Quote Investigator® – Page 149

Quote Origin: Signed His Name With April Fool and Forgot to Write the Letter

Henry Ward Beecher? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Are you familiar with the amusing anecdote about an “April Fool” letter sent to the famous orator Henry Ward Beecher. Would you please examine the tale’s provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI was published on April 27, 1870 in the “Daily Evening Traveller” of Boston, Massachusetts. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

SIGNING ONE’S NAME.—Mr. Beecher sends the following note to the N. Y. Ledger:

“MY DEAR MR. BONNER, —I have just received a curious letter from Michigan, and I give it to you verbatim:

“OWASSO CITY, Mich., 1870.
APRIL FOOL”

I have heard of men who wrote letters and forgot to sign their name, but never before met a case in which a man signed his name and forgot to write the letter. H.W.B.

Thanks to top researcher Barry Popik who located the citation above.

The text indicated that the tale was reprinted from “The New York Ledger”; hence, an earlier instance exists, but QI has not located it. The database GenealogyBank includes digital scans of “The New York Ledger” from 1856 to 1868. But the target date of 1870 lies outside of this range. Some future researcher may find an earlier instance.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Research Is the Process of Going Up Alleys to See If They’re Blind

Marston Bates? Barstow Bates? Plutarch? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A path-breaking researcher must pursue many leads that do not work out. Sometimes he or she must exhaustively test a set of possibilities with the foreknowledge that only a handful will yield positive results. That is why I embrace the following insightful saying:

Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they’re blind.

This statement is usually attributed to the prominent zoologist Marston Bates, but I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please trace this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI believes that the ascription to Marston Bates was a mistake. The expression was actually coined by a business consultant named Barstow Bates, and the two similar names caused confusion and error.

The earliest evidence located by QI was published in “Business Management” magazine in October 1967. The article “How to Generate Ideas for New Products” stated that some novel ideas would be rejected by management. This judgement should be accepted, and the search for better ideas should continue. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

Don’t worry over the cost of being told “Forget it.” That decision is probably going to save you more than it cost. “Research,” says Barstow Bates, president, New Product Services, Inc., “is the process of going up alleys to see if they’re blind.”

The magazine editor felt that the saying was noteworthy, and it was displayed as a pull-quote. The expression also attracted the attention of the staff of “Quote Magazine”, a publication that specialized in collecting and reprinting interesting contemporary quotations. The words of Barstow Bates appeared in the November 1967 issue:²

Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they’re blind. — BARSTOW BATES quoted in “How to Generate New Ideas for New Products,” Business Management.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Love Never Dies of Starvation, But Often of Indigestion

Ninon de Lenclos? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Ninon de Lenclos (also L’enclos) was a famous French author and courtesan who died in 1705. Her friends valued her perceptiveness, and one man asked her for guidance because he was infatuated with his paramour. Lenclos warned that his ardor would cool if he spent too much time with the lady. There exist at least three different versions of her advice:

1) Love never dies of want, but often of indigestion.
2) Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion.
3) Love never dies from desire but often from indigestion.

Would you please clarify this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The three statements above are alternative translations of a remark written by Ninon de Lenclos. A collection of her letters in French was published in a 1750 edition. The following statement appeared in letter number forty-one:¹

L’amour ne meurt jamais de besoin, mais souvent d’indigestion.

The first expression listed by the questioner was a reasonable direct translation. The second statement was less direct but more stylish. The French remark did not mention “starvation”, but that word provided an appropriate semantic complement to the word “indigestion”.

Here are additional selected citations.

Quote Origin: If In the Last Few Years You Haven’t Discarded a Major Opinion or Acquired a New One, Check Your Pulse. You May Be Dead

Gelett Burgess? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Anyone who wishes to remain intellectually vital must be willing to challenge his or her own opinions. Viewpoints should evolve and flawed notions should be replaced. I came across the following cogent expression:

If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

These words have been credited to a humorist, editor, and art critic named Gelett Burgess. Today, Burgess’s quirky fame rests on the word “blurb” which he coined and on a nonsense verse about a “purple cow” which he crafted.

I have not been able to find a citation for the above quotation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1937 Gelett Burgess published a playful book of advice titled “Look Eleven Years Younger” which included a partial match for the expression. The volume actually contained two versions of the saying. The second instance was printed in a summary section at the end of a chapter. Numbers have been added to this excerpt:¹

1) When you find you haven’t discarded a major opinion for years, or acquired a new one, you should stop and investigate to see if you’re not growing senile.

2) If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one investigate and see if you’re not growing senile.

The first part of quotation number two above was a close match to the saying under investigation, but the second part suggested that inflexible individuals might be facing senility instead of death. QI has not found a superior match in the writings of Burgess although future researchers may discover such a match.

