If You Think Squash Is a Competitive Activity Try Flower Arrangement

Alan Bennett? Maggie Smith? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Sports contests are often highly competitive, but one does not expect to find bitter rivalry and ambition in a genteel craft. Here are two versions of a statement that highlights this incongruity:

(1) If you think squash is a competitive activity try flower arrangement.

(2) If you think squash is a competitive activity try flower-arranging.

Would you please help me to find the origin of this humorous statement and the correct phrasing?

Reply from Quote Investigator: English playwright and screenwriter Alan Bennett authored a group of six monologues for BBC television in 1987. The works were published under the title “Talking Heads” by BBC Books in 1988. The prominent actress Maggie Smith played the role of Susan who was a vicar’s wife for the second monologue titled “Bed Among the Lentils”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1988, Talking Heads by Alan Bennett, Monologue Title: Bed Among the Lentils, Character Susan: Played by Maggie Smith, Quote Page 34, BBC Books, London. (Verified with scans)

I’m even a fool at the flower arrangement. I ought to have a PhD in the subject the number of classes I’ve been to but still my efforts show as much evidence of art as walking sticks in an umbrella stand. Actually it’s temperament. I don’t have it. If you think squash is a competitive activity try flower arrangement.

Additional information about this saying is available in the Quote Investigator article on the Medium website which is available here.