Rudyard Kipling? Friedrich Nietzsche? Arthur Gordon? Anonymous?
Question for Quote Investigator: The peer group exerts enormous pressure on the individual. Achieving and maintaining an independent viewpoint is arduous. An influential thinker stated the following:
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
The thinker believed that pursuing a personal path was worthwhile and said this:
No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
These statements have been attributed to the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche and the English author Rudyard Kipling. I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Rudyard Kipling died in 1936. In July 1959 “Reader’s Digest” magazine published an article by journalist Arthur Gordon titled “Interview With an Immortal”. Gordon stated that he interviewed Kipling at his home in June 1935. Gordon presented a quotation from Kipling about maintaining one’s identity. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Looking back, I think he knew that in my innocence I was eager to love everything and please everybody, and he was trying to warn me not to lose my own identity in the process. Time after time he came back to this theme.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
The accuracy of this quotation is dependent on Arthur Gordon’s veracity. Gordon became a respected editor who worked at “Good Housekeeping” and “Cosmopolitan” magazines. Gordon also authored fourteen books, and contributed pieces to “Reader’s Digest”, “Esquire”, “Collier’s”, “Saturday Evening Post”, and other periodicals.2
QI has found no substantive support for the attribution to Friedrich Nietzsche who died in 1900. Nietzsche implausibly received credit in 1996.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
In December 1959 the “Elwood Call-Leader” of Indiana printed the following item in the top left corner of its front page:3
Today’s Thought
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
Rudyard Kipling.
In June 1967 “The Kipling Journal” of the Kipling Society reprinted the piece by Arthur Gordon while acknowledging the “Reader’s Digest”.4 Thus, the quotation under examination achieved further distribution.
Also, in 1967 T. Cecil Myers published “When Crisis Comes: Overcoming the Continuing Stresses of Life” which included the following:5
Rudyard Kipling summed up the problem of conformity in an interview with Arthur Gordon: “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
We are being called a “faceless generation,” a generation of “middlebrows.” The pressure is on to conform to the crowd.
In 1979 the “Suffolk Free Press” of England printed a letter from a correspondent in Sudbury:6
May I commend the following quotation from the works of the immortal Rudyard Kipling …
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll be lonely often and sometimes frightened, but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
If more people lived by these words this once proud country could once again take its rightful place in the world, right at the top.
In 1983 the collection “Kipling: Interviews and Recollections” edited by Harold Orel appeared. The book reprinted the article by Arthur Gordon while acknowledging “The Kipling Journal”.7 Thus, the quotation continued to be propagated.
In 1994 Bernard Schneider posted the following inquiry to the Usenet newsgroup alt.quotations. The word “privilege” was misspelled:8
I’m wondering if anyone can confirm the source of the following:
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the priviledge of owning yourself.”
Was it Rudyard Kipling? Can you also identify what specific work it is from?
In 1996 Todd McMasters posted a message to the Usenet newsgroup alt.quotations in which he attributed the quotation to a prominent German philosopher:9
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
In 2003 Yanky Fachler published “My Family Doesn’t Understand Me!: Coping Strategies for Entrepreneurs” which contained the following passage:10
The famous philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche eloquently described this feeling:
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
The loneliness felt by so many entrepreneurs is a theme that never fails to be articulated by participants in my seminars.
In 2008 Dr. Lisa Medoff published “Stressed Out Students’ Guide to Handling Peer Pressure” which credited the quotation to Friedrich Nietzsche.11
In conclusion, Rudyard Kipling died in 1936. Journalist Arthur Gordon stated that he interviewed Kipling in 1935, and Gordon heard the quotation directly from Kipling. Thus, the authenticity of the quotation is based on the veracity of Gordon who became a well-regarded editor at “Good Housekeeping” and “Cosmopolitan” magazines.
Image Notes: Picture of a blue peacock amongst yellow rubber ducks from Bob Jenkin Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Jared Morton whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.
- 1959 July, Reader’s Digest, Interview With an Immortal by Arthur Gordon (Former editor of Cosmopolitan), Start Page 38, Quote Page 41, Column 2, The Reader’s Digest Association, Pleasantville, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2002 January 6, The Arizona Republic, Arthur Gordon; was ‘Cosmopolitan’ editor, Quote Page B6, Column 3, Phoenix, Arizona. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
- 1959 December 15, Elwood Call-Leader, Today’s Thought, Quote Page 1, Column 1, Elwood, Indiana. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
- 1967 June, The Kipling Journal, Volume 34, Number 162, Six Hours with Rudyard Kipling by Arthur Gordon, Start Page 5, Quote Page 7, Published by the Kipling Society, Kenley, Surrey. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1967 Copyright, When Crisis Comes: Overcoming the Continuing Stresses of Life by T. Cecil Myers, Chapter: Twelve, Going On Twenty, Quote Page 98, Abingdon Press, Nashville, Tennessee. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1979 October 4, Suffolk Free Press, Letter from: R. G. Herbert of Sudbury, Quote Page 19, Column 3 and 4, Suffolk, England. (British Newspaper Archive) ↩︎
- 1983, Kipling: Interviews and Recollections, Edited by Harold Orel, Volume 2, Six Hours with Rudyard Kipling by Arthur Gordon, Start Page 383, Quote Page 386, (Reprinted from Kipling Journal, June 1967), Barnes & Noble Books. Totowa, New Jersey. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- Usenet discussion message, Timestamp: Dec 16, 1994, 8:03:32 PM, Newsgroup: alt.quotations, From: Bernard Schneider, Subject: Who said: Was it Kipling??? (Google Groups Search; Accessed March 1, 2026) link ↩︎
- Usenet discussion message, Timestamp: Sep 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM, Newsgroup: alt.quotations, From: TMcmasters (Todd McMasters), Subject: Self. (Google Groups Search; Accessed March 1, 2026) link ↩︎
- 2003 Copyright, My Family Doesn’t Understand Me!: Coping Strategies for Entrepreneurs by Yanky Fachler, Chapter 7: Lonely at the Top, Quote Page 55, Oak Tree Press, Cork, Ireland. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2008 Copyright, Stressed Out Students’ Guide to Handling Peer Pressure by Dr. Lisa Medoff, Chapter 1, Quote Page 7, Kaplan Publishing: A Division of Kaplan Inc., New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