Quote Investigator® – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: I’d Like To Pay Tribute To My Four Writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

Fulton J. Sheen? Milton Berle? Bob Hope? Arthur Godfrey?

**A book page displaying the Gospel of John from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A show business anecdote states that a popular religious television show of the 1950s once received a prestigious award. When the host of the show attended the ceremony, he noticed that fellow awardees were acknowledging the writers who were employed to help create their shows. Hence, the host added the following line to his acceptance speech:

I feel it is time I pay tribute to my four writers, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

The host namechecked the writers of the four canonical Gospels. This line has been attributed to Catholic Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, but I have also heard that this scenario was fictional, and the line was crafted by a comedian such as Milton Berle, Bob Hope, or Arthur Godfrey. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Fulton J. Sheen was the host of the show “Life Is Worth Living” from 1952 to 1957. The program was popular, and Sheen won an Emmy for “Most Outstanding Personality” for his efforts in 1952, but the award ceremony was held in February 1953.¹ Further, Sheen did not attend the Emmy event, and the gold statuette was accepted for Sheen by a priest based in Los Angeles.²

QI determined that the joke was circulating before the Emmy ceremony. The earliest match appeared in a column published in the “Fort Lauderdale News” of Florida in July 1952. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:³

Just the other day, Arthur Godfrey was talking about Bishop Sheen and how he appeals to American listeners and viewers. Arthur says this is due to Bishop Sheen’s writers: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, et al.

Hence, based on current evidence, QI believes that this quip originated with the entertainer Arthur Godfrey. Subsequently, comedian Bob Hope used a version of this joke. Also, Fulton J. Sheen employed this joke after it was already in use.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: People Don’t Really Read Your Books; They Only Say They Do To Keep You From Feeling Bad

Mark Twain? C. E. M. Joad? Apocryphal?

**The Librarian by Giuseppe Arcimboldo**

Question for Quote Investigator: New authors often receive lavish praise from friends, acquaintances, and relatives, but the plaudits contain suspiciously few details. A famous writer once said:

People don’t really read your books; they only say they do to keep you from feeling bad.

This statement has been credited to humorist Mark Twain. Is this attribution correct? Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain was a steamboat pilot on the Mississippi River in his twenties. He developed a deep respect for the genius of inventor Robert Fulton who designed the first commercially successful steamboat.

In 1906 Twain received a request to deliver a lecture for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Memorial Association. The request came from General Frederick D. Grant. During their exchange of letters, Twain discussed his strategy for engaging the audience. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:

“Well, that is my idea, as I have said; first excite the audience with a spoonful of information about Fulton, and then quiet them down with a barrel of illustrations drawn by memory from my books—and if you don’t say anything the house will think they never heard it before, because people don’t really read your books; they only say they do to keep you from feeling bad.

Twain’s letter achieved wide circulation when it was printed in major newspapers such as “The New York Times”¹ and “The Chicago Tribune”² in 1906.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Common Sense Is That Which Tells Us the World Is Flat

Albert Einstein? George Bernard Shaw? Stuart Chase? S. I. Hayakawa? Robert Anton Wilson? Minot Judson Savage? Donald Kennedy? Percy Williams Bridgman? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: We are often admonished to use common sense, but a wit once pointed out the drawback of relying on this simple guideline:

Common sense is what tells you the world is flat.

This expression has been attributed to physicist Albert Einstein, playwright George Bernard Shaw, English professor S. I. Hayakawa, economist Stuart Chase, writer Robert Anton Wilson, and others. I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic.

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence supporting the attribution to Albert Enstein who died in 1955. Einstein received credit many years later in 1990.

This notion can be expressed in many ways which makes it hard to trace. Here is an overview with examples, dates, and attributions.

