Quote Investigator® – Page 20

Quote Origin: One More Drink, and I’m Under the Host

Dorothy Parker? Bennett Cerf? Richard Martin Stern? Playboy’s Party Jokes? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: The famous wit Dorothy Parker had trouble controlling her use of alcohol. According to legend she was asked about her experiences at a party, and she replied:

One more drink and I’d have been under the host!

Parker’s line was a ribald variant of the idiom “drink (someone) under the table”. Parker has also been credited with a more elaborate verse on this topic. Here is an example:

I cannot drink martinis
Only one or two at the most
After three I’m under the table
After four I’m under my host

I am skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1937 a thematic precursor appeared in a widely distributed gossip column called “In New York” by George Ross. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

At Mario’s Mirador, they were discussing liquor and its effect on the human anatomy. “Two drinks,” declared one, “and I’m under the table.” “That’s nothing,” a rival boasted, “two drinks and the table’s under me.”

In 1944 publisher and raconteur Bennett Cerf released the book “Try and Stop Me” which included a section about Dorothy Parker containing several anecdotes:²

Somebody asked her if she had enjoyed a cocktail party at which she was seen. “Enjoyed it!” she purred. “One more drink and I’d have been under the host!”

At a society dinner she entered the dining room alongside a beautiful and catty lady-playwright. The playwright stepped aside. “Age before beauty,” she said sweetly. “Pearls before swine,” responded Miss Parker, just as sweetly, and sailed in to as hearty a dinner as ever she ate.

Thus, Dorothy Parker was the first person to employ the quip with the phrase “under the host”.

A separate Quote Investigator article about the “pearls before swine” quip is available here.

The first instance of the verse known to QI appeared in 1954 within a section of “Playboy” magazine called “Playboy’s Party Jokes”. The creator was anonymous, and Dorothy Parker was not mentioned:³

Martinis, my girl, are deceiving:
Take two at the very most.
Take three and you’re under the table.
Take four and you’re under the host.

QI believes that Dorothy Parker is the leading candidate for author of the line ascribed to her by Bennett Cerf. QI conjectures that the verse was inspired by the line; however, the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Fame Is Proof That The People Are Gullible

Ralph Waldo Emerson? Elbert Hubbard? Anonymous?

Red carpet symbolizing fame from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: New forms of celebrity have been created in recent years. TikTok and YouTube have produced influencers. Yet, popularity has become remarkably transient. I am reminded of the following harsh comment:

(1) Fame is proof that the people are gullible.
(2) Fame is proof that people are gullible.

This saying has been attributed to nineteenth-century transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson. However, I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please help me uncover evidence?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in 1897 within “The Philistine: A Periodical of Protest” which was edited and largely written by essayist and aphorist Elbert Hubbard. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Fame is proof that the people are gullible,” said Emerson. And so a vast fortune is usually proof that the owner has discovered a weakness of humanity and bet on it.

Thus, Elbert Hubbard credited Ralph Waldo Emerson. Yet, researchers have examined the writings and speeches of Emerson and have been unable to locate this statement. So the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: People Have Become the Tools of Their Tools

Henry David Thoreau? Winston Churchill? Marshall McLuhan? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Automation has been occurring for centuries, but the modern age has taken the trend to new extremes. The culture of humanity has shifted dramatically because of the tools created by technology. Here are two versions of a pertinent adage:

(1) People have become the tools of their tools.
(2) Men have become the tools of their tools.

This saying has been credited to U.S. naturalist and essayist Henry David Thoreau. Also, I think media theorist Marshall McLuhan said something similar. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1854 Henry David Thoreau published “Walden” which included the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

But lo! men have become the tools of their tools. The man who independently plucked the fruits when he was hungry is become a farmer; and he who stood under a tree for shelter, a housekeeper. We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven.

Thus, Thoreau was writing about agriculture and domiciles which were two early examples of the influence of technology on culture.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: “I Accept the Universe” “Gad! She’d Better!”

Margaret Fuller? Thomas Carlyle? Henry James Sr.? William James? Ralph Waldo Emerson? Horace Greely? Julia Ward Howe? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous nineteenth-century thinker once delivered a grand affirmation of the universe:

“I accept the universe.”

Another well-known intellectual heard about this pronouncement and attempted to puncture the elevated tone of the avowal:

“Gad! she’d better!”

The expression “Gad” is a minced oath for “God”. The first line has been attributed to the teacher, journalist, and transcendentalist Margaret Fuller, and the second line has been attributed to the essayist and historian Thomas Carlyle. I have been unable to find solid evidence for these remarks. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The statements given above appeared in the 1902 book “The Varieties of Religious Experience” by influential U.S. philosopher and educator William James; however, James was not a direct witness to either statement. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“I accept the universe” is reported to have been a favorite utterance of our New England transcendentalist Margaret Fuller; and when some one repeated this phrase to Thomas Carlyle, his sardonic comment is said to have been: “Gad! she’d better!” At bottom the whole concern of both morality and religion is with the manner of our acceptance of the universe. Do we accept it only in part and grudgingly, or heartily and altogether?

