Oscar Wilde? Harold Mellor? Francis Douglas? Percy Colson? Beverley Baxter?
Question for Quote Investigator: When you are filled with love you nurture other people. The absence of love is bleak and discouraging. Here is a pertinent saying:
Life without love is like a sunless garden with dead flowers.
Apparently, the brilliant Irish wit Oscar Wilde crafted this emotional line or something similar. I am skeptical because Wilde is usually unsentimental. Would you please help me to find a citation if one exists?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Oscar Wilde died in 1900 after his imprisonment and the breaking of his spirit. In 1949 Francis Douglas, in collaboration with Percy Colson, published “Oscar Wilde and the Black Douglas”. The book discussed the harrowing downfall of Wilde precipitated by the actions of John Sholto Douglas, the 9th Marquess of Queensberry. The author Francis Douglas, the 11th Marquess of Queensberry, disagreed with his grandfather’s actions and was sympathetic to Wilde.
The book printed bons mots ascribed to Oscar Wilde such as these items. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
“It is only the very dull who like practical jokes.”
“If your sins find you out, why worry? It is when they find you in, that trouble begins.”
“Most religious teachers spend their time trying to prove the unproven by the unprovable.”
“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.”
The authors claimed that Harold Mellor, a wealthy admirer of Wilde, wrote down these statements. Between 1898 and 1900 Wilde visited and travelled with Mellor three times. Harold Mellor died in 1925. QI does not know precisely when Mellor recorded Wilde’s words.
Thus, evidence suggests that Oscar Wilde made the statements quoted above. However, the accuracy of their transcription depends on Harold Mellor’s memory and credibility. Further, this evidence was relayed through the co-authors Francis Douglas and Percy Colson.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
The relationship between Wilde and Mellor was complex. Initially, Wilde viewed Mellor positively. On February 2, 1899, Wilde wrote a letter to Robert Ross containing the following description of Mellor:2
He is a charming fellow, very cultivated, though he finds that Literature is an inadequate expression of Life. That is quite true: but a work of Art is an adequate expression of Art; that is its aim.
Wilde’s viewpoint changed after he spent more time with Mellor. In a letter dated March 12, 1899, Wilde told Ross that Mellor was mean, i.e., stingy:3
I dislike Mellor, because he is unsocial, taciturn, wretched company, and taking no pains to please or gratify his guest. He is very well off, but absurdly mean in everything. He gives me at dinner the most horrid Swiss vin ordinaire, though he has a capital cellar, and is quite amused by the fact that I don’t like it. There is insanity in his family … His own insanity is misanthropy, and meanness. I am philosophic about it now; indeed we only meet at meals. In the evening he reads The Times, or sleeps — both audibly.
Wilde also complained that Mellor was reluctant to loan him money. Yet, Wilde visited Mellor again after he was sent a £50 gift.
In April 1949 journalist Beverley Baxter published a column in “The Sketch” newspaper of London. Baxter had received a collection of “precepts for the young” from the “lively septuagenarian” Percy Colson. The collection included the following four items:4
“It is only the very dull who enjoy practical jokes.”
“Where there is universal equality, there can be no quality.”
“Life without love is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”
“Graciousness is the finest of the moral qualities. The lack of it seems to make all the others worthless.”
Some of the items in this collection were derived from the words attributed to Oscar Wilde, but other items were independently constructed or acquired by Percy Colson.
In 1952 Alvin Redman compiled and published “The Epigrams of Oscar Wilde” which contained the following entry:5
Keep love in your heart, A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
In Conversation.
In February 1953 “The Irish Digest” of Dublin, Ireland printed excerpts from Alvin Redman’s book which included the entry given immediately above.6
In 1989 William Safire and Leonard Safir published the compilation “Words of Wisdom” which included this item:7
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
—Oscar Wilde
In 2006 Tweed Conrad published the compilation “Oscar Wilde in Quotation” which included a thematically related statement from Wilde:8
But how to write anything these grey days? I hate our sunless, loveless winter…. Letter to Violet Fane (Letters, p278)
In conclusion, the 1949 book by Francis Douglas and Percy Colson presented a statement attributed to Oscar Wilde based on written notes by Harold Mellor. Wilde spent time with Mellor, and this evidence is substantive. Yet, the accuracy depends on Mellor’s truthfulness. Also, the time delay from the death of Wilde in 1900 to the publication of the book in 1949 was large.
Image Notes: Heart-shaped arch of flowers from Anubhav Sonker at Unsplash. The image has been cropped and resized.
Acknowledgements: Great thanks to Lauren Gilbert and Brian whose inquiries led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Thanks to Rich Lowenthal who highlighted the uneasy relationship between Oscar Wilde and Harold Mellor as revealed in letters from Wilde.
Update History: On October 13, 2026, citations dated February 2, 1899; and March 12, 1899; were added to the article.
- 1949 (1950 Reprint), Oscar Wilde and the Black Douglas by The Marquess of Queensberry (Francis Douglas) in collaboration with Percy Colson, Chapter 10: After Naples, Quote Page 116 and 117, Hutchinson & Company, London. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2000, The Complete Letters of Oscar Wilde, Edited by Merlin Holland and Rupert Hart-Davis, Letter to: Robert Ross, Letter from: Oscar Wilde, Letter date: February 2, 1899, Letter location: Napoule, Start Page 1121, Quote Page 1121, Fourth Estate, London, England. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 2000, The Complete Letters of Oscar Wilde, Edited by Merlin Holland and Rupert Hart-Davis, Letter to: Robert Ross, Letter from: Oscar Wilde, Letter date: March 12, 1899, Letter location: Gland, Switzerland, Start Page 1134, Quote Page 1134, Fourth Estate, London, England. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1949 April 13, The Sketch, Sketch-Book by Beverley Baxter, Start Page 238 (4), Quote Page 239 (5), Column 2, London, England. (British Newspaper Archive) ↩︎
- 1952 First Printing (1962 Reprint), The Epigrams of Oscar Wilde, Edited by Alvin Redman, Chapter 10: Love, Quote Page 102, Alvin Redman Limited, London, England. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1953 February, The Irish Digest, Volume 44, Number 2, Epigrams of Oscar Wilde, Compiled by Alvin Redman, Topic: Romance, Start Page 26, Quote Page 28, Dublin, Ireland. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1989, Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice, Compiled and edited by William Safire and Leonard Safir, Section: Love (Universal), Quote Page 230, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified on paper) ↩︎
- 2006, Oscar Wilde in Quotation: 3,100 Insults, Anecdotes, and Aphorisms, Topically Arranged with Attributions, Compiled and edited by Tweed Conrad, Chapter 8: Britain and the British, Quote Page 48, Column 2, McFarland & Company Inc., Jefferson, North Carolina. (Verified with scans) ↩︎