Charles Lamb? Thomas Love Peacock? William Makepeace Thackeray? Frederick Saunders? Oscar Wilde? Apocryphal?
Question for Quote Investigator: A humorous anecdote depicts an absurdist interaction between a worker and a supervisor:
Supervisor: “You have arrived late for work.”
Worker: “Yes, but I will make up for it by leaving early.”
This reply has been attributed to the English essayist and poet Charles Lamb who died in 1834, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Charles Lamb was a clerk at the East India House which was the London headquarters of the East India Company. Lamb is best known for a 1823 collection of essays titled “Essays of Elia” which was supplemented a decade later with “Last Essays of Elia”.
This anecdote is difficult to trace because the phrasing of the dialog is highly variable. The earliest evidence found by QI appeared in 1852 almost two decades after Lamb’s death. The book “Memories of the Great Metropolis: Or, London, from the Tower to the Crystal Palace” by Frederick Saunders contained the following passage. Boldface added to excepts by QI:1
It was here on one occasion when a complaint was made that he came late to his office in the morning, that Lamb wittily replied, “I admit it, but I leave early in the afternoon.”
This evidence was weak because it was not directly from a witness and because it appeared posthumously. Thus, QI believes that the attribution to Charles Lamb remains uncertain.
Below are additional selected citations organized chronologically.
In 1796 Charles Lamb wrote a letter in which he discussed staying late at work and returning home tired:2
I am starving at the India House,—near seven o’clock without my dinner, and so it has been, and will be, almost all the week. I get home at night o’erwearied, quite faint, and then to cards with my father, who will not let me enjoy a meal in peace. But I must conform to my situation; and I hope I am, for the most part, not unthankful.
The 1796 letter from Lamb was published in a collection in 1886. The editor added a footnote to the letter suggesting that the anecdote under examination was invented and the quip was incorrectly attributed to Lamb:
How little this bears out the poor joke invented for Lamb about his going late and leaving early!
In 1840 “The Westminster Review” published an essay by the prominent English writer William Makepeace Thackeray which included a humorous six line verse about working in an office. Thackeray did not identify the office or the creator of the verse. However, years later in 1869 the location was revealed to be East India House, and the author was disclosed to be Thomas Love Peacock:3
. . . we are reminded of the diary kept by a certain clerk in a certain public office eastward of Cornhill, whose daily duties began with a good breakfast, provided for him whilst the monopoly of the China trade lasted.
From 10 till 11—ate a breakfast for seven.
From 11 till noon,—to begin, ’twas too soon.
From 12 till 1—asked what’s to be done?
From 1 till 2—found nothing to do.
From 2 till 3—began to foresee.
That from 3 till 4 would be a great bore.
The above citation indicated that East India House was the subject of thematically similar jokes about a lackadaisical approach to work. Interestingly, a version of this verse was incorrectly ascribed to Charles Lamb in 1899.
In 1852 the anecdote appeared in “Memories of the Great Metropolis” as mentioned previously in this article.
In 1854 the tale was reprinted in “London: Its Literary and Historical Curiosities” by Frederick Saunders:4
It was here on one occasion when a complaint was made that he came late to his office in the morning, that Lamb wittily replied, “I admit it, but I leave early in the afternoon.”
In 1855 “The Knickerbocker” printed a note from a London visitor who spoke with the son of Charles Lamb’s executor who presented a version of the anecdote:5
. . . we eventually stumbled upon a son of his executor, who greeted us with English courtesy, and good-naturedly chatted about his father’s friend. He related many anecdotes, not otherwise note-worthy than as proving that the personal recollections of our author were still perpetuated. He sometimes came late to business, and when cautioned by his worthy superior, would dryly answer: ‘Oh! I’ll make it up by leaving earlier.’
In 1869 “The Cornhill Magazine” of London printed a version of the verse. The accompanying footnote credited Thomas Love Peacock:6
The following humorous description of the daily routine of office life was composed some years ago by a man who held a high official appointment, and who enjoyed a considerable literary reputation:—
From ten till eleven—have breakfast for seven,
From eleven till noon—think you’ve come too soon,
From twelve till one—think what’s to be done,
From one till two—find nothing to do,
From two till three—think it will be
A very great bore to stay till four.
In 1870 “What Shall My Son Be?: Hints to Parents on the Choice of a Profession Or Trade” by Francis Davenant contained the following passage:7
Regularity in attendance is one of the principal requirements in a Government office, and it covers a multitude of faults. Better, in one’s own interest, to be dull and stupid between ten and four, than to do as Charles Lamb did—come late and go early, and be bright and intelligent during the time actually spent in the room.
In 1872 the periodical “Allen’s Indian Mail” referenced a compressed version of the anecdote:8
In these days, we believe, it is rather the fashion for clerks in the public offices to make their appearance at eleven or twelve, and, like Charles Lamb, to atone for coming late by leaving early.
In 1893 “Bon-Mots of Charles Lamb and Douglas Jerrold” presented a version of the tale:9
At the East India House the head of the office once reproved Lamb for the excessive irregularity of his attendance.
“Really, Mr. Lamb, you come very late!” observed the official.
“Y—yes,” replied Lamb, with his habitual stammer; “b—but consi—sider how ear—early I go!”
In 1894 a collection of writings by Charles and Mary Lamb was published under the title “Tales from Shakespeare”. The introduction from the publisher presented the anecdote while expressing skepticism about its veracity:10
Charles’s employment, for which he left school, was first in the South Sea House, where his older brother was engaged; but in two years he entered the House of the East India Company, and there he worked faithfully at his clerkship for thirty-three years. So faithful, indeed, he was that too much seriousness must not be attached to the story that one morning he was reproved for coming late to his desk, and in reply excused himself by saying that he made up for it by leaving early in the afternoon.
