Catherine Deneuve? Kathleen Turner? Francoise de la Renta? Carolina Herrera? Ida Jean Kain? Erma Bombeck? Elizabeth Taylor? Meryl Streep? Anonymous?
Question for Quote Investigator: It is common for an individual to gain weight while growing older. Yet, dieting to maintain a slim body can inadvertently produce a face that looks angular or gaunt. Here are three statements which reflect this viewpoint:
(1) When you arrive at a certain age you must choose between your face and your figure.
(2) After 35 you must choose between your face and your behind.
(3) There comes a time when you choose between your face and your ass.
This saying has been attributed to fashion designer Carolina Herrera, French actress Catherine Deneuve, magazine editor Françoise de la Renta, actress Kathleen Turner, fitness columnist Ida Jean Kain, humorist Erma Bombeck and others. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Tracing this family of sayings is difficult because of the wide variety of expressions. Here is an overview listing attributions and dates. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:
1929 Oct 10: She had to choose between keeping her face and her figure (Written by newspaper columnist M. B.)
1952 Apr14: It’s just not true that when a woman arrives at the interesting age of 40 she must choose between her face and her figure (Written by health and fitness columnist Ida Jean Kain)
1973 Oct 24: When you’re past 35, you have to choose between your face and your behind (A French saying according to columnist Phyllis Singer)
1973 Nov 25: When you’re past 35, you have to choose between your face or your behind (A French saying according to designer Francoise de la Renta)
1987: She has to make a choice between her fanny and her face (Written by actress Elizabeth Taylor)
1987 Apr 23: At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your behind (Direct quotation from fashion designer Carolina Herrera)
1987 Jul 23: At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your behind (Credited to an unnamed leading fashion designer by humor columnist Erma Bombeck)
1993 Aug 17: After she reached a certain age, she had to choose between her face and her bottom (Credited to French actress Catherine Deneuve by food writer Josceline Dimbleby)
1993 Sep 5: There comes a time when you choose between your face and your ass (Credited to Catherine Deneuve by U.S. actress Kathleen Turner)
2004 Nov 13: After a certain age you can have your face or you can have your ass, it’s one or the other (Credited to Catherine Deneuve by U.S. actress Meryl Streep)
Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.
In 1929, “The Spokesman-Review” of Spokane, Washington published a column about the popular entertainer Sophie Tucker by a writer who was only identified with the initials M. B. The columnist highlighted Tucker’s full figure. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
. . . Miss Tucker does not look so old. Apparently she had to choose between keeping her face and her figure and she decided in favor of face, for it is wrinkleless in chin accumulation.
I never saw Sophie Tucker, or her picture, before, but in her avoirdupois she is a burst of good nature that is good for anybody.
In 1952, health and fitness columnist Ida Jean Kain published an article about diet and aging. Kain advocated maintaining a normal weight and well-toned muscles. The ellipsis occurred in the original text:2
Surprising how many women cling to the notion that reducing will make them look years older! And yet it’s just not true that when a woman arrives at the interesting age of 40 she must choose between her face and her figure . . . and either settle for the middle spread or appear hollow-eyed with “that diet look.”
It is true that some women determinedly hang onto an ultra-streamlined figure and let their faces grimly show the strain, while other women let their figures grow plump, then portly, rationalizing that added weight helps keep their faces younger.
In October 1973, columnist Phyllis Singer of Waterloo, Iowa presented an anonymous French saying which used the word “behind” instead of “figure”:3
It’s here in America that we seem to go overboard on the skinny bit. It’s not necessarily true in Europe.
There’s a saying in French, “When you’re past 35, you have to choose between your face and your behind.” It’s your choice.
In November 1973, fashion magazine editor Francoise de la Renta employed the anonymous saying:4
As Ms. de la Renta sees it, if a woman gets too skinny, she looks “downright ugly.” “Roundness is attractive whatever a woman’s age and more so once she reaches a certain age. One can still be thin, as some women are meant to be, and curvaceous at the same time.
“It’s here in America that women go overboard on the skinny bit. But not in Europe,” she points out.
“There’s a saying in French: ‘When you’re past 35, you have to choose between your face or your behind.’ And we choose the face.”
In 1987 U.S. actress Elizabeth Taylor published “Elizabeth Takes Off: On Weight Gain, Weight Loss, Self-Image, and Self-Esteem” which included the following passage:5
They say that not only is it harder for a woman of a certain age to lose weight, but that also she has to make a choice between her fanny and her face. In that respect I’m fortunate, my face looks better thin and I was able to take off weight without appearing gaunt.
In April 1987 Venezuelan fashion designer Carolina Herrera employed the saying:6
“I don’t agree with this thin, thin, thin,” she declares. “I don’t like anything fake — fake eyelashes, fake flowers. At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your behind. At a certain age, it doesn’t matter if you’re a little heavy because your face looks good.
In July 1986 widely syndicated humorist Erma Bombeck credited the saying to a “leading fashion designer”:7
One-third of the world is on a diet. Another third just fell off a diet. And the remaining third is going on one next Monday.
