attributed to the best-selling author Somerset Maugham by the avid quotation collector Bennett Cerf. The quote was published in Cerf’s syndicated newspaper column called “Try and Stop Me”, and he credited Maugham second-hand through an unnamed “visitor”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI [SMFF]:

Octogenarian Somerset Maugham told a visitor to his French Riviera estate recently, “Now that I’ve grown old, I realize that for most of us it is not enough to have achieved personal success. One’s best friend must also have failed.”

In 1961 “Somerset Maugham: A Biographical and Critical Study” by Richard A. Cordell was published, and it included a discussion of the quotation immediately above. The biographer contended that Maugham’s comment was inspired by his exposure to the Maxims of La Rochefoucauld in his youth. The excerpt below referred to Maugham’s sojourn in Heidelberg, Germany that began when he was eighteen. The excerpt also referred his 85th birthday which occurred in 1959 [SMRC]:

His companions introduced him to the pleasures of art, poetry, theatre, and friendly disputation. He discovered the Maxims of La Rochefoucauld, and their echoes were heard for sixty years in his plays and stories. On Maugham’s eighty-fifth birthday a journalist reported him as uttering a pure La Rochefoucauld: “Now that I have grown old, I realize that for most of us it is not enough to have achieved personal success. One’s best friend must also have failed.” Fortunately one is not obliged to accept as authentic every statement made by a columnist, and this ill-humored remark is quoted out of context.

Some readers may have misinterpreted the phrase “uttering a pure La Rochefoucauld” and concluded that the quotation was composed directly by La Rochefoucauld. But Cordell actual meant that the quote was stylistically and thematically congruent with the maxims of La Rochefoucauld. This similarity has caused confusion between the words of Maugham and La Rochefoucauld for decades as shown in the citations below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “It Is Not Enough to Succeed; One’s Best Friend Must Fail”

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