We Have Only the Present Moment, Sparkling Like a Star in Our Hands — and Melting Like a Snowflake

Marie Beynon Ray? Francis Bacon? Henry David Thoreau? W. Somerset Maugham? Booth Tarkington? Dear Quote Investigator: Our life on Earth does not extend forever. A writer once used two vivid and clashing metaphors to describe this precious moment: Sparkling like a star in our hands and melting like a snowflake This figurative language has been …

People Ask You for Criticism, But They Only Want Praise

W. Somerset Maugham? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Often a request for criticism is really an appeal for approval or accolades. English playwright and novelist W. Somerset Maugham made a similar observation. Would you please help me to find a citation? Quote Investigator: In 1915 W. Somerset Maugham published the popular novel “Of Human Bondage”. The …

If Fifty Million People Say a Foolish Thing, It Is Still a Foolish Thing

Anatole France? Bertrand Russell? W. Somerset Maugham? Oliver Goldsmith? J. A. Schmit? Laurence J. Peter? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Fifty million people may parrot a false or foolish statement, but that will not metamorphose it into a true or sensible remark. Here are two instances in this family of statements: If fifty million people say …

I Have No Doubt You Have a Sufficiently Good Opinion of Yourself To Bear Mine With Equanimity

W. Somerset Maugham? John Colton? Clemence Randolph? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: As a high school student I came across a wonderful zinger spoken to a self-important individual. I cannot recall the exact wording, but it was something like this: I perceive, Sir, you have a sufficiently good opinion of yourself that you can bear mine …

The Pleasure Is Momentary, the Position Is Ridiculous, the Expense Is Damnable

Lord Chesterfield? Hilaire Belloc? D. H. Lawrence? George Bernard Shaw? Alexander Duffield? W. Somerset Maugham? Elliot Paul? Samuel Hopkins Adams? Benjamin Franklin? P. D. James? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Lord Chesterfield reportedly crafted an outrageously humorous description of intimate relations. I’ve seen different versions that each comment on pleasure, position, and expense. Yet, I …

I Only Write When Inspiration Strikes. Fortunately It Strikes at Nine Every Morning

William Faulkner? Peter De Vries? Herman Wouk? W. Somerset Maugham? Jane Yolen? Raymond Chandler? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: As a writer I find the following quotation about motivation both amusing and invigorating: I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning. I have seen these words …

Quotation Is a Serviceable Substitute for Wit

Oscar Wilde? W. Somerset Maugham? George Bernard Shaw? Voltaire? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I thought you might enjoy the following remark attributed to Oscar Wilde: Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit. I saw this on the goodreads website, but the source of the saying was not listed. Further searching led to the following similar …

There Are Three Rules for the Writing of a Novel

W. Somerset Maugham? Oscar Wilde? Mark Twain? Bret Harte? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: With the rapid growth of ebooks it seems that everyone is writing a book. Here is the funniest advice I have heard on this topic: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. Several prominent …

It Is Not Enough to Succeed; One’s Best Friend Must Fail

Gore Vidal? La Rochefoucauld? W. Somerset Maugham? Wilfrid Sheed? Iris Murdoch? David Merrick? Genghis Khan? Larry Ellison? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Competition and jealousy are reflected in a family of closely related cynical sayings: It is not enough to succeed; one’s best friend must fail. It is not enough to succeed; one’s friends must fail. …

None of This Nonsense about Women and Children First

Noël Coward? Winston Churchill? W. Somerset Maugham? Joe Drum? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: After major news events people often start exchanging jokes related to the subject matter. The recent tragic cruise ship accident has caused two versions of a comical anecdote to enter circulation. The punch line has been attributed to the statesman Winston Churchill …

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