As a leading fashion designer said recently, “At a certain age, you have to choose between your face and your behind.” The day I turned around and thought someone was following me and it was me … I knew what my choice was.
In August 1993 “The Daily Telegraph” of London printed a remark from a food writer Josceline Dimbleby who credited the saying to French actress Catherine Deneuve:8
“I am certainly fatter than I was, but it has happened almost on purpose. About three or four years ago, I looked in the mirror and suddenly felt I looked a bit too thin. You have to accept that you will not have such a complete young girl shape.
Catherine Deneuve, I think, said that, after she reached a certain age, she had to choose between her face and her bottom, and she very wisely chose her face.
In September 1993 U.S. actress Kathleen Turner attributed the saying to Catherine Deneuve:9
She responds realistically, invoking a role model named Catherine Deneuve:
“She says ‘There comes a time when you choose between your face and your ass,’ meaning I think that, if you’re going to keep the body you had in your 20s, you know, then you’re much too thin and drawn-looking in the face. She chose her face, and her face is absolutely beautiful, but her ass is big. I don’t have to choose yet, but it will come.”
Also, in September 1993 the “Anchorage Daily News” printed an interview with Kathleen Turner in which the saying was re-interpreted as a statement about plastic surgery instead of dieting:10
She sighed, with mock despair, that she had just read an article in which Catherine Deneuve, the French actress famed for her mature, beauty commented that “sooner or later, you have to choose between your face and your rear end. You can have one or the other lifted, but not both.”
So, which would Kathleen Turner choose?
“I haven’t had to choose yet, love. I’m not old enough. I’m not 40 yet. Almost, though, I’m 39.”
In 2004, U.S. actress Meryl Streep was complimented by a journalist. Streep responded by presenting the saying which she credited to Catherine Deneuve:11
At 55, she still hardly looks ready for old lady roles. She still looks good. “Bless you, but you’re sitting far away,” she says. “I remember what Catherine Deneuve always said, ‘After a certain age you can have your face or you can have your ass, it’s one or the other’. I’ve chosen my face, and I’ll sit on the rest of it. My laurels, I mean.”
QI has examined the following thematically related quotation in the this article. This statement was spoken by actress Sophia Bush:
Life is too short and I’m Italian. I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size 0.
In conclusion, QI believes that this family of sayings has an anonymous origin. The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1929 within a Spokane, Washington newspaper. The columnist was only identified by the M. B. initials. Many years later in 1952, the columnist Ida Jean Kain used the saying without attribution. By 1973 the saying was circulating as an anonymous French saying. Several prominent individuals have used the saying while disclaiming credit.
Image Notes: Silhouettes of two people at sunset from Marc Clinton Labiano at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Marissa Skudlarek whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Skudlarek mentioned the attribution to Catherine Deneuve. Thanks to MI-Forest who told QI about the face/fanny variant which has been attributed to Zsa Zsa Gabor. IN response QI found the 1987 instance employed by Elizabeth Taylor.
Update History: On April 27, 2025 the citation for the 1987 book by Elizabeth Taylor was added to the article.
- 1929 October 10, The Spokesman-Review, Sophie Tucker Fat and Happy by M. B., Quote Page 7, Column 2, Spokane, Washington. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1952 April 14, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Women Of 40 Can Keep Slim Yet Avoid “That Diet Look” By This Happy Compromise by Ida Jean Kain, Quote Page 9, Column 6, Cincinnati, Ohio. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1973 October 24, Waterloo Courier, Some Good News Today by Phyllis Singer, Quote Page 13, Column 2, Waterloo, Iowa. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1973 November 25, Detroit Free Press, Some Women Cut the Battle of the Bulge Too Thin by Anela Cuccio (A W Special), Quote Page 11C, Column 7 and 8, Detroit, Michigan. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1987, Elizabeth Takes Off: On Weight Gain, Weight Loss, Self-Image, and Self-Esteem by Elizabeth Taylor, Section: Prologue, Quote Page 19, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1987 April 23, The Baltimore Sun, People in Style: The Proper Princess by Jane F. Lane (Fairchild Publications), Quote Page 2C, Column 6, Baltimore, Maryland. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1987 July 23, The Camarillo Daily News, PTL, hearings go on, but dieting dominates our lives by Erma Bombeck (Syndicated columnist), Quote Page C7, Column 1, Camarillo, California. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1993 August 17, The Daily Telegraph, ‘You have to accept you will not have a young girl shape’, Quotation from Josceline Dimbleby (Food writer), Quote Page 11, Column 5, London, England. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1993 September 5, Chicago Tribune, Head Turner by Michael Kilian, Section 6, Quote Page 4, Column 5, Chicago, Illinois. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1993 September 15, Anchorage Daily News, Leading Lady by Mal Vincent (Landmark News Service), Section: The Express Line, Quote Page 1A, Column 4, Anchorage, Alaska. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 2004 November 13, The Northern Echo, The power of mother love by Steve Pratt, Quote Page 10, Column 5, Darlington, Durham, England. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