Burgess died in 1951, and QI believes that the modern “pulse” saying evolved from his words. The earliest instance appeared in 1977 in the pages of “Forbes” magazine where it was ascribed to Burgess. QI does not know where “Forbes” found this variant.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If You Want To Tell People the Truth, You’d Better Make Them Laugh or They’ll Kill You

George Bernard Shaw? Oscar Wilde? Cecile Starr? Billy Wilder? Richard Pryor? James L. Brooks? Dustin Hoffman? Charles Ludlam?

Question for Quote Investigator: Dramatists have discovered that challenging material often elicits hostility or boredom. This is dangerous for creators because jobs in the entertainment industry are precarious. Yet, a provocative production leavened with humor is often embraced by audiences. The following adage now circulates on Broadway and in Hollywood:

1) If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.
2) If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.

The playwrights George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, and Charles Ludlam have all been credited with this saying. What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in a 1951 article in “The Saturday Review” by critic and film historian Cecile Starr discussing a documentary film festival. When Starr commented on the works of one filmmaker she mentioned the adage and ascribed it to George Bernard Shaw who had died a year earlier. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

. . . Shaw’s lively aphorism, “If you want to tell people the truth, you’d better make them laugh or they’ll kill you” . . .

QI has found no substantive support for crediting Oscar Wilde with the saying. He died in 1900 and the expression appeared decades afterwards. There is some good evidence that the well-known director Billy Wilder employed the saying, but the linkage occurred after it was attributed to Shaw. There was also some indirect evidence Charles Ludlam used the expression. The comedian Richard Pryor, actor Dustin Hoffman, and screenwriter James L. Brooks all delivered the line during interviews, but they spoke when it was already in circulation.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Nine Requisites for Contented Living

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe? William D. Smith? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The prominent German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe has been credited with the following group of expressions called: The Nine Requisites for Contented Living:

(1) Health enough to make work a pleasure.
(2) Wealth enough to support your needs.
(3) Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
(4) Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
(5) Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
(6) Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor.
(7) Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.
(8) Faith enough to make real the things of God.
(9) Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.

I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has not found any substantive ascriptions to Goethe who died in 1832. The spurious connection may have been established by the misreading of an ambiguous passage published in 1914. Details are given further below.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in an article titled “A New Year’s Greeting” by Reverend William D. Smith that was printed in a religious periodical called “The Christian Work and Evangelist” in January 1904. In the following passage alphabetical labels and boldface have been added to facilitate the comparison of the two sets of expressions. In addition, the text has been reformatted into multiple separate lines instead of three paragraphs. If you wish to see the original 1904 format please click on the link in the bibliographical note:¹

(A) I wish you Health enough to make work a pleasure;
(B) Wealth enough to supply all necessary needs;
(C) Grit enough to battle with difficulty and overcome it;
(D) Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them;
(E) and Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.

(F) I wish you a Cheerfulness that shall make others glad;
(G) a Charity that shall see some good in your neighbor;
(H) a Love that shall move you to be useful and helpful;
(I) a Faith that shall make real the things of God;
(J) and a Hope that shall remove all anxious fear concerning the Future.

(K) I wish you the Dignity which befits the children of God;
(L) the Humility which is needed in every follower of Christ;
(M) the Prayerfulness which develops and enriches the soul;
(N) the Push and Progress which were manifested in the life and labors of our Saviour;
(O) and the Piety and Perseverance which come from the abiding presence and influence of the Divine Spirit.

In the text above there were fifteen elements instead of nine, but a close correspondence can be established between the two sets. 1 and A both discussed Health; 2 and B discussed Wealth; 3 and C matched, but they employed two different terms: Strength and Grit; 4 and D discussed Grace; 5 and E discussed Patience; there was no match for F which discussed Cheerfulness; 6 and G discussed Charity; 7 and H discussed Love; 8 and I discussed Faith; 9 and J discussed Hope; there were no matches for the remaining items K, L, M, N, and O.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: That Which Can Be Destroyed By the Truth Should Be

Carl Sagan? P. C. Hodgell? Kirien? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There exists a family of sayings that is popular in the community of skeptics. Here are four examples:

1) That which can be destroyed by the truth should be.
2) Anything that can be destroyed by the truth should be.
3) Anything that can be destroyed by the truth, most certainly should be.
4) If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth.

This expression has been attributed to the astronomer and science communicator Carl Sagan, but it has also been credited to the award-winning fantasy author P. C. Hodgell. Would you please help to dispel the confusion?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has located no substantive evidence that Carl Sagan said or wrote this expression. He died in 1996, and an instance was attributed to him many years later in 2012.

The earliest strong match known to QI appeared in the 1994 novel “Seeker’s Mask” by P. C. Hodgell (Patricia C. Hodgell). In the following scene two characters named Jame and Kirien were conversing, and the adage was spoken by Kirien. Boldface has been added to excerpts:¹

Jame winced, remembering the awful revelation of her own soul-image. “Perhaps,” she said, “we can’t endure to know ourselves too well. Perhaps, the truth can sometimes destroy.”

