H. L. Mencken? Alistair Cooke? Apocryphal?
Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent journalist once celebrated the display of competence in any discipline from A to Z by saying something like the following:
I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.
The statement has been attributed to the famous curmudgeon H. L. Mencken, but I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: H. L. Mencken did communicate this notion within the preface to his 1943 book titled “Heathen Days 1890-1936”. He used the distinctive phrase “from adultery to zoology”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Indeed, I simply can’t imagine competence as anything save admirable, for it is very rare in this world, and especially in this great Republic, and those who have it in some measure, in any art or craft from adultery to zoology, are the only human beings I can think of who will be worth the oil it will take to fry them in Hell.
The concise version of this statement appeared in the 1999 citation presented further below. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Mencken’s book was examined in the pages of the “The New York Times Book Review” in February 1943, and the entire passage above was reprinted. Thus, the quotation achieved further distribution.2
Mencken’s book was also reviewed in “The Courier-Journal” of Louisville, Kentucky in March 1943, and part of the passage was reprinted:3
In his preface, Mencken remarks on the rarity of competence, concluding that “those who have it in some measure, in any art from adultery to zoology, are the only human beings I can think of who will be worth the oil it will take to fry them in Hell.” On that basis, the Mencken has earned his oil.
In 1987 “The Portable Curmudgeon” compiled by Jon Winokur reprinted the passage and credited H. L. Mencken.4
In 1999 British journalist and television host Alistair Cooke published “Memories of the Great & the Good”. Cooke included a more concise version of the quotation:5
One time, years ago, the veteran Baltimore newspaperman, H. L. Mencken, was checking copy coming in from the night editor and sighing at the rising number of errors he was noticing, errors of fact but also of syntax, and even some idioms that didn’t sound quite right.
He shook his head and said, as much to himself as to the editor at his side: “The older I get the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.”
Mencken died in 1956, and QI does not know Cooke’s source for the above version of the quotation. It is possible that Mencken expressed the same notion more than once, and he may have used a different phrasing.
In November 1999 syndicated columnist George F. Will printed an instance that matched the version in Cooke’s book:6
Microsoft’s 10-thumbed efforts at self-defense, including its lobbying to cut the funding of the Justice Department’s antitrust division, puts one in mind of H.L. Mencken: “The older I get the more I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.”
In 2008 “Great Quotations That Shaped the Western World” contained an entry crediting Mencken with the version in Cooke’s book.7
In 2024 classical music critic Dave Hurwitz attributed another version to Mencken:8
Remember H. L. Mencken’s famous phrase, you know, “All I desire is competence in anything from adultery to zoology”.
In summary, H. L. Mencken deserves credit for the passage he wrote in “Heathen Days 1890-1936” in 1943. Mencken did use the phrase “from adultery to zoology”, but the quotation was lengthy. A short version attributed to Mencken appeared in a 1999 book by Alistair Cooke, but its source was uncertain.
Image Notes: Picture of wood type used in letterpress printing from Amador Loureiro at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Trevor Pokrentowski whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Pokrentowski heard the instance in the 2024 YouTube video.
- 1943, Heathen Days 1890-1936 by H. L. Mencken, Section: Preface, Quote Page viii, Alfred a. Knopf, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1943 February 28, The New York Times, Section: The New York Times Book Review, Mr. Mencken’s Memoirs: Part III by Carl Van Doren, (Book Review of H. L. Mencken’s “Heathen Days 1890-1936”), Quote Page BR4, Column 4 and 5, New York. (ProQuest) ↩︎
- 1943 March 7, The Courier-Journal, Mencken the Debunker Is Still In the Groove: A Review by Jeff Wylie, (Book Review of H. L. Mencken’s “Heathen Days 1890-1936”), Section 3, Quote Page 8, Column 5, Louisville, Kentucky. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1987, The Portable Curmudgeon, Compiled and edited by Jon Winokur, Section: Mencken’s America, Quote Page 27, New American Library, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1999, Memories of the Great & the Good by Alistair Cooke, Chapter 19: George Abbott (1995), Quote Page 209, Arcade Publishing, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1999 November 9, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, A clumsy, heavy hand by George F. Will, Quote Page A-13, Column 4, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 2008, Great Quotations That Shaped the Western World, Compiled by Carl H. Middleton, Section: H. L. (Henry Louis) Mencken 1880-1956, Quote Page 478, Paragon House, St. Paul, Minnesota. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- YouTube video, Title: The Legend of John Williams
Lives Up To Its Title, Uploaded on April 1, 2024, Uploaded by: The Ultimate
Classical Music Guide by Dave Hurwitz, (Quotation
starts 9 minutes 1 second of 12 minutes 13 seconds) (Accessed on youtube.com on April 15, 2024)
link ↩︎