Quote Origin: Old Age Isn’t So Bad When You Consider the Alternative

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Maurice Chevalier? Olin Miller? Harry Oliver? Louis Calhern? Anonymous?

Illustration of many clocks from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: The following piece of humorous proverbial wisdom has been attributed to the film star Maurice Chevalier. Here are four versions of the joke:

(1) Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
(2) Growing old isn’t so terrible — when you consider the alternative.
(3) Old age is better than the alternative.
(4) Growing old is to some degree preferable to the only alternative.

Would you please explore the provenance of this quip?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is evidence that Maurice Chevalier did deliver this comical line by 1959; however, the quip was already in circulation.

The earliest instance located by QI appeared in February 1949 in “The Index-Journal” of Greenwood, South Carolina. The remark occurred within a column titled “Paragraphically Speaking” by Olin Miller, a popular jokesmith. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

Growing old is to some degree preferable to the only alternative.

This same line appeared in other newspapers in February 1949 including “The Atlanta Journal” of Georgia. The column containing the line was called “Dixie Dew Drops” by Olin Miller.2

A different line appeared in the “Bristol Herald Courier” of Tennessee3 in August 1951 and in “The Bridgeport Telegram” of Connecticut4 in early September 1951. The line appeared as a filler item without attribution:

Growing old isn’t so bad — when one considers the only alternative.

Interestingly, in September 1951 the line also appeared in a newspaper in Paducah, Kentucky. But this time it occurred in Olin Miller’s column titled “Paragraphically Speaking”:5

If the medicos ever learn what causes polio and what will cure it, they will know two things about pollo.

Growing old isn’t so bad—when one considers the only alternative.

Based on these initial citations QI believes that Olin Miller coined both of these early lines. Other individuals such as Louis Calhern and Maurice Chevalier employed the joke after it was already in circulation. The phrasing has varied as the quotation has evolved over the decades.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

In 1952 a columnist printed an instance without an attribution in a Long Beach, California newspaper:6

The situation reminds me of that famous quotation: “Growing old isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”

In March 1953 a newspaper in Ottawa, Kansas printed an instance of the remark without ascription as a short filler item:7

Growing old doesn’t seem quite so bad when you stop to consider the alternative.

In April 1953 a trade journal called “The Locomotive: for Owners and Operators of Boilers and Power Machinery” printed the one-liner on a page devoted to humor:8

Growing old isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

In December 1954 a columnist in the “Los Angeles Times” printed an excerpt from a letter he received from a reader that included an instance of the joke:9

“Growing old isn’t so bad—what if you hadn’t?” — Harry Oliver, 1000 Palms.

In 1955 the joke was placed in a compilation for speechmakers called the “Speaker’s Encyclopedia of Stories, Quotations, and Anecdotes” by Jacob M. Braude. No attribution was given:10

Growing old doesn’t seem so bad when you consider the alternative.

In February 1955 the “Baptist & Reflector” of Nashville, Tennessee printed a version of the joke which assigned the punchline to an “Old Gent”:11

Old Gent: “I’m going to be seventy-four on my next birthday.” Young friend: “How does it feel to be getting way up there?” Old Gent: “Not bad, really — when you consider the alternative.”

In December 1955 the jest was attributed to an actor named Louis Calhern in a filler item published in the “Times-Picayune” of New Orleans, Louisiana:12

“Growing old isn’t so bad,” observes veteran actor Louis Calhern, “when you consider the alternative!”

In May 1959 “The Boston Globe” printed a version of the gag and assigned the words to an archetypal old man:13

There is a story about an old man who was asked if he did not dislike the idea of growing old. “I do,” he said, “until I consider the alternative.”

In August 1959 “The Hartford Courant” newspaper of Connecticut printed a comment by the famous bridge specialist Charles Goren who ascribed the quip to the popular actor Maurice Chevalier:14

The soft-spoken Mr. Goren, who writes a bridge column read all over the world, had hoped to take things easy this year. “I kept thinking of a remark Maurice Chevalier once made when someone asked how it felt to be 71,” said Mr. Goren the other day. “He said, ‘Wonderful, when you consider the alternative.'”