The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in a letter dated January 28, 1848 sent from Evert Duyckinck to his brother. The letter described a discussion about Margaret Fuller held between U.S. theologian Henry James Sr. and English historian Thomas Carlyle. The letter referred to “Margaret Fooler” instead of “Margaret Fuller” because it was representing the strong Scottish accent of Carlyle. The excerpt below begins with a remark attributed to James Sr. which is followed by a remark attributed to Carlyle:²

“When I last saw Margaret Fuller she told me she had got to this conclusion-to accept the Universe.” “God, [deleted] Accept the Universe, Margaret Fooler accept the universe! (with a loud guffaw) Why perhaps upon the whole it is the best thing she could do-it is very kind of Margaret Fooler!” And whenever Carlyle met James he told him “So! Margaret Fooler is going to accept the Universe!”

The letter excerpt above appeared in the scholarly journal “American Literature” in 1966. The author of the article referenced the copy of the 1848 letter held in the Duyckinck Collection of the New York Public Library. James Sr. gave the anecdote to Parke Godwin who relayed it to Evert Duyckinck who placed the tale in the letter. Hence, this evidence was indirect.

Henry James Sr. was the father of William James. Thus, the version of the tale in the 1902 book may have been based on the testimony of James Sr. to his son William.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Doctors Are Paid To Talk Nonsense With the Patient Until Nature Heals Or the Remedies Kill

Voltaire? Molière? Jean Scholastique Pitton? Nicolas Frémont d’Ablancourt? Pierre Ortigue de Vaumorière? Benjamin Franklin? Laurence Sterne? Samuel Johnson? Ben Jonson? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A family of sayings presents a humorously cynical viewpoint about medicine. Here are four examples:

(1) Physicians sit by your bedside till they kill you, or nature cures you.

(2) A physician picks our pockets by talking unintelligible stuff in a sick man’s chamber, till nature cures or medicines kill him.

(3) Doctors are paid for talking jargon to their patients, till either nature cures, or their medicines kill ’em.

(4) The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

The famous French philosopher and satirist Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has received credit for this expression. Also, the prominent French playwright Molière (Jean-Baptiste Poquelin) has received credit. However, I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1678 book “Les Eaux Chaudes de La Ville D’Aix” (“The Hot Waters of the City of Aix”) by French writer and historian Jean Scholastique Pitton. The character Eraste stated that medicine was a strange profession. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

… où l’on êtourdissoit souvent un pauvre malade de raisons frivoles de son mal, & d’un flus de paroles, mêlées avec des termes qui dans le fond ne signifient rien, pour l’amuser par l’usage de certains remedes bons ou mauvais en attendant que la nature le tue ou le guerisse.

Below is one possible translation:

… where a poor patient was often dazed with frivolous reasons for his ailment, & a flurry of words, mixed with terms that basically meant nothing, to amuse him by the use of certain good or bad remedies while waiting for nature to kill or cure him.

Thus, Pitton helped to popularize the expression, but he did not take credit for it.

Molière died in 1673, and he tentatively received credit by 1705. QI believes that that current evidence connecting Molière to the saying is weak.

Voltaire was born in 1694 and died in 1778. Hence, the saying was circulating before his birth. The saying is not listed in the helpful reference “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille.² Voltaire was given credit in 1842 which is quite late. QI believes Voltaire did not create this quip, and there is no substantive evidence that he employed it.

The irregular spelling in the French excerpts in this article are based on the original texts. Links in the bibliographic notes lead to scans of the texts. Please notify QI of typos. Passages in French are followed by English translations.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They Lie To Us, We Know They’re Lying, They Know We Know They’re Lying But They Keep Lying Anyway, and We Keep Pretending To Believe Them

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn? Elena Gorokhova? Marah Ellis Ryan? Rex Stout? Arleigh A. Burke? Anonymous?

Matryoshka doll symbolizing nested lies from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: People living under oppressive rulers know that they are being fed lies, but their responses are limited. Also, the rulers know that the populace contains cynical disbelievers. Yet, the rituals of deception continue:

(1) They lie.
(2) We know they are lying.
(3) They know we know they are lying.
(4) They keep lying.
(5) We keep pretending to believe.

This series of statements has been attributed to anonymous citizens of the former Soviet Union and Eastern Europe during the cold war. It has also been ascribed to the famous Russian writer Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. I have not seen a precise citation; hence, I am uncertain. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has not yet found a match for this series of expressions in the books or speeches of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

A close match appeared in the 2010 book “A Mountain of Crumbs: A Memoir” by Elena Gorokhova who was born in 1955 in Leningrad (now Saint Petersburg). One theme of her memoir was the “game of vranyo”, i.e., the game of pretending. Gorokhova described a set of rules for the game. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The rules are simple: they lie to us, we know they’re lying, they know we know they’re lying but they keep lying anyway, and we keep pretending to believe them.

