I Don’t Get Ulcers. I Give Them

Harry Cohn? Samuel Goldwyn? David O. Selznick? Jimmie Fidler? Lyndon B. Johnson? Anonymous? Dear Quote investigator: According to a Hollywood legend a movie mogul expressed his unhappiness by angrily upbraiding underlings. Eventually, an assistant cautioned him that delivering repeated harangues can cause stomach ulcers. The magnate snarled: I don’t get ulcers. I give them. This …

Give the People What They Want and They’ll Come

Humorist: Red Skelton? George Jessel? Goodman Ace? Groucho Marx? Bert Lahr? James Bacon? Funeral: Harry Cohn? Louis B. Mayer? Dear Quote Investigator: A show business platitude states that success at the box office is achievable by simply giving the people what they want. A harsh comical anecdote about a funeral reinterpreted this saying. The memorial …

Writers Are Just Schmucks with Underwoods

Jack L. Warner? Bill Davidson? Samuel Goldwyn? Louis B. Mayer? Harry Cohn? Apocryphal? Insult: Schmuck? Schlep? Schnook? Dear Quote Investigator: The attitude of Hollywood producers toward writers has been epitomized by the following callous remark: A writer is a schmuck with an Underwood. The Underwood Typewriter Company manufactured the best writing implements when the statement …

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