Quote Investigator® – Page 8 – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: Trust Everybody, But Cut the Cards

Finley Peter Dunne? Martin Dooley? Anonymous?

**Picture of playing cards from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: One should be generous when conveying trust, but one should not be gullible or naïve. One must take precautions and defend oneself. An adage from the domain of card games presents this viewpoint:

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

This notion has been attributed to the U.S. humorist Finley Peter Dunne, but I have not seen a citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Beginning in the 1890s Finley Peter Dunne published newspaper columns in the voice of a fictional Irish bartender named Martin Dooley. The columns used nonstandard spelling to reflect the pronunciation of a recent Irish immigrant. In 1900 Dunne published a book titled “Mr. Dooley’s Philosophy”. A section titled “Casual Observations” included the following item:¹

Thrust ivrybody—but cut th’ ca-ards.

Here is the standard spelling:

Trust everybody—but cut the cards.

Here are three other items from the same page of the book which illustrate the eye dialect. The items are accompanied with renderings in standard English:

’Tis as hard f’r a rich man to enther th’ kingdom iv Hiven as it is f’r a poor man to get out iv Purgatory.

It’s as hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven as it is for a poor man to get out of Purgatory.

Ivry man has his superstitions. If I look at a new moon over me shoulder I get a crick in me neck.

Every man has his superstitions. If I look at a new moon over my shoulder I get a crick in my neck.

If ye dhrink befure siven ye’ll cry befure iliven.

If you drink before seven you’ll cry before eleven.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: What I Learned, I No Longer Know. What Little I Still Know, I Have Guessed

Nicolas Chamfort? Charles de Talleyrand? Catherine Gore? Apocryphal?

**Picture of Forget-Me-Not Flowers from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A student is taught numerous topics during a formal education, yet most details are swiftly forgotten once schooling is completed. A wit composed the following candid remark:

All that I’ve learned, I’ve forgotten. The little that I still know, I’ve guessed.

This saying has been attributed to the French epigrammatist Nicolas Chamfort and the French statesman Charles de Talleyrand. I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help to find the original French statement together with a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Nicolas Chamfort died in 1794, and the following year a multivolume collection of his works was published in Paris. The fourth volume included a section titled “Pensées morales” (“Moral thoughts”) which included the following statement. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Ce que j’ai appris, je ne le sais plus. Le peu que je sais encore, je l’ai deviné.

Here is one possible translation into English:

What I learned, I no longer know. What little I still know, I have guessed.

A similar statement was attributed to Charles de Talleyrand many years later in 1848. QI conjectures that Talleyrand was aware of the Chamfort’s remark, and Talleyrand decided to employ a version of it.

Below is an overview of this family of expressions with dates and attributions:

1795: Ce que j’ai appris, je ne le sais plus. Le peu que je sais encore, je l’ai deviné. (Nicolas Chamfort)

1795: What I learned, I no longer know. What little I still know, I have guessed. (English translation of Chamfort)

1848: What I have been taught, I have forgotten; what I know, I have guessed. (Attributed to Charles de Talleyrand)

1857: What I have learned I no longer know; the little I know I have divined. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1857: What I have been taught, I have forgotten; what I know, I have guessed. (Attributed to Talleyrand)

1860: What I learnt, I have forgotten: what I know, I have guessed. (Attributed to Talleyrand)

1874: Tout ce que j’ai appris, je l’ai oublié; ce que je sais, je l’ai deviné. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1874: Everything I learned, I have forgotten; what I know, I have guessed. (English translation of phrase attributed to Chamfort)

1891: All that I was taught I have forgotten. I remember only what I taught myself. (Attributed to Talleyrand)

1894: What I have been taught I have forgotten; what I know I have guessed. (Attributed to Talleyrand)

1902: What I have learnt I no longer know; what I still know has come to me by intuition. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1903: What I learned I have forgotten. The little that I do know I have guessed. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1933: The little that I do know I have guessed. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1948: What I have learnt I know no longer.What I know I have guessed. (Attributed to Chamfort)

1949: What I have been taught, I have forgotten; what I know, I have guessed. (Attributed to Talleyrand)

1969: What I have learned, I no longer know. The little that I still know, I have guessed. (Attributed to Chamfort)

2008: All that I’ve learned, I’ve forgotten. The little I still know, I’ve guessed. (Attributed to Chamfort)

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Reports of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

Mark Twain? Frank Marshall White? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal?