The quotation above occurred in a section about Gorokhova’s experiences as a teenager, but she did not specify an exact time period for the quotation. Partially matching statements have been circulating for decades, but QI believes that the formulation above should be credited to Gorokhova.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Time Flies; You Cannot; They Pass At Such Irregular Intervals

Mr X of The Royal Magazine? Boys’ Life Magazine? Anonymous?

**Illustration of a stopwatch from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A linguistic puzzle asks the reader to correctly punctuate the following sentence:

Time flies you cannot they pass at such irregular intervals.

A similar puzzle asks the reader to punctuate this sentence:

Time flies you cannot they go too quickly.

Most readers are familiar with the idiom “time flies” which highlights the perception that time passes quickly, but that semantic interpretation is misleading when analyzing the sentences above. Here is one possible solution for each sentence:

Time flies; you cannot; they pass at such irregular intervals.
Time flies; you cannot; they go too quickly.

The word “flies” corresponds to the insects. The word “time” refers to measuring the speed of the insects. Would you please explore the history of this puzzle?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1903 “The Royal Magazine” in London, England published the first sentence, and asked readers to interpret it. The puzzle was posed by the pseudonymous “Mr. X” who also asked readers to supply more brain-twisters. Boldface added to excerpts bi QI:¹

Time flies you cannot they pass at such irregular intervals.

is a very clever catch sentence.

Mr. X is making a collection of puzzling sentences, and will be glad to hear from readers who know of any good ones.

The following month the magazine printed the answer. The interpretation of the phrase “time flies” diverged significantly from its traditional meaning:²

Time flies; you cannot; they pass at such irregular intervals.

(“Time,” of course, being used in the sense of timing a race, and “flies” being the well-known summer insects.)

Based on these citations, the puzzle was popularized by Mr. X. It is possible that Mr. X created this brainteaser. Alternatively, this item was already in circulation and the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Next Best Thing To Being Clever Is Being Able To Quote Someone Who Is

Mary Pettibone Poole? A. A. Milne? Dorothy L. Sayers? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: If you cannot think of something clever to say then you can resort to the next best strategy. You can quote someone else who is clever. This point has been expressed with a concise statement. Would you please help me to determine the creator and find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A matching quip appeared in the 1938 collection of quotations titled “A Glass Eye at a Keyhole” edited by Mary Pettibone Poole. Some of the items in the collection were already in circulation, and some were formulated by Poole. QI conjectures that the following was authored by Poole. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote some one who is.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: To Live Is So Startling, It Leaves But Little Room for Other Occupations

Emily Dickinson? Mabel Loomis Todd? Rumer Godden? Apocryphal?

**Photogravure of Emily Dickinson by artist Laura Coombs Hill**

Question for Quote Investigator: Life can be overwhelming. The flow of experience induces intense sensations and emotions. Changes in the world and in each individual are continuous and unavoidable. Here are two versions of a pertinent observation:

(1) To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
(2) To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations.

This notion has been attributed to the famous nineteenth-century poet Emily Dickinson. Is this attribution correct? Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In the winter of 1871 Emily Dickinson sent a letter to Unitarian minister Thomas Wentworth Higginson who was one of her literary mentors. The letter appeared in the 1894 collection “Letters of Emily Dickinson” edited by Mabel Loomis Todd. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:¹

To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations, though friends are, if possible, an event more fair.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Be Sincere; Be Brief; Be Seated

Franklin D. Roosevelt? James Roosevelt? Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher? William ‘Buster’ Collier Jr.? C. Z. Weiser? Anonymous?

**Empty seats before a speech from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Successful public speaking is both difficult and stressful, but it can be highly rewarding. The following tripartite guidance is both cogent and humorous. Here are two versions:

Be brief, be sincere. and be seated.
Be sincere, be brief, and be seated.

These words have been credited to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, but I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest ascription to Franklin D. Roosevelt located by QI appeared in “The Washington Post” in January 1940. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The other day James Roosevelt opened a talk he made at Hollywood by saying: “My father gave me these hints on speechmaking. Be sincere … be brief … be seated.”

Thus, there is some evidence that F.D.R. employed the expression while conversing with his son James. However, the remark was already circulating before 1940, and it is unlikely that F.D.R. coined it.

For example, in February 1935 U.S. actor Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher appeared on stage in a farce titled “Hollywood Holiday”. After a successful performance there were multiple curtain calls. When Gallagher appeared he delivered a one-line speech:²

Gallagher said his mother had often told him, “When you are called upon to make a speech, always be brief, sincere and be seated.”

It is conceivable that the expression was originally crafted by the mother of Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher, but the existence of other apparently unrelated citations in 1935 suggest to QI that the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.