Walt Willis? Zorima? Raymond Duncan’s Wife? Anonymous?
Question for Quote Investigator: The “appeal to nature” argument asserts that something which is natural is good, and something which is unnatural is bad. This style of reasoning has produced the following entertaining statements:
(1) If God wanted us to wear clothes, we would have been born that way
(2) If God intended us to go naked, we would have been born that way
Nudists embrace the first pronouncement, and humorists employ the second pronouncement. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: This family of statements is difficult to trace because the phrasing and the intended meaning are variable. Here is an overview of pertinent remarks with dates
1902 Oct: If God wanted children to wear clothes, children would be born with clothes upon them (Credited to The Cleveland Press)
1910 Feb: If God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way (Attributed to Raymond Duncan’s wife)
1914 Dec: If God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way(Attributed to the leader of a new religion)
1934 Jun: If God had wanted people to go naked, why did He make coats of skin and clothe Adam and Eve as we read in Genesis 3:21? (Christian Girl of Akron, New York)
1934 Jul: If God had intended that we should be clad in the fibers of grasses or the skins of animals he would have provided us with these coverings. We are born nude (The Cavalier columnist)
1941 Aug: I feel that if we had needed clothes, God would have provided them (Zorima, Queen of the Nudists)
1964 May: If God had meant us to be nudists, we’d have been born without clothes (Attributed to Walt Willis)
1969 Jul: If God had intended that man should go naked, he would have been born that way (Anonymous)
1969 Dec: If God had meant for us to run around without any clothes on, we would all have been born naked (Anonymous)
1970 Sep: if God had meant us to walk around without clothes, we would have been born naked (A. D. Coleman)
1979: If God thought that nudity was O.K., we would have been born naked (Ellis’ Eloquence)
1994: If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way (Olum’s Observation)
Below are the details for selected citations in chronological order.
In 1902 a preacher in Cleveland, Ohio argued against vaccination by stating that if God favored the procedure then children would have been born with scars on their arms. The editors of “The Chattanooga News” in Tennessee disagreed, and they reprinted a criticism from another newspaper. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
The Cleveland Press thereupon remarks: “The reverend gentleman meets a common embarrassment in going outside the accepted testimony to tell what God wants. Carried out, his logic would mean that if God wanted children to wear clothes, children would be born with clothes upon them.”
In 1910 “The Moran Herald” of Kansas reported the remarks of a woman who extolled nudity:2
Raymond Duncan’s wife is trying to make us believe that we ought to adorn our bodies after the fashion of a Greek statue, and that if God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way.
She says she expects to see the time when people will perambulate around this mundane sphere garbed in nothing but that provided in the beginning by an all-wise and far-seeing Providence. Under that kind of a system our dressmaking and tailoring bills would be modest, if nothing else would be.
In 1914 “Winfield Daily Courier” of Kansas attributed the 1910 statement to an unnamed new religious leader:3
The leader of a new religion is trying to make us believe that we ought to adorn our bodies after the fashion of a Greek statue, and that if God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way.
In June 1934 the “Buffalo Evening News” of New York published a letter from “Christian Girl of Akron, N.Y.” who was responding to a previous letter that defended nudism:4
In regard to the letter signed “Sensible” in Saturday’s News I can’t help but wonder if there aren’t a lot of Christians who read this paper. If God had wanted people to go naked, why did He make coats of skin and clothe Adam and Eve as we read in Genesis 3:21?
In July 1934 a couple decided to conduct their marriage ceremony in the nude. They were arrested and put on trial. A newspaper columnist named “The Cavalier” of the Richmond, Virginia contended that the arrest was an unjustified intrusion on personal rights:5
If nudity is vulgar, then nature is vulgar. Nature is always nude. If God had intended that we should be clad in the fibers of grasses or the skins of animals he would have provided us with these coverings. We are born nude, and we are the only animal on earth that has clothes and original sin.
In 1941 a proponent of nudism named Zorima was quoted in a Des Moines, Iowa newspaper:6
Zorima, tall, blond “queen of the nudists,” made herself uncomfortable Friday by slipping into a dress and slippers for an interview at the Iowa state fair midway where she’s a feature attraction.
“I feel uncomfortable in clothes, especially on hot days, but I wear them to keep from embarrassing other people. I feel that if we had needed clothes, God would have provided them,” she said.
