Quote Investigator® – Page 14

Joke Origin: A Person Who Makes Puns Should Be Drawn and Quoted

Fred Allen? John Florence Sullivan? Charlie Rice? Red Skelton? Anonymous?

**A visual pun for the word “quartered”**

Question for Quote Investigator: Puns are regularly lambasted, but the complaints are often comical as in the following slyly self-reflexive joke:

A person who makes puns should be drawn and quoted.

This statement has been attributed to comedian Fred Allen, newspaper columnist Charlie Rice, and entertainer Red Skelton. Would you please help me to find the true originator?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This joke alludes to the penalty of drawing and quartering which was ordained in England in the thirteenth century for the crime of treason.

The earliest match for this joke found by QI appeared in a column by Charlie Rice in the widely distributed Sunday newspaper supplement “This Week Magazine” in April 1961. Rice credited Fred Allen. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Meanwhile, let us hope for the best, and remember the words of the late Fred Allen: “Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns. He should be drawn and quoted!”

Fred Allen (stage name of John Florence Sullivan) was one of the most popular humorists on the radio in the U.S. in the 1930s and 1940s. He died in 1956.

Additional compelling evidence appeared in the 2001 book “All the Sincerity in Hollywood” which contained writings from Fred Allen compiled and edited by Stuart Hample who was able to access the private collection of the Allen family and an archive of Allen’s documents at the Rare Book & Manuscript Division of the Boston Public Library. Hample explained the strategy Allen used to gather material for his radio program:²

Allen penciled random thoughts on the sheets of foolscap he kept in his pockets, some written as grist for his radio comedy, others for reasons known only to himself.

Hample indicated that Allen’s notes were written in lower case. Here were four items:³

most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing our wild oats — then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

hanging is too good for a man who makes puns, he should be drawn and quoted.

everything in radio is as valuable as a butterfly’s belch.

celebrity — person who works hard his whole life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: There Are Only Two Ways To Live Your Life. One Is As Though Nothing Is a Miracle. The Other Is As Though Everything Is a Miracle

Albert Einstein? Basil Wilberforce? Gilbert Fowler White? Robert E. Hinshaw?

**Glass sphere on the beach from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Some skeptical individuals doubt the existence of anything miraculous or supernatural. Yet, some spiritual individuals believe that everything is miraculous. Here is a pertinent saying about this dichotomy:

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

This statement has been attributed to the famous scientist Albert Einstein, but I am unconvinced because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in notes kept by the prominent U.S. geographer Gilbert Fowler White in 1942. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

What was this? Happy chance? A miracle? As I look back over the truly crucial events in my life I realize that they were not planned long in advance. Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is”.

The text above appeared in Robert E. Hinshaw’s 2006 biography titled “Living With Nature’s Extremes: The Life of Gilbert Fowler White”. The source note accompanying the text stated that it occurred in Fowler’s personal notes of 1942.

It is not clear how White learned about this quotation, and QI has not yet found any additional substantive support for the attribution to Einstein. Hence, this evidence is weak. Based on current knowledge QI would not ascribe these words to Einstein, and the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When You Have Eliminated the Impossible Whatever Remains, However Improbable, Must Be the Truth

Arthur Conan Doyle? Edgar Allan Poe? Dorothy L. Sayers? Apocryphal?

Picture of a magnifying glass on a wooden table from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous fictional detective once explained the methodology for solving mysteries. The sleuth should gather facts and systematically eliminate hypotheses that are impossible. When a single hypothesis remains, however improbable, it must be the truth.

The description of this approach has been attributed to Arthur Conan Doyle’s detective Sherlock Holmes, Edgar Allan Poe’s ratiocinator C. Auguste Dupin, and Dorothy L. Sayers’s sleuth Lord Peter Wimsey.

I am confused because I have not seen a proper analysis with citations. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and the true originator?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This is a difficult task because many phrasings are possible. The earliest match known to QI appeared in the short story “The Fate of the Evangeline” by Arthur Conan Doyle which appeared in the periodical “The Boy’s Own Paper” of London in 1885. This tale did not include the character Sherlock Holmes. Interestingly, the saying was credited to C. Auguste Dupin who was the fictional mystery solver of U.S. short story master Edgar Allan Poe. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“It would be well,” the “Scotsman” concluded, “if those who express opinions upon such subjects would bear in mind those simple rules as to the analysis of evidence laid down by Auguste Dupin. ‘Exclude the impossible,’ he remarks in one of Poe’s immortal stories, ‘and what is left, however improbable, must be the truth.’

Researchers have been unable to find this statement in the writings of Poe. Hence, the credit remains with Doyle himself although he may have been inspired to formulate the saying after reading Poe’s detective tales.

