There Is One Thing In This World That Money Can’t Buy, The Wag Of a Dog’s Tail

Josh Billings? Henry Wheeler Shaw? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: A dog wagging its tail energetically produces joy in my heart. The dog is usually expressing genuine enthusiasm. A well-known writer once said that money could not buy a wagging tail. Would you please help me to identify the writer and find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In the 1870s popular humorist Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw) published an annual series called “Farmer’s Allminax” which parodied the long-lived periodical “Farmers’ Almanac”. In 1879 Billings published a collection under the tile “Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not”. He included an illustration (shown above) of an unhappy and uncooperative dog resisting the tug of a leash in front of a store called “J. Barkis & Co.” for dog fanciers. The script caption employed intentional misspellings. Here is a transcription followed by a version using standard spelling. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:^[1] 1879, Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not by Josh Billings, Section Year: 1872, Quote Page 4, G. W. Carleton & Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

I thank the Lord that thare iz one thing in this world that money kant buy, and that iz,— the wag ov a dogs tail.
Yure Unkle, Josh Billings

I thank the Lord that there is one thing in this world that money can’t buy, and that is,— the wag of a dog’s tail.
Your Uncle, Josh Billings

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

In 1864 Josh Billings published a newspaper column in which he expressed appreciation for a dog with a wagging tail:^[2] 1864 January 6, The Luzerne Union, Josh Billings on Dogs, Quote Page 1, Column 4, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

I don’t really luv a Yaller dog, nor a mad dog, but with these tew unfortunate excepshuns, it is dredful hard work for me tew sa a hard word agin a dog; the wag ov their tails is what takes me.

I don’t really love a Yellow dog, nor a mad dog, but with these two unfortunate exceptions, it is dreadful hard work for me to say a hard word against a dog; the wag of their tails is what takes me.

In 1866 the saying immediately above appeared in the collection “Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings”.^[3] 1866, Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings: With Comic Illustrations, Chapter 21: On Dogs, Quote Page 65, Carleton Publisher, New York. (ProQuest)

In 1870 Billings published a column that somewhat contradicted the saying under examination because Billings presented a method to elicit a wagging tail:^[4] 1870 July 22, Leavenworth Daily Commercial, The Josh Billings Papers, Quote Page 2, Column 3, Leavenworth, Kansas. (Newspapers_com)

… the yellowest and meanest dog in the United States, wags hiz tail if yu throw him but a burnt crust.

… the yellowest and meanest dog in the United States, wags his tail if you throw him but a burnt crust.

In 1874 “Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax” printed the following question and answer:^[5]1874, Josh Billings’ Farmer’s Allminax For the Year of Our Lord 1874, Month: September of 1874, Quote Page 23, Published by G. W. Carleton & Company, New York. (Google Books Full … Continue reading

Q.—Define honesty?
A.—The wag ov a dogs tail.

In 1874 the remark about using a burnt crust to obtain a wagging tail appeared in the collection “Everybody’s Friend, Or Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor”.^[6]1874, Everybody’s Friend, Or Josh Billing’s Encyclopedia and Proverbial Philosophy of Wit and Humor, Chapter: Answers to Correspondents: Josh Replies to Miller, Quote Page 500, American … Continue reading

In 1877 “Josh Billings’ Trump Kards: Blue Glass Philosophy” published the following related saying:^[7] 1877, Josh Billings’ Trump Kards: Blue Glass Philosophy, Chapter 14: A Ghost, Quote Page 40, G. W. Carleton & Company, New York. (Google Boks Full View) link

Munny will buy a pretty good dog, but it wont buy the wag ov hiz tale.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.

In 1879 Josh Billings published “Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not” which contained the saying under examination as shown previously in this article.

In 1882 “The Postman” periodical of London printed a version of the saying while crediting Billings:^[8] 1882 July, The Postman: A House to House Evangel, Papers per Nathaniel Blunt, Start Page 100, Quote Page 101, Column 2, London, England. (Google Books Full View) link

Josh Billings has found one thing that money cannot buy, and that is the wag of a dog’s tail. It is an honest expression of opinion on the part of the dog.

In 1883 Francis S. Smith published a biography titled “Life and Adventures of Josh Billings” together with one hundred aphorisms from the humorist. The saying appeared with a slightly different phrasing and spelling:^[9]1883, Life and Adventures of Josh Billings: With a Characteristic Sketch of the Humorist by Francis S. Smith, Section: One Hundred Aphorisms, Quote Page 69, G. W. Carleton & Co., New York. … Continue reading

I thank the Lord that thare iz one thing in this world that money wont buy—and that iz, the wag ov a dog’s tale.

I thank the Lord that their is one thing in this world that money won’t buy—and that is, the wag of a dog’s tail.

Josh Billings died in 1885. The children’s magazine “St. Nicholas” published the following in 1895:^[10] 1895 November, St. Nicholas, Volume 23, Number 1, Three Dogs by Laurence Hutton, Start Page 59, Quote Page 59, Column 1, The Century Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link

It was Mr. “Josh Billings,” I know, who said that in the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy, to wit: the wag of a dog’s tail.

In 1928 “The Rotarian” published a piece by George Clammer containing the following:^[11] 1928 January, The Rotarian, Rotary and Other Things by George Clammer, Start Page 6, Quote Page 7, Column 3, Rotary International, Chicago, Illinois. (Google Books Full View) link

Among the gems picked up in some fifty years of searching, this from Josh Billings: “There is one thing which money cannot buy: The wag of a dog’s tail!”

In 1952 Franklin Pierce Adams’s “FPA Book of Quotations” included the following entry:^[12] 1952, FPA Book of Quotations, Selected by Franklin Pierce Adams, Section: Dog, Quote Page 256, Funk & Wagnalls Company, New York. (Verified on paper)

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy—to wit, the wag of a dog’s tail.
—JOSH BILLINGS (1818-1885)

In conclusion, humorist Josh Billings (pseudonym of Henry Wheeler Shaw) deserves credit for the saying he published in the 1879 collection “Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not”. The original statement contained deliberate misspellings. Unsurprisingly, the transmission over time produced a variety of phrasings and spellings.

Image Notes: Public domain illustration and caption from the 1879 book “Old Probability: Perhaps Rain—Perhaps Not” by Josh Billings. Image has been resized.

(Great thanks to K. Baldwin whose inquiry indirectly inspired QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Baldwin asked about the famous saying “Money can’t buy happiness”, and QI was sidetracked when he encountered this saying about wagging tail.)