Don’t Wrestle with a Chimney Sweep or You Will Get Covered with Grime

William Adams? James Boswell? Walter Scott? Jonah Barrington? Viscount Bolingbroke? Henry Van Dyke? John Bright? John J. Keane? William Wedgwood Benn? Tony Benn? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: When you are attacked with falsehoods and invective it is natural to respond with abusive language; however, viewers of the interaction may feel revulsion for both the attacker and the defender. This notion has been expressed using a vivid analogy. Here are three examples:

  1. You can’t wrestle with a chimney sweep and come out clean.
  2. He who wrestles with a sweep must expect to be begrimed with soot.
  3. Never wrestle with a chimney sweep.

The British politician Tony Benn employed this saying. Would you please examine its history?

Quote Investigator: The celebrated multi-volume biography “The Life of Samuel Johnson” by James Boswell included a pithy instance of the expression in a section recounting events in 1776. The saying was spoken to Samuel Johnson by William Adams who was Master of Pembroke College, University of Oxford. Interestingly, Johnson disagreed with the advice. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1791, The Life of Samuel Johnson, LL.D.: Comprehending an Account of His Studies and Numerous Works, in Chronological Order by James Boswell, Volume 2 of 2, Time period specified: 1776, Quote Page 24 and 25, Printed by Henry Baldwin for Charles Dilly, London. (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

Johnson coincided with me and said, “When a man voluntarily engages in an important controversy, he is to do all he can to lessen his antagonist, because authority from personal respect has much weight with most people, and often more than reasoning. If my antagonist writes bad language, though that may not be essential to the question, I will attack him for his bad language.”

ADAMS. “You would not jostle a chimney-sweeper.”

JOHNSON. “Yes, Sir, if it were necessary to jostle him down.”

Adams employed a version of the metaphor without elaboration, and Johnson understood it readily; hence, both may have already heard similar phrases.

QI has an article on an entertaining variant adage that appeared later: Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order. Continue reading “Don’t Wrestle with a Chimney Sweep or You Will Get Covered with Grime”

Quote Origin: I’ve Been Poor, and I’ve Been Rich. Rich Is Better!

Fanny Brice? Beatrice Kaufman? Joe E. Lewis? Sophie Tucker? Johnny Hyde? Jack Herbert? Harold Gray? Bernice Fitz-Gibbon? Bob Mankoff?

Question for Quote Investigator: A newly wealthy person sometimes feels sentimental about an earlier period of poverty. Yet, one well-heeled individual unapologetically proclaimed:

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. And, believe me, rich is better.

These words have been ascribed to entertainer Fanny Brice, singer Sophie Tucker, comedian Joe E. Lewis, writer Beatrice Kaufman, and others. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in May 1937 in the popular syndicated gossip column of Leonard Lyons who credited the writer Beatrice Kaufman. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:1

At the Tavern Mrs. George S. Kaufman urges a noted theatrical figure to accept the movie offers being tendered him. “Listen, and take my advice,” she urges. “Don’t overlook the money part of it. I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich. Rich is better!”

The above citation was listed in the important reference works “The Yale Book of Quotations”2 and “The Quote Verifier”.3 Kaufmann is the leading candidate for creator of this remark although in subsequent years it was employed by many others. Even columnist Lyons credited multiple people.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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I Take My Hat Off To You as a Composer; I Put Back Ten Hats as a Man

Arturo Toscanini? Georges Clemenceau? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: According to legend the prominent conductor Arturo Toscanini expressed disrespect for the famous composer Richard Strauss during an incident in the 1930s. To understand this incident it is helpful to know that removing one’s hat was a gesture of respect in the European culture shared by the two men. Here are two versions of the insult:

1) For Strauss the composer, I take my hat off. For Strauss the man, I put it on again.

2) Strauss, as a musician I take my hat off to you; as a man I put on twelve hats.

Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this insult schema located by QI appeared many years earlier in 1918. Georges Clemenceau who was the Prime Minister of France reportedly employed the hat remark while discussing the behavior of a country during World War 1. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1918 December 21, The New Appeal (Appeal to Reason), A Great Difference, Quote Page 3, Column 6, Girard, Kansas. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

He was receiving a delegation from Rumania, and, after a short conversation, was asked by one of the delegates to send a message to the Rumanians who had given such gallant support to the Allies before national intrigue played them false. Then up rose Clemenceau and uttered the following tigerish sentiment: “I rise in the presence of your delegation; I take my hat off to the Rumanian people; I put it on again in the face of the Rumanian government.” Short, sweet, typically French in its incisive, epigrammatic quality.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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My Life Depended on 150,000 Pieces of Equipment – Each Bought from the Lowest Bidder

Alan Shepard? John Glenn? Wernher von Braun? Gus Grissom? Gordon Cooper? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: According to legend an astronaut was asked how he felt sitting in a space capsule while preparing for launch or travelling in orbit around the Earth. He replied with a trenchant comment about equipment and low-bid contracts. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: On April 26, 1963 a columnist in a Bryan, Texas newspaper printed a remark ascribed to astronaut Alan Shepard although the word “supposedly” was used to signal uncertainty. Shepard was the first American to travel into space. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1963 April 26, The Bryan Daily Eagle, Eagle Items by Brett Martin, Quote Page 2, Column 4, Bryan, Texas. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Here’s one of the comments Astronaut Alan Shepard supposedly made before he crawled into his space capsule for the first trip into outer space by an American: “Just think, the contract on this thing went to the lowest bidder.”

A few days later, on May 1, 1963 a columnist in an Amarillo, Texas newspaper printed a more elaborate quip ascribed to John Glenn who was the first American to orbit the Earth:[ref] 1963 May 1, The Amarillo Globe-Times, Putting Around Curtis with Putt Powell, Quote Page 15, Column 1, Amarillo, Texas. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

Astronaut John Glenn is supposed to have said: “My life depended on 150,000 pieces of equipment – each bought from the lowest bidder.”

Similar remarks have been attributed to other astronauts, and QI conjectures that the colleagues of the space program shared the quip with one another. During a 1998 interview Glenn directly retold his version of the joke, and QI believes he created the most interesting version.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order. Continue reading “My Life Depended on 150,000 Pieces of Equipment – Each Bought from the Lowest Bidder”

We Cannot Direct the Wind, But We Can Adjust the Sails

Cora L. V. Hatch? Thomas Sheridan? George Whyte-Melville? A. B. Kendig? Ella Wheeler Wilcox? Bertha Calloway? Jimmy Dean? Dolly Parton? Thomas S. Monson?

Dear Quote Investigator: We are buffeted by events that are beyond our control, but we can still react constructively. A popular adage highlights this flexibility:

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

This saying has been credited to Dolly Parton, Thomas S, Monson, Bertha Calloway, Jimmy Dean, and several others. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: In 1859 the well-known spiritualist Cora L. V. Hatch delivered a lecture at the Cooper Institute while in a trance as reported in “The Cleveland Plain Dealer”. Hatch employed a version of the expression:[ref] 1859 January 15, Daily Plain Dealer, Mrs. Cora L. V. Hatch on Spiritualism: The Law of God a Unit, Quote Page 2, Column 3, Cleveland, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)[/ref]

You could not prevent a thunderstorm, but you could use the electricity; you could not direct the wind, but you could trim your sail so as to propel your vessel as you pleased, no matter which way the wind blew.

This was the earliest close match known to QI. Other oft-mentioned candidates for crafters of this adage were born after it was in circulation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order. Continue reading “We Cannot Direct the Wind, But We Can Adjust the Sails”

Believe Nothing You Hear, and Only One Half That You See

Edgar Allan Poe? Dinah Craik? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following hyperbolic proverb encouraging skepticism has been credited to the master of mystery and the macabre Edgar Allan Poe:

Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear.

Did Poe craft this saying?

Quote Investigator: The short story “The System of Dr. Tarr and Prof. Fether” by Edgar Allan Poe appeared in the November 1845 issue of “Graham’s Magazine”. The tale was set in a private hospital for the mentally ill, and the adage was spoken by the nominal head of the institution. Emphasis added by QI:[ref] 1845 November, Graham’s Magazine (Graham’s American Monthly Magazine of Literature and Art), Volume 28, Number 5, The System of Dr. Tarr and Prof. Fether by Edgar Allan Poe, Start Page 193, Quote Page 194, Column 2, George R. Graham & Co., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

“You are young yet, my friend,” replied my host, “but the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for yourself of what is going on in the world, without trusting to the gossip of others. Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.