Doyle presented the expression multiple times in his works. Others noticed and highlighted the saying. Here is an overview with dates:

1885: Exclude the impossible and what is left, however improbable, must be the truth (The Fate of the Evangeline by A. Conan Doyle)

1890: Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth (The Sign of the Four by A. Conan Doyle)

1890: When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth (The Sign of the Four by A. Conan Doyle)

1892: When you have excluded the impossible , whatever remains , however improbable, must be the truth (The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet by A. Conan Doyle)

1896: Eliminate the impossible, and what is left, however improbable, must be the truth (Attributed to Sherlock Holmes within Beyond the Verge by De Witt C. Chipman)

1908: When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth (The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans by A. Conan Doyle)

1930: When you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be true (Attributed to Sherlock Holmes and Auguste Dupin within Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers)

Below are the details for additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Have Lived a Thousand Lives. I Have Loved a Thousand Loves . . . Because I Read

George R. R. Martin? Gloria Swanson? C. S. Lewis? A. A. Pape? Vada B. Reese? Apocryphal?

Detail of painting titled “Romeo and Juliet” by Frank Dicksee circa 1884

Question for Quote Investigator: A best-selling author once stated:

I have lived a thousand lives. I have loved a thousand loves.

This extraordinary achievement had been accomplished vicariously via reading. Fantasy and science fiction author George R. R. Martin has received credit for this statement. Martin is best known for creating the worlds of “Game of Thrones” and “Wild Cards”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2013 Texas A&M University held a two-day gathering honoring George R. R. Martin who had previously donated his manuscripts, books, and collectibles to the school’s Cushing Library. The festivities included a screening of the first episode of the upcoming third season of “Game of Thrones”. Martin spoke to the audience about his life. Boldface added the excepts by QI:¹

The 64-year-old Martin described growing up poor but being able to go on fantastic adventures by reading science fiction and fantasy.

“That’s where I am today and why I’m here today, because of my love of books,” Martin said. “I was born in Bayonne, New Jersey. I grew up in the projects. I never went anywhere. But I have lived a thousand lives. I have loved a thousand loves. I’ve wandered distant worlds and seen the end of time because I read.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: You Have Not Lived Today Until You Have Done Something for Someone Who Can Never Repay You

John Bunyan? Paul Bunyan? Jacob Morton Braude? Frank Look? Eugene P. Bertin? Frank Ney? Titus? Anonymous?

**Picture of food bundles for charity from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Altruism has been championed with the following saying:

You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.

This statement has been credited to the 17^th-century Puritan preacher John Bunyan who was best known for authoring the religious allegory “The Pilgrim’s Progress”. The statement has also been ascribed to the North American lumberjack folk hero Paul Bunyan. However, I am skeptical. I have never seen a solid citation. Also, the phrasing sounds too modern for John Bunyan. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence supporting the attributions to John Bunyan or Paul Bunyan. QI conjectures that the incorrect linkage to John Bunyan occurred because individuals misread the text of a 1962 collection titled “Lifetime Speaker’s Encyclopedia” by Jacob Morton Braude.

Most of the quotations in the book were accompanied with attributions. But anonymous quotations specified no author. Here were four contiguous items. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

2483. You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.

2484. He who bestows his goods upon the poor, Shall have as much again; and ten times more. —John Bunyan

2485, Every man who will not have softening of the heart must at last have softening of the brain. —G. K. Chesterton

2486. Give freely to him that deserveth well, and asketh nothing; and that is a way of giving to thyself. —Thomas Fuller

Here is a scan showing part of a book page.

The first quotation was anonymous, and the second was credited to John Bunyan. Unfortunately, some readers incorrectly assigned both of these quotations to John Bunyan. This mistake corresponds to a known error mechanism in which an inattentive reader credits a statement to a well-known person whose name appears nearby.

The ascription to Paul Bunyan was probably caused by confusion between similar names.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Have Each Continued To Believe That the Other Will Do Better Tomorrow

Robert Mitchum? Gloria Pitzer? Lloyd Robson? Apocryphal?

Two golden rings symbolizing marriage from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: A movie star was once asked about the impressive longevity of his marriage, and he replied that the two partners displayed mutual forbearance. Each partner believed that the other would do better tomorrow.

This statement has been attributed to Golden-Age Hollywood actor Robert Mitchum, but I do not know the precise phrasing, and I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Robert Mitchum starred in many films including The Sundowners (1960), Cape Fear (1962), and Ryan’s Daughter (1970). In March 1971 “Reader’s Digest” magazine published the following item under the title “Marriage Counsel”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Screen actor Robert Mitchum, asked what had made his marriage of 30 years last when so many had failed, replied, “Mutual forbearance. We have each continued to believe that the other will do better tomorrow.”
—“The David Frost Show,” Westinghouse Broadcasting Co.

QI has not seen the episode of “The David Frost Show” containing the quotation; hence, the accuracy of this information is dependent on the veracity of the item in the “Reader’s Digest”.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

George Carlin? Elsie Robinson? Eddie Schwartz? Jan M. Carroll? Gordie Spear? Anonymous?

Group of silhouettes representing a crowd from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: When foolish people group together the results are often terrible. Here are two versions of a cautionary adage:

(1) Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
(2) Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large group.