In May 1960 the “Los Angeles Times” reprinted a set of quotations from a reference book called the “Celebrity Register” which contained a large number of short biographies. An instance of the saying was ascribed to the actor Chevalier:15

Maurice Chevalier: “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”

In conclusion, QI believes Olin Miller was the most likely creator of this quip. Miller employed two different phrasings in 1949 and 1951. After a few years the joke was linked to well-known actors of the period. Maurice Chevalier helped to popularize this humorous saying although he did not originate it.

Image Notes: Illustration of many clocks from geralt at Pixabay. The image has been cropped and resized.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks to the anonymous person whose question led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Many thanks to Garry Apgar who found the important citation dated September 1, 1951. Also, thanks to George Thompson who mentioned the version of the joke using the phrase “How does it feel”.

Update History: On January 22, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated. On June 29, 2025, the citations dated February 23, 1949; February 24, 1949; August 28, 1951; September 1, 1951; September 5, 1951; and February 3, 1955 were added to the article. Also, the conclusion was revised.

  1. 1949 February 23, The Index-Journal, Paragraphically Speaking by Olin Miller, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Greenwood, South Carolina. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
  2. 1949 February 24, The Atlanta Journal, Dixie Dew Drops by Olin Miller, Quote Page 19, Column 5, Atlanta, Georgia. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
  3. 1951 August 28, Bristol Herald Courier, (Filler item), Quote Page 4, Column 4, Bristol, Tennessee. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  4. 1951 September 1, The Bridgeport Telegram, (Filler item), Quote Page 12, Column 2, Bridgeport, Connecticut. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  5. 1951 September 5, The Paducah Sun-Democrat, Olin Miller Paragraphically Speaking, Quote Page 6, Column 4, Paducah, Kentucky. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  6. 1952 August 2, Long Beach Press-Telegram, In the Spotlight: Arati Saha Also Can Claim Olympic Mark by Fred Delano, Quote Page B-2, Column 1, Long Beach, California. (NewspaperArchive) ↩︎
  7. 1953 March 20, The Ottawa Campus, (Freestanding comical remark), Quote Page 2, Column 3, Ottawa, Kansas. (NewspaperArchive) ↩︎
  8. 1953 April, The Locomotive: for Owners and Operators of Boilers and Power Machinery, Volume 49, Number 6, Caught in the Separator, Quote Page 143, Hartford Steam Boiler Inspection and Insurance Company, Hartford, Connecticut. (Verified on paper) ↩︎
  9. 1954 December 16, Los Angeles Times, Cityside with Gene Sherman, Quote Page 2, Column 1, Los Angeles, California. (ProQuest) ↩︎
  10. 1955, Speaker’s Encyclopedia of Stories, Quotations, and Anecdotes by Jacob M. Braude, Section: Age, Quote Page 23, Prentice-Hall, Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey. (Verified on paper in third printing dated May 1956) ↩︎
  11. 1955 February 3, Baptist & Reflector, Laughs From Here and There, Quote Page 7, Column 3, Nashville, Tennessee. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
  12. 1955 December 21, Times-Picayune, (Untitled filler item) Quote Page 28, Column 7, New Orleans, Louisiana. (GenealogyBank) ↩︎
  13. 1959 May 21, Boston Globe, The Law Works, Though Slowly by Ralph McGill, Quote Page 36, Column 7, Boston, Massachusetts. (ProQuest) ↩︎
  14. 1959 August 31, The Hartford Courant, Radio and Television: Bridge To Be Televised With Goren Commenting by John Crosby, Quote Page 16, Column 1, Hartford, Connecticut. (ProQuest) ↩︎
  15. 1960 May 15, Los Angeles Times, Meet the most “quotable notables” by Charles D. Rice, (Quotations from the book “Celebrity Register”), Start Page B11, Quote Page B12, Los Angeles, California. (ProQuest) ↩︎