“That which can be destroyed by the truth should be,” said that implacable voice. Could any Arrin-ken have spoken with more authority? “Of what would you choose to remain in ignorance?”

It is important to recognize that a quotation from a novel sometimes represents the opinion of a character and not the belief of an author. Indeed, the fictional person expressing the thought may grow and change dramatically during a story arc; hence, even that person may disown the quotation.

The fantasy backdrop in the novel was complex. The prefatory section of the work provided the following one-line descriptions for the dialog participants:

Kirien — the Jaran Lordan or Heir, a scrollswoman
Jame — Jamethiel Priest’s-Bane, Torisen’s twin sister

Hodgell does not recall hearing the adage before she penned it for “Seeker’s Mask”. She kindly provided QI with the following gloss for the scene:²

Jame is speaking to Kirien, a young scholar (she of the “implacable voice”). Anxiety has pulled the latter into the academic equivalent of a berserker fit — a ruthless drive to lay bare the truth, regardless of the cost. She is about to force Jame to face some facts about herself at the worst possible time, in the middle of a crisis.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Noblest Search of Today Is the Search for Excellence

Lyndon B. Johnson? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Lyndon B. Johnson was the President of the U.S. during the 1960s. I am having a difficult time trying to verify the following uplifting quotation which has been attributed to him:

The noblest search is the search for excellence.

What do you think?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In April 1964 a strongly matching statement appeared in a widely-distributed magazine called “This Week” which was inserted into Sunday newspapers. The article containing the quotation was titled “Words to Live By: The Challenge We Face” with a byline of Lyndon B. Johnson.¹ Boldface has been added to excerpts:²

In a world that sometimes seems vexed by change and wearied by doubt, there is little need of the next-best, the almost-completed and the nearly-as-good-as.

The noblest search of today is the search for excellence. In every endeavor, there simply cannot be allowed any lessening in this search.

In conclusion, QI believes that Johnson can be credited with the remark in the article. Of course, Johnson was very busy in 1964; hence, it was possible that parts of the article were ghost written.

Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Julia Hyman whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.

Update History: On April 24, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

1964 April 26, The Des Moines Sunday Register, Section: This Week (Sunday Newspaper Supplement published by United Newspapers Magazine Corporation), Words To Live By: The Challenge We Face by Lyndon B. Johnson, Quote Page 2, Des Moines, Iowa. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
1964 April 26, The Salt Lake Tribune, Section: This Week (Sunday Newspaper Supplement published by United Newspapers Magazine Corporation), Words To Live By: The Challenge We Face by Lyndon B. Johnson, Quote Page 2, Salt Lake City, Utah. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎

Quote Origin: I Would Never Die for My Beliefs Because I Might Be Wrong

Bertrand Russell? Ayn Rand? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Recently, while reading my Facebook feed I saw a graphic from a major media organization (The Economist) that displayed a picture of the influential philosopher Bertrand Russell coupled with the following quotation:

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Are these really the words of Russell? I could not find a proper citation.

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in a piece by the well-known columnist Leonard Lyons in the “New York Post” in June 1964. After mentioning that Bertrand Russell was still politically active at the age of 92, Lyons discussed an exchange he had with the famous intellectual in the past. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

Incidentally, I once asked Russell if he was willing to die for his beliefs. “Of course not,” he replied. “After all, I may be wrong . . .”

The phrasing above differed from the version given by the questioner because Lyons and Russell were engaged in a question and answer interaction. But Russell’s response in context provided the match.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If the Human Brain Were So Simple That We Could Understand It, We Would Be So Simple That We Couldn’t

Lyall Watson? George Edgin Pugh? Emerson M. Pugh? Ken Hill?

Question for Quote Investigator: The European Union has launched a ten year scientific venture called the Human Brain Project to build a large-scale neural simulation of the brain. Google has hired the top computer scientist and inventor Ray Kurzweil who has espoused a strategy of reverse-engineering the brain to help build systems with artificial intelligence. These goals are audacious, but I am reminded of a logic-twisting skeptical remark:

If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn’t.

This notion has been attributed to new age biologist Lyall Watson, physicist George Edgin Pugh, and his father Emerson M. Pugh. Would you please search for its origin?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in the 1977 book “The Biological Origin of Human Values” by George Edgin Pugh who was a nuclear physicist and the president of a company called Decision-Science Applications. The statement was used as a chapter epigraph with a footnote that specified an ascription to Emerson M. Pugh who was the father of the author. Both the father and son were physicists, and Emerson was a professor at The Carnegie Institute of Technology:¹

If the human brain were so simple
That we could understand it,
We would be so simple
That we couldn’t.

Emerson M. Pugh *
* Author’s note: Quote from my father around 1938.

The claim in the footnote pushed the date of the quotation’s formulation back to the 1930s, but QI has not yet found any published evidence before 1977.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.