1866: Common sense … led into grave errors. Such doctrines as … the world is flat (Anonymous)

1872: Common sense … convinces us that the world is flat, and that the sun, moon, and stars are our satellites (Anonymous)

1884: Common-sense teaches us, even to-day, that the world is flat (Minot Judson Savage)

1923: Common sense says the world is flat: science says it is spherical (Harry Roberts)

1924: In the Middle Ages people believed that the earth was flat, for which they had at least the evidence of their senses (George Bernard Shaw)

1940: Good common sense makes it plain that the earth is flat and stands still (Edward Kasner and James Newman)

1948: Common sense tells us that the world is flat, that the sun goes around the earth, that heavy bodies always fall faster than light bodies (Stuart Chase)

1949: Common sense … defined … as that which tells you that the world is flat (Attributed to Stuart Chase by S. I. Hayakawa)

1957: Common sense is what tells you the world is flat (Attributed to Stuart Chase by K. C. Ingram)

1962: Common sense as the faculty which tells us the world is flat (Attributed to Stuart Chase by Robert T. Oliver)

1966: Common sense is what tells you the world is flat (Attributed to an anonymous wag by Robert A Golde)

1974: Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat (Principia Discordia)

1979: Common sense also tells us that the world is flat (Donald Kennedy)

1990: Common sense tells us the earth is flat (Attributed to Albert Einstein by Robert Anton Wilson)

1997: Common sense is that which tells us that the world is flat (Attributed to George Bernard Shaw by Adam Przeworski and Fernando Limongi)

1998: Common sense is something that tells us the world is flat (Attributed to Percy Bridgman by Stephen Booth)

2000: Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat (Anonymous)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Best Argument Against Democracy Is a Five-Minute Talk with the Average Voter

Winston Churchill? Michael A. Chary? Katharine Elizabeth Crane? Jay E. House? John Ward Studebaker? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of a ballot box from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The following cynical remark about the electorate has been attributed to British statesman Winston Churchill:

The best argument against Democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

I have never seen a solid citation, and I am skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Churchill quotation expert Richard M. Langworth has found no substantive evidence supporting this attribution. Langworth published the important reference work “Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations” which contained the following analysis of this misquotation:¹

Commonly quoted, but without attribution. Though he sometimes despaired of democracy’s slowness to act for its own preservation, Churchill had a much more positive attitude towards the average voter.

Winston Churchill died in 1965, and the earliest strong match known to QI appeared many years later in August 1992 within a message posted to the Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.comics.misc by Michael A. Chary of Case Western Reserve University. This instance used the word “talk” instead of “conversation”. No source was specified for the quotation. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

“The best argument against democracy is a five minute talk with the average voter.” -Winston Churchill

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: As I Looked Out into the Night Sky, Across All Those Infinite Stars It Made Me Realise How Insignificant They Are

Peter Cook? Russell Brand? George Weiss? Apocryphal?

Photo of a starry sky from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Looking up at the vast star-filled night sky makes many people feel humble. But a humorist flipped this cliché and stated that the myriad stars were insignificant. This notion has been attributed to English comedian Peter Cook and English personality Russell Brand. I have not seen a solid citation; hence, I am skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The awe-struck humbling reaction to viewing the night sky has a long history. For example, in 1878 Professor Garrison of Chicago spoke at the “General Conference of Liberal Thinkers” in London and stated the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

When the telescope was invented we began to see how insignificant we are, and how a little drop of dew is to our globe something like what we know ourselves to be to the universe.

QI hypothesizes that the quip under examination was derived from a comical dialogue broadcast by the BBC in 1993. Peter Cook played a character named Norman House who was interviewed by Clive Anderson. House/Cook made the extraordinary claim that he had been abducted by aliens:²

Clive Anderson: What planet were you on? Was it Mars or Venus?

Norman House: Ikea. They were people who arrived millions of years ago in cardboard boxes and were forced to assemble themselves.

Anderson requested more details about the aliens on planet Ikea:

Clive Anderson: What do they do for food? Do they eat?

