Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Thomas Love Peacock? Algernon Falconer? Richard Porson?
Question for Quote Investigator: The complexities of the German language inspired the following comical statement:
Life is too short to learn German.
This statement has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain, Irish playwright Oscar Wilde, English satirist Thomas Love Peacock, and English classical scholar Richard Porson. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the satirical novel “Gryll Grange” by Thomas Love Peacock. The work was serialized in “Fraser’s Magazine”1 of London in 1860 and published as a book in 1861.
A fictional character named Algernon Falconer uttered the statement while he was discussing his library which centered on books in English, Greek, Latin, Italian, and French, but not German. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:2
It was a dictum of Porson, that “Life is too short to learn German:” meaning, I apprehend, not that it is too difficult to be acquired within the ordinary space of life, but that there is nothing in it to compensate for the portion of life bestowed on its acquirement, however little that may be.
Richard Porson was a scholar at the University of Cambridge who was acclaimed for his knowledge of Greek. He was born in 1759 and died in 1808. QI has found no substantive evidence that Porson authored the statement under analysis. QI conjectures that Thomas Love Peacock crafted the quip and assigned it to Porson to accentuate its humor. Alternatively, Peacock was simply repeating a pre-existing joke.
QI believes that the attributions to Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain are unsupported although germane quotations from Twain are listed further below.
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Richard Porson valued the work of German classical scholars enough that he visited them while touring the continent. The 1825 book “Facetiae Cantabrigienses: Consisting of Anecdotes, Smart Sayings, Satirics, Retorts, &c” included a humorous four line verse:3
Soon after the late Professor Porson returned from a visit to the Continent, at a party where he happened to be present, a gentleman solicited a sketch of his journey. Porson immediately gave the following extemporaneous one:—
“I went to Frankfort and got drunk
With that most learned professor, Brunck;
I went to Worts and got more drunken
With that more learned professor. Ruhnken.”
In 1860 and 1861 Thomas Love Peacock published the novel “Gryll Grange” which contained the quotation as noted previously.
QI has found no substantive evidence that Mark Twain used the quotation. Yet, Twain did write about the German language on multiple occasions. For example, in 1878 Twain penned the following thematically related observation in one of his notebooks:4
Never knew before what Eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
In 1880 Mark Twain published the humorous essay “The Awful German Language” as appendix D of “A Tramp Abroad”. Twain discussed the difficulties he experienced while learning German:5
A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a perplexing language it is.
In 1889 “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” by Mark Twain included the following comment:6
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
In 1911 Carl Van Doren published a biography “The Life of Thomas Love Peacock” which mentioned the quotation:7
So far as German was concerned, Peacock’s knowledge was practically nothing. He had no difficulty in agreeing with Porson’s dictum, that “Life is too short to learn German,” a dictum cited approvingly by Mr. Falconer …
In 1924 “Benham’s Book Of Quotations Proverbs and Household Worlds” edited by W. Gurney Benham included an entry for the quotation. Benham did not provide any direct evidence that Richard Porson used the expression; instead, an excerpt from Peacock’s novel was presented. Also, the quotation was listed under Peacock and not Porson:8
It was a dictum of Porson, that “Life is too short to learn German”; meaning, I apprehend, not that it is too difficult to be acquired within the ordinary space of life, but that there is nothing in it to compensate for the portion of life bestowed on its acquirement. Gryll Grange, ch. 3.
In 1942 “A New Dictionary of Quotations on Historical Principles from Ancient and Modern Sources” edited by H. L. Mencken included this brief entry:9
Life is too short to learn German.
Ascribed to RICHARD PORSON (1759-1808)
In 1949 the quotation appeared in “The Home Book of Quotations” edited by Burton Stevenson. The except from Peacock’s book “Gryll Grange” was printed, and no direct citation for Porson was given.10
In 1952 “FPA Book of Quotations” edited by Franklin Pierce Adams contained this entry:11
Life is too short to learn German.
—RICHARD PORSON (1759-1808), attr.
In 1957 Carl Kern published the humor book “Mangled Saxon”. Kern implausibly credited the quip to Mark Twain who died in 1910. This was the earliest linkage to Twain located by QI:12
It is true that many German words look like English; they look like English, that is, which has been starched up with capitals, and pips over the vowels, in typical Teutonic formality. The language, however, is something more complicated than it appears. “Life,” said Mark Twain, “is too short to learn German.” For one thing, those words that resemble English only look that way. If they didn’t, this book would have been impossible. But German is impossible, hence this book.