**Public domain illustration of Mark Twain**

Question for Quote Investigator: A famous anecdote about the humorist Mark Twain occurred when he was an elderly gentleman. A prominent newspaper reported that Twain was either gravely ill or dead. Journalists rushed to learn more about the story, and they found that Twain was still alive and in good health. When Twain was asked about the faulty report he responded with a quip. Here are four versions:

(1) The report of my death was an exaggeration
(2) Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated
(3) The report of my death has been grossly exaggerated
(4) The rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated

Would you please help to dispel the uncertainty about what Twain really said by exploring this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: An entertaining thematic precursor to this quip was written by Mark Twain in 1863 while he was in Virginia City, Nevada. Twain sent a series of letters about his experiences in Nevada to the “Daily Morning Call” of San Francisco, California which published them.¹ One of Twain’s letters² described a false rumor about a local resident’s death. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:³

There was a report about town, last night, that Charles Strong, Esq., Superintendent of the Gould & Curry, had been shot and very effectually killed. I asked him about it at church this morning. He said there was no truth in the rumor.

Another precursor appeared in a short item within “The Daily Examiner” of San Francisco in 1882. The writer was an anonymous journalist:⁴

The rumor in reference to John Davis’ death was greatly exaggerated, and that gentleman was in Oakland to-day, apparently as well as ever.

On June 1, 1897 several newspapers reported that Mark Twain was seriously ill. The “Plainfield Courier-News” of New Jersey⁵ and the “Lebanon Daily News” of Pennsylvania⁶ both credited “The New York Herald” for the pessimistic story:

The sad news comes from London that Mark Twain is grievously ill and possibly dying. Worse still, we are told that his brilliant intellect is shattered and that he is sorely in need of money. Bravely and sturdily he fought up to the last, endeavoring to regain some portion of his lost fortune, and now it seems that his indomitable energy has at last left him and that we are not likely again to have any of those flashes of genius which long ago showed Mark Twain as the greatest living American humorist.

After all, the news from London may be exaggerated, though Mark Twain’s friends in this city are inclined to believe that it is true. For years Mark Twain was one of the most popular authors in this country as well as in Great Britain.

Several journalists attempted to contact Twain in London to determine the truth. The “New York Journal” published a story by journalist Frank Marshall White on the following day, June 2, 1897. Twain provided a rebuttal to the somber news:⁷

Mark Twain was undecided whether to be more amused or annoyed when a Journal representative informed him to-day of the report in New York that he was dying in poverty in London.

He is living in comfort and even luxury in a handsomely furnished house in a beautiful square in Chelsea with his wife and children . . .

The great humorist, while not perhaps very robust, is in the best of health. He said:

“I can understand perfectly how the report of my illness got about. I have even heard on good authority that I was dead. James Ross Clemens, of St. Louis, a cousin of mine, was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness.

“The report of my death was an exaggeration. The report of my poverty is harder to deal with. My friends might know that unless I were actually dying in poverty I should not live in poverty when I am receiving offers to lecture by every mail.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Joke Origin: “Give Me a Cup of Coffee Without Cream” “You’ll Have To Take It Without Milk. We Haven’t Any Cream”

Jean-Paul Sartre? George Carlin? Slavoj Žižek? O. O. McIntyre? Sewell Ford? Billy Wilder? Leo Rosten? Anonymous?