This was the earliest strong match known to QI. Hence, Poe is the leading candidate for coiner of this expression although the phrasing differed slightly from the popular modern versions.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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If We’re Lucky, Robots Might Decide To Keep Us as Pets

Isaac Asimov? Marvin Minsky? Paul Saffo? Edward Fredkin? Bruce Sterling?

Dear Quote Investigator: Reportedly, a top researcher in artificial intelligence once said something like:

Humans will be lucky if superintelligent robots treat them as pets.

At some point a grim elaboration was appended:

If humans are unlucky, they will be treated as food.

Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: In 1970 “LIFE” magazine journalist Brad Darrach wrote an article about Shakey the Robot, an early mobile robot built at the Stanford Research Institute. The primitive device was grandly called the “first electronic person” within the article title. Darrach interviewed Marvin Minsky, a leading researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), who was quoted making a startling prediction:[ref] 1970 November 20, LIFE, Meet Shaky, the first electronic person: The fascinating and fearsome reality of a machine with a mind of its own by Brad Darrach, Start Page 58B, Quote Page 58D, 66, and 68, Time Inc., New York. (Google Books Full View)[/ref]

In from three to eight years we will have a machine with the general intelligence of an average human being. I mean a machine that will be able to read Shakespeare, grease a car, play office politics, tell a joke, have a fight. At that point the machine will begin to educate itself with fantastic speed. In a few months it will be at genius level and a few months after that its powers will be incalculable.

Minsky and a colleague warned that intelligent computers should not be put in control of indispensable systems; instead, they must be carefully controlled. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:

The problem of computer control will have to be solved, Minsky and Papert believe, before computers are put in charge of systems essential to society’s survival. If a computer directing the nation’s economy or its nuclear defenses ever rated its own efficiency above its ethical obligation, it could destroy man’s social order—or destroy man. “Once the computers got control,” says Minsky, “we might never get it back. We would survive at their sufferance. If we’re lucky, they might decide to keep us as pets.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order including a 1985 passage asserting that Minsky denied making the statement about pets. Continue reading “If We’re Lucky, Robots Might Decide To Keep Us as Pets”

Never Go to Bed Mad—Stay Up and Fight

Phyllis Diller? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Newlyweds are sometimes given the following thoughtful relationship advice:

Never go to bed while angry with your partner.

The prominent comedian Phyllis Diller twisted this expression to yield a very funny line. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: The quip appeared in her 1966 book “Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1966 Copyright, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints by Phyllis Diller, Chapter 7, Quote Page 98, Doubleday and Company, Garden City, New York. (Verified with hardcopy)[/ref]

Never Go to Bed Mad—Stay Up and Fight

Just the other day I said to Fang, “Don’t you think we’ve got a storybook romance?” and he said, “Yes, and every page is ripped.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order. Continue reading “Never Go to Bed Mad—Stay Up and Fight”

Patriotism Means To Stand by the Country. It Does Not Mean To Stand by the President or Any Other Public Official

Theodore Roosevelt? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a spirited disagreement on Facebook about whether the following statement can be ascribed to Theodore Roosevelt:

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President.

Would you please help?

Quote Investigator: Several U.S. presidential administrations have been greeted by critics who have cited this expression. In May 1918 Theodore Roosevelt published an article titled “Lincoln and Free Speech” in “Metropolitan Magazine” which began with the following paragraph. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1918 May, Metropolitan Magazine, Volume 47, Number 6, Lincoln and Free Speech by Theodore Roosevelt, Start Page 7, Quote Page 7, Column 1, The Metropolitan Magazine Company, New York. (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

PATRIOTISM means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the President or any other public official save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him in so far as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth—whether about the President or about anyone else—save in the rare cases where this would make known to the enemy information of military value which would otherwise be unknown to him.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Patriotism Means To Stand by the Country. It Does Not Mean To Stand by the President or Any Other Public Official”

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