Quip Origin: There Are More Horses’ Asses Than Horses

Will Rogers? Jack Kerouac? Joseph Gurney Cannon? G. Gordon Liddy? Anonymous?

Picture of two horses in Iceland from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Each horse has exactly one posterior, and this fact produces a confounding paradox. Why are there more horses’ asses than horses?

This wordplay quip has been attributed to humorist Will Rogers, novelist Jack Kerouac, politician Joseph Cannon, Watergate conspirator G. Gordon Liddy, and others. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1931 within the Chicago, Illinois sporting periodical “Collyer’s Eye and The Baseball World” . The joke was attributed to Joseph Gurney Cannon who served in the U.S. Congress for decades and became a powerful Speaker of the House. He died in 1926. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1

… Old “Uncle Joe” Cannon’s saying, that peculiar as it may seem, “there are more horses asses in the world than horses.”

QI has not yet found any direct evidence that Cannon employed this quip although he is the leading candidate. The ascription to Will Rogers has no substantive support. Jack Kerouac did use the quip after it was already in circulation.

QI hypothesizes that the joke evolved from an earlier gag comparing the number of asses and horses.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

In 1825 the “Westchester Herald” of New York printed a precursor joke. The word “certain” was presented using the vernacular spelling “sartain”:2

There’s a great many people in this world, that’s sartain—but there are more asses than horses

In 1893 “The Advocate and Topeka Tribune” of Kansas printed a precursor joke:3

It is becoming more apparent every day as the play goes on that the republican party has more asses than horses in the ring.

In 1894 the “Tulare Daily Register” of California printed an elaborate precursor joke:4

Society people in San Francisco are going to have a circus this week and it is expected that it will be a very important event. This will not, however, be the first circus which has taken place in San Francisco society but it is given out that there will be more horses than asses in this circus, whereas they have had more asses than horses in their society circuses heretofore.

In 1931 the quip under examination was attributed to Joseph Gurney Cannon as mentioned previously:5

… Old “Uncle Joe” Cannon’s saying, that peculiar as it may seem, “there are more horses asses in the world than horses.”

In 1941 the precursor joke continued to circulate. Esquire magazine printed the following:6

… we are betraying no confidence when we tell you that there are more asses than horses in the horsy set.

In 1952 Maurice Zolotow published a chapter about a horse track denizen with the moniker Feedbox Jack:7

Feedbox’s three favorite aphorisms are: “The only way to beat the horses is with a whip”; “There are more phonies than ponies in racing”; and “There are more horses’ asses than horses at a track.”

In 1958 Jack Kerouac published “The Dharma Bums” which included descriptions of hitchhiking around the United States.  During one episode Kerouac was given a ride by a logger named Ernest Petersen who reminisced about his father:8

He said, “My father was a great man, his saying was ‘There are more horses’ asses than horses in this world.’”. He was a mad sports fan and timed outdoor track meets with a stopwatch …

In 1969 a newspaper in San Rafael, California printed a book review containing a complaint about the U.S. film industry:9

No one seems to exist in the higher echelons who does not demonstrate once more why there are so many more horse’s asses than there are horses.

In 1978 Paul Dickson published a collection of sayings under the title “The Official Rules”. The book included a variant using the phrase “horses’ backsides”:10

Tishbein’s Law. There are more horses’ backsides in the military service of the United States than there are horses. (U. Robert J. Clark of Southampton, N.Y., learned this as a plebe at West Point and passed it along to AO.)

In 1979 John Peers published “1,001 Logical Laws” which included the following:11

Grandma Soderquist’s Conclusion:
There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.

Also, in 1979 “The Book of Quotes” compiled by Barbara Rowes included this entry:12

Why is it there are so many more horses’ asses than there are horses?
—G. Gordon Liddy

In 1997 “More Wit” compiled by Des MacHale contained this entry:13

God in his bounty and generosity always creates more horses’ asses than there are horses to attach to them.
Thomas Perry

In 2000 a newspaper in  Corvallis, Oregon printed a letter which implausibly credited Will Rogers:14

The big time A.H. word flap recalls Will Rogers’ observation concerning the H.A. word: “When the Good Lord created the world, He created far more horses’ asses than horses.”

In conclusion, the earliest match located by QI appeared in 1931 with an attribution to Joseph Gurney Cannon who is the leading candidate for creator although QI has not yet found direct evidence that he used the expression before his death in 1926. Thus, it is also reasonable to designate the author anonymous.

Image Notes: Picture of two horses in Iceland from Genevieve Perron-Migneron at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Thomas Horrell whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Also, thanks to “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” compiled by Charles Clay Doyle et al which included an entry for this saying  with citations beginning in 1957.

  1. 1931 September 26, Collyer’s Eye and The Baseball World, Naming of Fitz Gerald As Steward Boost for Fair Grounds Meeting by Walter H. Pearce (Formerly Sec’y Ky. Jockey Club), Quote Page 6, Column 3 and 4, Chicago, Illinois. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
  2. 1825 June 28, Westchester Herald, Uncle Ichabod’s Water Wagon Voyage to ’York, Quote Page 4, Column 1, Mount Pleasant, New York. (GenealogyBank) ↩︎
  3. 1893 October 25, The Advocate and Topeka Tribune, Douglas Says It Was Horse-Play, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Topeka, Kansas. (GenealogyBank) ↩︎
  4. 1894 May 23, Tulare Daily Register, Topics of the Times, Quote Page 2, Column 1, Tulare, California. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  5. 1931 September 26, Collyer’s Eye and The Baseball World, Naming of Fitz Gerald As Steward Boost for Fair Grounds Meeting by Walter H. Pearce (Formerly Sec’y Ky. Jockey Club), Quote Page 6, Column 3 and 4, Chicago, Illinois. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
  6. 1941 March, Esquire, Mob Rules In Sports by Bob Considine, Start Page 33, Quote Page 33, Column 1, Esquire inc., Chicago, Illinois. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  7. 1952 Copyright, It Takes All Kinds by Maurice Zolotow, Chapter 7: Feedbox Jack: The World Is a Sucker, Quote Page 163, Random House, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  8. 1959 (1958 Copyright), The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac, Chapter 31, Quote Page 172, A Signet Book: The New American Library, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  9. 1969 May 3, Daily Independent Journal, Reviews of New Reading: Why U.S. Motion Pictures Are On Their ‘Last Legs’, Quote Page M14, Column 5, San Rafael, California. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
  10. 1978, The Official Rules by Paul Dickson, Quote Page 175, Delacorte Press, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  11. 1979, 1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Compiled by John Peers, Edited by Gordon Bennett, Quote Page 111, Doubleday & Company, Inc., Garden City, New York. (Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
  12. 1979, The Book of Quotes, Compiled by Barbara Rowes, Chapter 16: Watergate, Quote Page 153, A Sunrise Book: E. P. Dutton, New York. (Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
  13. 1997, More Wit, Compiled by Des MacHale, Chapter: Social Behaviour and Manners, Quote Page 214, PRION, London. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
  14. 2000 September 27, Corvallis Gazette-Times, Section: Letters To the Editor, Letter Title: We can handle these words, Letter From: Robert Souders of Corvallis, Quote Page A11, Column 3, Corvallis, Oregon. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
Exit mobile version