This saying has been credited to U.S. comedian George Carlin, but I have not seen a solid citation, and I am skeptical of this attribution. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that George Carlin wrote or spoke this statement. Carlin received credit in 2000, but the saying entered circulation decades earlier.

QI believes that the statement evolved over time. In 1930 the widely syndicated columnist by Elsie Robinson published the following partially matching statement with flawed grammar. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Don’t underrate “single track minds.” Don’t underestimate the power of stupid, stubborn people with one idea can-and often does-put it all over a brilliant citizen with a million.

On April 28, 1959 a full match appeared in a column published in the “Minneapolis Morning Tribune” of Minnesota:²

Day Brightener: Eddie Schwartz is distributing cards bearing this motto: Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.

The fact that the saying was on a card indicated that the originator was anonymous. Two days later the saying appeared in a column by Gordie Spear in a Miles City, Montana newspaper:³

In closing, let me remind you—Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: AI Researchers Are Trying To Reach the Moon by Climbing the Tallest Trees

Hubert Dreyfus? Stuart Dreyfus? Gary Marcus? Dave Akin? Ernest Davis? Aesop?

Picture of a full moon between tree branches from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Recent advances in artificial intelligence (AI) have been remarkable, but detractors contend that current approaches are inadequate and progress will soon reach a plateau.

Critics of AI research have used the following vivid analogy: You cannot reach the moon by climbing a tall tree or a ladder. This type of criticism has been attributed to the philosopher Hubert Dreyfus and the cognitive scientist Gary Marcus, but I do not know the precise phrasing, and I do not have a citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1965 Hubert Dreyfus published a sharply critical report titled “Alchemy and Artificial Intelligence” for the RAND Corporation, a prominent think tank. Dreyfus asserted that human-level intelligence required properties such as “fringe consciousness” and “ambiguity tolerance” which could not be implemented with digital computers.

Hence, Dreyfus insisted that AI researchers using digital computers would fail in their attempt to build systems displaying human-level intelligence. Dreyfus used two striking analogies to illustrate the pointlessness of these efforts. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

An alchemist would surely have considered it rather pessimistic and petty to insist that, since the creation of quicksilver, he had produced many beautifully colored solutions but not a speck of gold; he would probably have considered such a critic extremely unfair. Similarly, the person who is hypnotized by the moon and is inching up those last branches toward the top of the tree would consider it reactionary of someone to shake the tree and yell, “Come down!”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Prediction About AI Systems: The Range of Problems They Can Handle Will Be Coextensive With the Range To Which the Human Mind Has Been Applied

Herbert A. Simon? Allen Newell? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: In the 1950s a pair of prominent researchers made several provocative predictions about artificial intelligence. The researchers believed that a computer program would become the world chess champion within a decade. They also believed that most psychological theories in the future would take the form of computer programs.

Today, achieving artificial general intelligence (AGI) is the controversial goal of trillion dollar companies. The 1950s researchers envisioned AI systems whose ability to handle problems was “coextensive with the range to which the human mind has been applied”.

Would you please help me identify the researchers and determine the precise predictions?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Herbert A. Simon, winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics in 1978, delivered a speech in 1957 at a meeting of the Operations Research Society of America. Simon’s address was based on a paper that he co-authored with computer scientist Allen Newell and published in 1958. The paper included the following four predictions:¹

1. That within ten years a digital computer will be the world’s chess champion, unless the rules bar it from competition.

2. That within ten years a digital computer will discover and prove an important new mathematical theorem.

3. That within ten years a digital computer will write music that will be accepted by critics as possessing considerable aesthetic value.

4. That within ten years most theories in psychology will take the form of computer programs, or of qualitative statements about the characteristics of computer programs.

Simon and Newell also made a more general prediction in their 1958 article. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:

. . . there are now in the world machines that think, that learn, and that create. Moreover, their ability to do these things is going to increase rapidly until—in a visible future—the range of problems they can handle will be coextensive with the range to which the human mind has been applied.

Regarding the first prediction, a computer did not beat the world chess champion in 1958; however, in 1997 the Deep Blue chess computer did beat world chess champion Garry Kasparov in a six-game match.²

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Admire and Crave Competence In Any Field From Adultery to Zoology

H. L. Mencken? Alistair Cooke? Apocryphal?

**Picture of wood type used in letterpress printing from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent journalist once celebrated the display of competence in any discipline from A to Z by saying something like the following:

I admire and crave competence, just simple competence, in any field from adultery to zoology.

The statement has been attributed to the famous curmudgeon H. L. Mencken, but I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: H. L. Mencken did communicate this notion within the preface to his 1943 book titled “Heathen Days 1890-1936”. He used the distinctive phrase “from adultery to zoology”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Indeed, I simply can’t imagine competence as anything save admirable, for it is very rare in this world, and especially in this great Republic, and those who have it in some measure, in any art or craft from adultery to zoology, are the only human beings I can think of who will be worth the oil it will take to fry them in Hell.

The concise version of this statement appeared in the 1999 citation presented further below. Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.