Norman House: No, they’ve been on a diet for two million years. They don’t eat. They have no stomachs or mouths, they just have two slit eyes. So it’s a good thing they don’t eat because there’s really nowhere for them to put the food.

Clive Anderson: Has this experience changed you in any way?

Norman House: Yes. An experience like that — in fact, that experience — made me realise how insignificant they were.

Thus, the main punchline delivered by Peter Cook emphasized the insignificance of a group of aliens and not stars. Nevertheless, QI conjectures that a faulty recollection of this skit led to the creation of the quip about “infinite stars”. The science fictional scenario was a natural venue for both aliens and stars.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Most Dangerous Worldview is the Worldview of Those Who Have Not Viewed the World

Alexander von Humboldt? Moritz Goldschmidt? Edward O. Wilson? Phil Cousineau? Martin Kues? Anonymous?

**Map of a fantasy world with dragons and serpents**

Question for Quote Investigator: Often people with a misguided, narrow, or dogmatic view of the world have never fully experienced the world. The following saying functions as a warning:

The most dangerous worldview is the worldview of those who have not viewed the world.

This statement has been attributed to the German naturalist and explorer Alexander von Humboldt. However, I have never seen a solid citation, and I am skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Austrian quotation expert Gerald Krieghofer carefully examined this topic and found no substantive support for the attribution to Alexander von Humboldt who died in 1859. Krieghofer contacted Dr. Ingo Schwarz of the Alexander von Humboldt Research Center at the Berlin-Brandenburg Academy of Sciences and Humanities who also indicated that the quotation was absent from the writings of Humboldt.¹

The earliest match known to QI appeared in 1895 within the “Münchener Kunst- und Theater-Anzeiger” (“Munich Art and Theater Gazette”) which published the following five lines in an article featuring “Sinngedichte” (“Epigrammatic Poems”) by Moritz Goldschmidt. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

Seltsamste Weltanschauungen heute
Schießen wunderbar üppig ins Kraut
Gefährlich allein ist stets die erneute
Furchtbare Weltanschauung der Leute,
Die die Welt nie angeschaut.

Here is one possible English translation:

The strangest worldviews nowadays
Are sprouting up in wild profusion;
The only truly dangerous one is the recurring,
Dreadful worldview of those people
Who have never actually looked at the world.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Everything Is What It Is Because It Got That Way

D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson? Kenneth E. Boulding? John Hospers? Daniel Dennett? William H. Calvin? William Pittenger? Apocryphal?

**Illustration from “On Growth and Form” by D’Arcy Thompson**

Question for Quote Investigator: Scottish biologist D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson often receives credit for the following concise statement about biological structures:

Everything is what it is because it got that way.

Thompson authored the influential 1917 book “On Growth and Form”, but I was unable to find this saying inside that book.¹ Hence, I am skeptical of this attribution.

The economist Kenneth E. Boulding has also received credit for this saying, but I have never seen a precise citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match known to QI appeared in 1968 within a book chapter titled “America’s Economy: The Qualified Uproarious Success” by Kenneth E. Boulding. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

There is a very fundamental principle of nature which states that everything is what it is because it got that way; in other words, we must look at the history of a structure before we can really understand it.

Boulding indicated in his other writings that he had formulated this saying based on his interpretation of the book “On Growth and Form” by D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson. Thus, Boulding deserves credit for the phrase although Thompson inspired him.

