Excuse My Dust

Dorothy Parker? Hudson Six Owner? Alexander Woollcott? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker was once asked to create an epitaph for her tombstone. Apparently, she crafted several different candidates for inscription over the years: 1) Excuse My Dust 2) Here Lies the Body of Dorothy Parker. Thank God! 3) This Is On …

It Seems As If Anything I Like Is Either Illegal, Immoral, or Fattening

Alexander Woollcott? W. C. Fields? Frank Rand of St. Louis? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The candor of my favorite saying makes it wonderfully humorous. Here are three versions I have seen: All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything in life that’s any fun is either immoral, illegal …

She Speaks Eighteen Languages, and Can’t Say “No” in Any of Them

Who Said the Quote? Dorothy Parker? Richard Henry Little? Alexander Woollcott? Who was the Polyglot? Winifred Stackville Stoner? Merle Oberon? Dear Quote Investigator: My question differs from most. Here is a quotation of admiration with a stinger that I would like you to investigate: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say “No” in any …

Legend: The Vanishing Lady and the Vanishing Hotel Room

Alexander Woollcott? Karl Harriman? Marie Belloc-Lowndes? Nancy Vincent McClelland? Kenneth Herford? Dear Quote Investigator: I recently watched an excellent British film from the 1950s called “So Long at the Fair” and was fascinated by the plot [SLW] [SLI]. When I searched the net I discovered that I was not the only person intrigued by the …

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