In 1969 “Quotations for Speakers and Writers” edited by Allen Andrews ascribed the quotation to Peacock:13
Life is too short to learn German.
THOMAS LOVE PEACOCK 1785-1866
In 2002 a message in the Usenet newsgroup alt.windows98 implausibly credited Oscar Wilde who died in 1900. This was the earliest linkage to Wilde located by QI:14
“Life’s too short to learn German” Oscar Wilde 😀
In 2014 “The Oregonian” of Portland, Oregon printed a collection of sayings attributed to Wilde:15
… we’ve collected some of our favorite Oscar Wilde quotes …
“Life is too short to learn German.”
In conclusion, the earliest match known to QI appeared in 1860 within satirist Thomas Love Peacock’s work “Gryll Grange”. The fictional character Algernon Falconer ascribed the saying to Cambridge scholar Richard Porson. QI hypothesizes that Peacock crafted the phrase and attributed it to Porson to heighten the humor. Yet, it remains possible that Peacock was repeating a joke that was already in circulation. Porson died in 1808, and QI has found no matches before 1860.
Image Notes: Picture of an open book with three roses from congerdesign at Pixabay. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Luke Soucy whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Soucy pointed out that the statement had been attributed to Richard Porson, Mark Twain, and Oscar Wilde. Soucy also pointed to Twain’s essay about “The Awful German Language”. Many thanks to Laurence Horn who told QI about the illuminating Twain citations dated 1878, 1880, and 1889.
Update History: On November 25, 2024 the citations dated 1878, 1880, and 1889 were added to the article.
- 1860 April, Fraser’s Magazine, Gryll Grange by Thomas Love Peacock, Chapter 3, Quote Page 455, Column 2, John W. Parker and Son, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1861, Gryll Grange by Thomas Love Peacock, Chapter 3: The Duke’s Folly, Quote Page 21, Parker, Son, and Bourn, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1825, Facetiae Cantabrigienses: Consisting of Anecdotes, Smart Sayings, Satirics, Retorts, &c By or Related To Celebrated Cantabs by Socius, Porson’s Visit To the Continent, Quote Page 3, Printed for William Cole, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1975, Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Volume II (1877-1883), Edited by Frederick Anderson, Lin Salamo and Bernard L. Stein, Chapter XV: “A New and Better Plan for the Book”, Date: July-August 1878, Quote Page 121, University of California Press, Berkeley, California. (Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
- 1880, A Tramp Abroad by Mark Twain, Appendix D: The Awful German Language, Start Page 601, Quote Page 601, End Page 619, American Publishing Company, Hartford, Connecticut. (Google Books Ful View) link ↩︎
- 1889 Copyright, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain, Chapter 22: The Holy Fountain, Quote Page 195, Harper & Brothers Publishers, New York. (HathiTrust Full View) link ↩︎
- 1911, The Life of Thomas Love Peacock by Carl Van Doren, Chapter 1: Birth — Education, Quote Page 23, E. P. Dutton & Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1924, Benham’s Book Of Quotations Proverbs and Household Worlds, Edited by W. Gurney Benham, Entry: Thomas Love Peacock (1785-1866), Quote Page 241b, Ward, Lock & Company, London. (Internet Archive Full View) link ↩︎
- 1942, A New Dictionary of Quotations on Historical Principles from Ancient and Modern Sources, Selected and Edited by H. L. Mencken (Henry Louis Mencken), Section: German Language, Quote Page 454, Alfred A. Knopf. New York. Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
- 1949, The Home Book of Quotations: Classical and Modern, Selected by Burton Stevenson, Sixth Edition, Topic: Germany, Quote Page 769, Dodd, Mead and Company, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1952, FPA Book of Quotations, Selected by Franklin Pierce Adams, Section: Germany, Quote Page 379, Funk & Wagnalls Company, New York. (Verified on paper) ↩︎
- 1957 Copyright, Mangled Saxon: Gathered for Löwenbräu by Carl Kern, Chapter: Introduction, Quote Page 1, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1969, Quotations for Speakers and Writers , Compiled by Allen Andrews, Topic: Linguist, Quote Page 258, Column 1, Newnes Books, London and New York, (Verified with hardcopy) ↩︎
- Usenet discussion message, Timestamp: May 1, 2002, 7:55:08 AM, Newsgroup: alt.windows98, From: Shep© sh…@gmx.co.uk, Subject: On board sound, No joy. (Google Groups Search; Accessed November 23, 2024) link ↩︎
- 2014 October 15, The Oregonian, The Edge: And the Oscar Goes To, Quote Page D8, Column 4, Portland, Oregon. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