Ernest Hemingway? Charles Scribner IV? Malcolm Forbes? Apocryphal?
Quote Investigator: The earliest match for this tale located by QI appeared in “Forbes” magazine in September 1961. The editor Malcolm S. Forbes wrote the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1961 September 1, Forbes, Volume 88, Issue 5, Fact and Comment by Malcolm S. Forbes, Sub-section: One of Hemingway’s “Rules for Living”, Start Page 7, Quote Page 8, Forbes Inc., New York. (Verified with scans) [/ref]
When Charles Scribner (IV) succeeded his late father as head of the country’s most venerable publishing firm in 1952, Ernest Hemingway, an old friend, wrote him a long personal letter, which concluded with a list of his “rules for life.” Among them, this one which we pass on to our readers without further comment:
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk: That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
Forbes did not explain how he learned about the content of Hemingway’s letter. Perhaps Scribner recounted the story to Forbes.
Additional strong evidence supporting the authenticity of the remark appeared in a book Scribner authored in 1990. He presented the same tale and a longer version of the quotation with the phrase “do when you were drunk”. Details are given further below.
Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.
In September 1961 “Atlantic Coast Line News” printed the quotation while acknowledging Malcolm S. Forbes in “Forbes” magazine:[ref] 1961 September-October, Atlantic Coast Line News, Volume 42, Number 5, (Filler item), Quote Page 10, Office of Public Relations and Advertising of Atlantic Coast Line, Jacksonville, Florida. (Google Books Full View) [/ref]
Ernest Hemingway once wrote a long personal letter to the publisher, Charles Scribner IV, and concluded with a list of his “rules for life.” Among them: “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk: that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
In January 1962 the quotation achieved further circulation when “The Berkshire Eagle” of Pittsfield, Massachusetts reprinted the passage from “Forbes” magazine with an acknowledgement.[ref] 1962 January 2, The Berkshire Eagle, Humor (filler item), Quote Page 14, Column 7, Pittsfield, Massachusetts. (Newspapers_com) [/ref]
In 1963 a slightly different version of the quotation with the word “big” appeared in newspapers such as the “Salinas Californian” of California[ref] 1963 January 23, Salinas Californian, Look Out Below, Quote Page 1, Column 8, Salinas, California. (Newspapers_com) [/ref] and “The Pensacola News” of Florida. An automotive trade journal called “Parts Pup” received credit:[ref] 1963 February 19, The Pensacola News, Views of Others, Quote Page 4, Column 2, Pensacola, Florida. (Newspapers_com) [/ref]
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk—that’ll teach you to keep your big mouth shut. —Parts Pup
In 1964 publisher and raconteur Bennett Cerf presented a divergent anecdote in his syndicated newspaper column, and he credited Hemingway with a differently phrased quotation:[ref] 1964 April 25, Tyrone Daily Herald, Try and Stop Me by Bennett Cerf, Quote Page 7, Column 4, Tyrone, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com) [/ref]
The late Ernest Hemingway, author of “The Sun Also Rises” and “A Farewell to Arms,” gave this advice to a young author who visited the Hemingway home in Cuba: “Try doing something sober that you announced loudly you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your big mouth shut!”
In 1980 “The New York Times” printed a piece about Charles Scribner IV and his son. The newspaper printed the first part of the quotation under examination. The second part was omitted:[ref] 1980 May 30, New York Times, Publishing: Old Ghosts and New Ideas at Scribner’s by Herbert Mitgang, Quote Page C21, Column 2, New York. (ProQuest) [/ref]
The father likes to quote from the “Rules of Life” that Hemingway gave him after his father died and he became president of Scribner’s in 1952. Some of them are:
“Don’t do knife tricks.
“Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk.
“Don’t wrestle with bears.”
In 1990 Charles Scribner IV published “In the Company of Writers: A Life in Publishing”, and he ascribed to Hemingway a longer instance of the remark with the phrase “do when you were drunk” instead of “do drunk”:[ref] 1990, In the Company of Writers: A Life in Publishing by Charles Scribner Jr. (Charles Scribner IV), Based on the Oral History by Joel R. Gardner, Chapter: My Life with Hemingway, Quote Page 64, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Verified with scans) [/ref]
Hemingway had a perfected gallows humor; he liked rough jokes, with a sting at the end. He once gave me some rules for life, among them: “Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!”
In 1993 Scribner published “In the Web of Ideas: The Education of a Publisher”, and he attributed three pieces of advice to Hemingway:[ref] 1993, In the Web of Ideas: The Education of a Publisher by Charles Scribner Jr. (Charles Scribner IV), Chapter: The Secret of Being Ernest (and the Secret of Keeping Ernest), Quote Page 57, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Verified with scans) [/ref]
Occasionally he wrote in a paternal vein, giving me curious rules for life. The first was straightforward: “Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” The other two were cryptic: “Never fool around with bears” and “Never do knife tricks.” What possibly painful mishaps with bears and knives did he have in youth?
QI has examined another expression contrasting drunk behavior and sober behavior: “Write drunk, revise sober”. This saying has often been incorrectly ascribed to Hemingway The article is available here.
In conclusion, there is substantive evidence that Ernest Hemingway wrote a comment of this type in a letter he sent to Charles Scribner IV in the 1950s. One version of the quotation appeared in “Forbes” magazine in September 1961. Another longer version appeared in Scribner’s memoir published in 1990. QI is uncertain which version is more accurate.
(Great thanks to Simon Koppel whose email led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Koppel mentioned the Hemingway ascription and pointed to the important 1990 citation.)