In 1899 Sir Algernon West published two volumes of recollections. West retold the anecdote, and he also incorrectly credited a version of the verse to Lamb:11
The story of Lamb’s answer to the East India directors, who blamed him for coming too late to his office, when he said: ‘It is true that I come late, but I always leave early,’ is too old a friend to omit; but some lines he wrote on his duties are perhaps not so well known. It was the custom of the India House always to give tea to any clerk coming before ten o’clock in the morning, and Charles Lamb wrote:
“From ten to eleven
Eat breakfast for seven.
From eleven to noon
Think I’ve come too soon.
From noon to one
Think what’s to be done.
From one to two
Find nothing to do.
From two to three
Think it will be
A very great bore
To stay till four.”
In 1905 the tale appeared in the biography “The Life of Charles Lamb” by Edward Verrall Lucas:12
. . . Lamb’s famous reply to the remark of a superior official, “I notice, Mr. Lamb, that you come very late every morning”—“Yes, but see how early I go.”
In 1912 the book “Modern Business Practice” printed an instance of the tale:13
It is said of Charles Lamb, who at one time held a Government appointment, and who was proverbial for coming in late, that one morning, being later than usual, and his superior finding fault, Lamb offered this excuse, “If I do come late in the morning I try to make up for it by leaving early in the afternoon.” This was a good joke, but hardly the style of business to gain promotion.
In 1955 Lewis Broad published the biography “The Friendships and Follies of Oscar Wilde”. Broad presented a variant anecdote that occurred while Wilde was the editor of “Woman’s World”:14
With the passing of time the monotony of office life, even an editor’s office, began to weigh upon him. At first he had been prompt in his arrival in the morning, but as the months passed he became later and later. When chided for leaving early he answered in the classic words of Charles Lamb: “But then I always arrive late.”
In 2002 the joke appeared in “The Daily Telegraph” of London. A column that answered inquiries about business life printed the following question:15
I have an employee who, on being questioned about punctuality, responded: “What I lose by coming in late, I make up for by leaving early.” Is this what is known as flexitime? What should I do about it?
In conclusion, Charles Lamb died in 1834, and the anecdote was circulating by 1852. Overall, the evidence was weak because of the time delay and indirect testimony. In addition, a 1796 letter from Lamb suggested that he was a conscientious worker who sometimes stayed late at the office. Perhaps future researchers will discover citations which provide superior evidence.
Image Notes: Illustration of a collection of clocks from Jon Tyson at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Daniel Gackle whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.
- 1852, Memories of the Great Metropolis: Or, London, from the Tower to the Crystal Palace by F. Saunders (Frederick Saunders), Quote Page 210, G. P. Putnam, New York. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1886, Letters of Charles Lamb, Selected by the Late Sir Thomas Noon Talfourd (One of His Executors), Revised and Greatly Enlarged by W. Carew Hazlitt, Volume 1 of 2, Book 2, Chapter 6, Letter to Mr. Coleridge, Date: December 2, 1796, Footnote 2, Quote Page 144, George Bell and Sons, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1840 June, The Westminster Review, Volume 34, Essay: George Cruikshank (by William Makepeace Thackeray), Start Page 1, Quote Page 51, Henry Hooper, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1854, London: Its Literary and Historical Curiosities by F. Saunders (Frederick Saunders), Chapter 8, Quote Page 175, Kiggins and Kellogg, New York. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1855 June, The Knickerbocker: Or, New-York Monthly Magazine, Volume 45, Number 6, Editor’s Table, Gossip With Readers and Correspondents, Quote Page 640, Samuel Hueston, New York. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1869 March, The Cornhill Magazine, Volume 19, The Civil Service, Start Page 341, Quote Page 348, Smith, Elder & Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1870, What Shall My Son Be?: Hints to Parents on the Choice of a Profession Or Trade by Francis Davenant, Chapter: The Civil Service, Quote Page 119, (Remark: Date of June 1870 is specified at the end of the dedicatory note), S. W. Partridge & Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1872 February 13, Allen’s Indian Mail, Retirement of Sir James Hogg, Quote Page 144, Column 1, William H. Allen and Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1893, Bon-Mots of Charles Lamb and Douglas Jerrold, Edited Walter Jerrold, Section: Charles Lamb, Quote Page 35, J. M. Dent and Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1894, Tales from Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb, Chapter: Introductory Sketch, Quote Page vii, Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Internet Archive Full View) link ↩︎
- 1899, Recollections: 1832 to 1886 by The Right Hon. Sir Algernon West, Volume 1 of 2, Chapter 8, Quote Page 314 and 315, Smith, Elder & Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1905, The Life of Charles Lamb by E. V. Lucas (Edward Verrall Lucas), Volume 2 of 2, Chapter 42: The Release, Quote Page 143, Methuen & Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1912, Modern Business Practice: A Comprehensive Practical Guide and Work for Reference for Office, Warehouse, Exchange, and Market, Prepared by Many Specialists Under the Editorship of Frank Walter Raffety, Volume 3, Foreword: How To Build Up a Successful Business by Sir Thomas J. Lipton, Start Page xv, Quote Page xv, The Gresham Publishing Company, London. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
- 1955 (1954 Copyright), The Friendships and Follies of Oscar Wilde by Lewis Broad, Chapter 7: Marriage, Quote Page 91, Thomas Y. Crowell Company, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2002 July 18, The Daily Telegraph, Trusty Navy lark that’ll clear the decks of idiots by Professor Ernst Anderson KPMG, Quote Page A8, Column 1 and 2, London, England. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