In 1964 “The Ada Weekly News” of Oklahoma printed a short humorous item which credited Walt Willis. This was the earliest instance that was clearly intended to be comically contradictory:7
If God had meant us to be nudists, we’d have been born without clothes. —Walt Willis
In July 1969 “The Tampa Times” of Florida printed the following instance:8
Our prize for the quip of the week, however, goes to that fellow who expressed mock shock at the rash of nudism and stated: “If God had intended that man should go naked, he would have been born that way.”
In December 1969 “Field & Stream” magazine published the following Q & A:9
Q: It seems to me that with even so-called “decent” women wearing mini-skirts and all the revolting nudity in magazines and on the stage, magazines like yours and sports like fishing are the only hope for our civilization. Don’t you agree?
A: Absolutely. As somebody has pointed out, if God had meant for us to run around without any clothes on, we would all have been born naked.
In 1970 “Popular Photography” published a column by A. D. Coleman about an exhibit in Peterborough, New Hampshire of black-and-white photographs which included erotic images:10
A small handful of the townsfolk were outraged and scandalized by this horrendous display. After all, if God had meant us to walk around without clothes, we would have been born naked, right?
In 1979 John Peers published a compilation titled “1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles” which included the following item:11
Ellis’ Eloquence: . . .
If God thought that nudity was O.K., we would have been born naked.
In 1994 a message posted to the Usenet newsgroup rec.games.roguelike.nethack included an instance:12
Olum’s Observation (and see Martha’s Maxim and Farrow’s Finding): If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.
In conclusion, this family of remarks evolved over time. In 1902 “The Cleveland Press” wrote: “If God wanted children to wear clothes, children would be born with clothes upon them”. But the context indicated that the statement was intended to be an example of faulty logic.
In 1910 a newspaper Moran, Kansas credited Raymond Duncan’s Wife with the statement: “If God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way”. The speaker was advocating naturism.
In 1964 Walt Willis received credit for the comical line: “If God had meant us to be nudists, we’d have been born without clothes”.
Image Notes: Clothesline illustration from “Poco a Poco: An Elementary Direct Method for Learning Spanish” (1922) by Guillermo Hall. The image has been resized, cropped, and retouched.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Ken Olum whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. He pointed out that the saying was sometimes referred to as “Olum’s Observation”.
- 1902 October 25, The Chattanooga News, Untitled article, Quote Page 12, Column 1, Chattanooga, Tennessee. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1910 February 25, The Moran Herald, Things We Think by Elbert Bede, Quote Page 4, Column 3, Moran, Kansas. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1914 December 16, Winfield Daily Courier, Untitled filler item, Quote Page 15, Column 5, Winfield, Kansas. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1934 June 1, Buffalo Evening News, Section: Everybody’s Column, Letter Title: Defense of Nudism Routes Strong Attack by Another, Letter From: Christian Girl of Akron, New York, Quote Page 26, Column 8, Buffalo, New York. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1934 July 12, Richmond Times-Dispatch, As It Appears to The Cavalier, Quote Page 8, Column 4, Richmond, Virginia. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1941 August 22, Des Moines Tribune, Zorima Appears at Fair ‘Queen of Nudists’ ‘Uncomfortable’ in Clothes, Quote Page 7, Column 1, Des Moines, Iowa. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1964 May 28, The Ada Weekly News, Strayed From The Herd by Connie Nelson, Quote Page 4, Column 3, Ada, Oklahoma. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1969 July 28, The Tampa Times, Right Down to the Bare Facts, Quote Page 12A, Column 2, Tampa, Florida. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1969 December, Field & Stream, Volume 74, Number 8, Exit Laughing: Hard Questions Answered Ed Zern, Start Page 144, Quote Page 135, Published by Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1970 September, Popular Photography, Volume 67, Number 3, Shows We’ve Seen by A. D. Coleman, Quote Page 46, Column 1, Ziff-Davis Publishing Company, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1979, 1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Compiled by John Peers, Edited by Gordon Bennett, Quote Page 24, Doubleday & Company, Inc., Garden City, New York. (Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
- Usenet discussion message, Timestamp: July 29, 1994, 2:04:37 AM, Newsgroup: rec.games.roguelike.nethack, From: Eugene Hung @garnet.berkeley.edu, Subject: Elf Ascension. (Google Groups Search; May 22, 2024) link ↩︎