Here is an overview presenting dates, attributions, and statements. This overview includes variants based on the template to provide variety:

1871 Aug: Everything is as it is, because it could be no other way. (William Pittenger presented his conception of an atheistic viewpoint)

1903 Jul: Everything is as it is because everything has the will of God as its primary cause. (J. W. Richard presented his conception of the viewpoint of theologian John Calvin)

1909 Oct: Each thing is as it is because it is best for it so to be. (A philosophical viewpoint mentioned by Charles M. Bakewell)

1953: Everything is what it is because of everything that ever happened to it and all the conditions under which it exists. (John Hospers)

1953: At any moment the form of any object, organism, or organization is a result of its laws of growth up to that moment. (Kenneth E. Boulding presented his conception of the viewpoint of D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson)

1960: Everything is what it is at any moment because it got that way by a process of growth. (Kenneth E. Boulding presented his conception of the viewpoint of D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson)

1968: Everything is what it is because it got that way. (Kenneth E. Boulding presented this as a fundamental principle of nature)

1986: Everything is what it is because it got that way. (Attributed to D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson by William H. Calvin)

1987: Everything is what it is because it got that way. (Kenneth E. Boulding claimed this saying was his “own invention” inspired by D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson)

1991: Everything is what it is because it got that way. (Attributed to D’Arcy Wentworth Thompson by Daniel Dennett)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Mathematics Is the Simple Bit. It’s the Stuff We Can Understand. It’s Cats That Are Complicated

John Horton Conway? Mariana Cook? Alexander Masters? Apocryphal?

**Picture of a kitten with a flower from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent mathematician once said something like the following:

Mathematics is simple. Cats are complicated.

Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and the name of the mathematician?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Channel 4 of the BBC broadcast a series titled “What We Still Don’t Know” in December 2004.¹ The third episode was called “Are We Real?”,² and it featured an appearance by English mathematician John Horton Conway of Princeton University who discussed the cellular automaton game he had invented named Conway’s Game of Life. Conway began with a remark comparing mathematics and cats:³

You know, people think that mathematics is complicated. Mathematics is the simple bit. It’s the stuff we can understand. It’s cats that are complicated. I mean, what is it in those little molecules and stuff that make one cat behave differently to another, or that make a cat? I mean, how do you define a cat? I’ve no idea.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Keep a Notebook. Travel with It, Eat with It, Sleep with It

Jack London? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular U.S. novelist provided the following advice to aspiring writers:

Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain.

These words have been attributed to Jack London who authored the novels “White Fang” and “The Call of the Wild”. London also crafted the classic short story “To Build a Fire”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In March 1903 “The Editor: A Journal of Information for Literary Workers” published an article titled “Getting into Print” by Jack London which suggested that authors should maintain a notebook. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than gray matter, and lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.

And work. Spell it in capital letters, WORK. WORK all the time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If You Hear a Voice Within You Say, ‘You Cannot Paint,’ Then Paint All the More, and That Voice Will Be Silenced

Vincent van Gogh? Brenda Ueland? Apocryphal?

**The Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh**

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous painter exhorted aspiring artists with the following encouraging words:

If you hear a voice within you saying: “you are no painter,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

This remark has been credited to Dutch post-impressionist painter Vincent van Gogh. Is this a genuine quotation? Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The Van Gogh Museum of Amsterdam maintains a valuable database of letters which is accessible via the vangoghletters.org website. In October 1883 Vincent van Gogh sent a letter to his brother Theo which contained a version of the quotation in Dutch. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Als iets in U zelf zegt “gij zijt geen schilder” – SCHILDER DAN JUIST kerel, en die stem bedaart ook, maar slechts daardoor. – Wie als hij dat voelt gaat naar vrienden en zijn nood klaagt, verliest iets van zijn mannelijkheid, iets van het beste wat in hem is. – Uw vrienden kunnen slechts zijn dezulken die zelf daartegen vechten, door eigen voorbeeld van actie het active in U opwekken.

Here is one possible translation into English:

If something in you yourself says ‘you aren’t a painter’ — IT’S THEN THAT YOU SHOULD PAINT, old chap, and that voice will be silenced too, but only through the act of painting itself. Anyone who, feeling this, turns to friends to bemoan his plight loses a measure of his manliness — something of the very best within him. Your friends can only be those who are themselves fighting that same battle, awakening the active spirit within you through the example of their own deeds.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.