George Carlin? Jeremy Clarkson? Carol Mueller? Larry Tobin? Bill Hall? Cheryl Saban? Ben Rubin? Apocryphal?
Question for Quote Investigator: Electronic devices beep when reporting notifications. Trucks beep when they are backing up. Microwave ovens beep when food is ready. A wit commented on our modern soundscape. Here are three versions:
(1) Everything beeps now.
(2) Now everything goes beep
(3) Everything beeps in this society.
U.S. comedian George Carlin has received credit for this quip, but he is a quotation magnet. Many jokes have been erroneously attributed to him. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: George Carlin did employ this quip in his 2001 book “Napalm & Silly Putty” which included a section called “Short Takes” with the following item. Boldface added to excepts by QI:1
Everything beeps now.
Thus, George Carlin helped to popularize this quip, yet it was already in circulation. For example, in 1984 columnist by Larry Tobin of “The Tomahawk Leader” in Wisconsin wrote the following:2
Remember how it used to be that people made such a big deal over the fear of “things that go bump in the night?” …
Well that must have happened so often with no gruesome result that people finally ignored it. Nothing goes “bump” anymore, so somebody decided to change the format. Now everything goes “BEEP!”
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
In 1988 journalist Bill Hall of the “Lewiston Morning Tribune” in Idaho wrote the following:3
I’m glad the pilot told us the beeping is normal because everything beeps in this society and most of it is bad news. When the line is busy, the telephone beeps.
When your grandfather’s gizzard gives out in the intensive care unit at the hospital, a beeper sounds the alarm.
When you push the wrong key on a personal computer, it beeps at you.
In 1989 columnist Carol Mueller of the “Evanston Review” in Illinois wrote the following:4
In simpler times, say 10 or 20 years ago, the only things that went “beep-beep” were cars, tricycles, and Road Runner cartoons. Now almost everything beeps, from microwave ovens to personal computers.
The phrase has also been used in specialized domains. For example, in 1993 Cheryl Saban published “Miracle Child: Genetic Mother, Surrogate Womb” which included a remark about the cacophony in modern hospitals:5
“Well, you know how it goes,” Lori said. “There’s no peace and quiet in a hospital. Everything beeps, and loudspeakers are constantly calling out for someone. Believe it or not, I’ll get more rest at the hotel.”
In June 1993 “Life” magazine published a photo-essay about baseball which included a section about a specific version of baseball:6
Softball for the blind is called beepball, because everything beeps: Hitters swing at beeping pitches, fielders chase down beeping balls, and runners dive for beeping bases.
In 1997 George Carlin published “Brain Droppings” which included a section titled “People Who Should Be Phased Out” which listed this item:7
People who say, “Knock knock,” when entering a room and, “Beep beep,” when someone is in their path.
George Carlin also expressed irritation with car alarms:8
I’m also sick of car alarms. Not the screeching and beeping; that doesn’t bother me. It’s just the idea of a car alarm that I find offensive. Especially the ones that talk to you: “Move away! Move away!” “Ohhhh? Really!” …
In 2001 George Carlin’s book “Napalm & Silly Putty” contained the following:9
Short Takes …
Everything beeps now.
First there was rock ‘n’ roll, now there’s just rock. What happened to “roll”? And what did Sears do with Roebuck? And exactly when did Montgomery leave Montgomery Ward? …
In 2009 a book for designers titled “Design is: Words, Things, People, Buildings, and Places” printed the following quotation containing the saying:10
Ben Rubin, artist and sound designer:
“It used to be easy to tell what was going on with the machines in our lives by listening to them chuckle, tick, whir, or ting—but no more. Now everything beeps. The elevator, the microwave, the Palm Pilot: beep, beep, beep. Twenty years from now, I would like to see diversity, complexity, and subtlety return to our personal soundscapes through the creative design of new sounds for electronic devices.”
In 2008 “The Sunday Times” of London published a piece by English television personality Jeremy Clarkson which included an instance of the saying:11
… what on earth had been making the infernal noise. It could be anything, because these days everything beeps. Mobile phones beep when they are dying. Microwaves beep when your food is ready. Freezers beep when they get too warm. Cars beep if you don’t put your seatbelt on. Captains beep before they make an in-flight announcement. Airport golf buggies beep when they move …
In conclusion, George Carlin helped to popularize this quip in 2001, but it was already circulating. Finding the earliest instance is difficult because the precise phrasing varies. Currently, newspaper columnist Larry Tobin is the leading candidate for creator because he employed the quip in 1984, but QI conjectures that earlier instances exist.
Image Notes: Speaker icon from presidentofspace at Pixabay. The image has been resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Forest Davis whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.
- 2001 Copyright, Napalm & Silly Putty by George Carlin, Section: Short Takes, Quote Page 56, Hyperion, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1984 May 9, The Tomahawk Leader, Ups-n-Downs by Larry Tobin, Quote Page 2, Column 4, Tomahawk, Wisconsin. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
- 1988 April 20, Lewiston Morning Tribune, Some people weep at an airplane’s beep by Bill Hall (Tribune’s editorial page editor), Quote Page 6A, Column 2, Lewiston, Idaho. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1989 April 20, Evanston Review, Section: Trend – The North Shore Guide to Better Living, With a beep-beep here and a bleep bleep there by Carol Mueller (Lifestyles Editor), Quote Page T9, Column 1, Evanston, Illinois. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1993 Copyright, Miracle Child: Genetic Mother, Surrogate Womb by Cheryl Saban, Chapter 21: A Complicated Birth, Quote Page 227, New Horizon Press, Far Hills, New Jersey. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1993 June, Life, Volume 16, Number 7, The Old Ball Game, Photography by Henry Horenstein, Start Page 45, Quote Page 49, Time Inc., New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1997, Brain Droppings by George Carlin, Section: People Who Should Be Phased Out, Quote Page 3, Hyperion, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1997, Brain Droppings by George Carlin, Section: Seven Things I’m Tired Of, Quote Page 4 and 5, Hyperion, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2001 Copyright, Napalm & Silly Putty by George Carlin, Section: Short Takes, Quote Page 56, Hyperion, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2002 Copyright, Design is: Words, Things, People, Buildings, and Places, Edited by Akiko Busch, Snapshots by David Carson, Designed by Criswell Lappin, Section: Things, Quote Page 71, Metropolis Books, Published by Princeton Architectural Press, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2008 March 2, The Sunday Times, Section: News Review, Bleep off, you’re driving me mad by Jeremy Clarkson, Quote Page 4, Column 5, London, England. (Verified with scans) ↩︎