There Isn’t Anyone You Couldn’t Love Once You’ve Heard Their Story

Fred Rogers? Mister Rogers? Joanne Rogers? Mary Lou Kownacki? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: One empathetic thinker suggested that it was possible to love almost anyone once one heard their full story. This notion has been attributed to U.S. television host Fred Rogers who was best known by the appellation “Mister Rogers”, but I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in the 1994 book “More Random Acts of Kindness” by the editors of Conari Press of Berkeley, California. This work contained inspirational stories of kindness together with many quotations such as following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1994, More Random Acts of Kindness by The Editors of Conari Press, Quote Page 75, Conari Press, Berkeley, California. (Verified with scans)

Engrave this upon my heart: There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.
—Mary Lou Kownacki, OSB

The “OSB” designation signaled Kownacki’s membership in the Order of St. Benedict, a monastic religious order of the Roman Catholic Church. She is the leading candidate for originator of this expression.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

The book “The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things To Remember” by Fred Rogers appeared in 2003. The foreword was written by Fred’s wife Joanne. She stated that Fred carried around a copy of the quotation under examination, but he was not the originator:^[2] 2003, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things To Remember by Fred Rogers, Section: Foreword by Joanne Rogers, Quote Page 8, Hyperion, New York.(Verified with scans)

A quote he loved especially—and carried around with him—was from Mary Lou Kownacki: “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.” There were many times I wanted to be angry at someone, and Fred would say, “But I wonder what was going on in that person’s day.” His capacity for understanding always amazed me.

Fred Rogers died in February 2003, and in October 2003 “The Atlanta Journal-Constitution” of Georgia published an interview with Joanne Rogers during which she discussed her late husband:^[3]2003 October 22, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Fred Rogers’ words tell how to be a neighbor by Bo Emerson, (Continuation title: Rogers: Book gives golden rules), Start Page 1E, Quote Page 3E, … Continue reading

He was not only a generator of great quotes, but a collector of other people’s sayings. Among the many quotes that he kept folded up in his wallet was a line from a Benedictine nun, Sister Mary Lou Kownacki: “There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.”

“I really try very hard in my life to remember that,” says Joanne Rogers, in a telephone interview from Florida.

Also, in 2003 the compilation “Worth Repeating: More Than 5,000 Classic and Contemporary Quotes” edited by Bob Kelly included this entry with “thy” instead of “my”:^[4]2003, Worth Repeating: More Than 5,000 Classic and Contemporary Quotes, Compiled by Bob Kelly, Topic: Love, Quote Page 217, Kregel Publications: A Division of Kregel, Inc., Grand Rapids, Michigan. … Continue reading

Engrave this upon thy heart: There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.
—Mary Lou Kownacki

In 2005 a columnist in “The Philadelphia Inquirer” printed this:^[5] 2005 August 21, The Philadelphia Inquirer, This way up: Wise words help the mind to expand by Art Carey, Quote Page M2, Column 3, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.
—Mary Lou Kownacki via Fred Rogers

In recent years, the saying has sometimes been directly attributed to Fred Rogers or simply “Mister Rogers”.

In conclusion, Mary Lou Kownacki should receive credit for this quotation based on the 1994 citation. The 2003 book “The World According to Mister Rogers” revealed that Rogers found the quotation valuable, and he shared it with others, but his wife Joanne stated that Kownacki deserved credit.

(Great thanks to Sarah Darer Littman whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.)