**Picture of a coffee cup with coffee beans from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Philosophers, linguists, and humorists enjoy the following joke about tacit knowledge: A person enters a café and requests coffee without cream. After a delay the waiter returns and says “I’m sorry. We’re out of cream. Would you like to have coffee without milk?”

This joke has been attributed to the philosophers Jean-Paul Sartre and Slavoj Žižek. It also been linked to the humorists George Carlin and Leo Rosten. Would you please explore its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Mansfield News” of Mansfield, Ohio in January 1921. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“Give me a cup of coffee without cream.”
“You’ll have to take it without milk. We haven’t any cream.”
That from Johnny Hines’ new Torchy comedy.

U.S. actor Johnny Hines was a star of the silent film era. He appeared in a series of short films about a redheaded office worker named “Torchy”. The film titles included “Torchy Comes Through” (1920), “Torchy in High” (1920), and “Torchy’s Millions” (1920). The films were based on a series of books by Sewell Ford which began with “Torchy”² in 1911.

QI has not seen these films. Also, QI has not examined all these books; hence, QI has not verified the presence or absence of this joke. Thus, the creator of the gag remains anonymous, at this time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Soul Is Healed By Being With Children

Fyodor Dostoevsky? Prince Myshkin? Constance Garnett? Henry Carlisle? Olga Carlisle? Apocryphal?

**Portrait of Fyodor Dostoevsky circa 1872**

Question for Quote Investigator: A major literary figure once wrote about the connection between children and spiritual health. Here are two versions:

(1) The soul is healed by being with children.
(2) Through children the soul is healed.

This remark has been attributed to the acclaimed Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, but I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help me to precisely locate the statement in Russian and English?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Fyodor Dostoevsky published the novel Идиот (“The Idiot”) serially between 1868 and 1869. An English translation by Constance Garnett appeared in 1913. During one scene in chapter six the main character Prince Lev Nikolayevitch Myshkin spoke about the children of a village and their schoolteacher Jules Thibaut. Boldface added to except by QI:¹

At first he used to shake his head and wonder how it was the children understood everything from me and scarcely anything from him; and then he began laughing at me when I told him that neither of us could teach them anything, but that they can teach us. And how could he be envious of me and say things against me, when he spent his life with children himself! The soul is healed by being with children.

Below is the passage in Russian as it appeared in a 1973 edition of Идиот (“The Idiot”) from the U.S.S.R. Academy of Sciences:²

он сначала всё качал головой и дивился, как это дети у меня всё понимают, а у него почти ничего, а потом стал надо мной смеяться, когда я ему сказал, что мы оба их ничему не научим, а они еще нас научат. И как он мог мне завидовать и клеветать на меня, когда сам жил с детьми! Через детей душа лечится.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Only Traditions of the Royal Navy Are Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash

Winston Churchill? Harold Nicolson? Paddy Leigh Fermor? Anthony Montague Browne? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: According to legend a British statesman was once criticized for disregarding naval tradition. The statesman responded with the following zinger:

The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy, and the lash.

This line has been attributed to Winston Churchill, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence known to QI appeared in a diary entry written by British diplomat Harold Nicolson on August 17, 1950. Nicolson stated that British travel writer Paddy Leigh Fermor told him the following story about Winston Churchill. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

. . . when Winston was at the Admiralty, the Board objected to some suggestion of his on the grounds that it would not be in accord with naval tradition. ‘Naval tradition? Naval tradition?’ said Winston. ‘Monstrous. Nothing but rum, sodomy, prayers and the lash.’

The evidence above was not direct. It was thirdhand. Fermor heard the anecdote and told Nicolson who wrote it in his diary in 1950. The diary was published in 1968.

Churchill quotation expert Richard M. Langworth has reported that Winston Churchill denied making this remark. Langworth published the important reference work “Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations” which contained an entry on this topic. The initials WSC correspond to Winston S. Churchill:²

Naval tradition
Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, buggery [sometimes “sodomy”] and the lash.
Circa 1914-15, Admiralty.

In dinner conversation ca. 1955, private secretary Anthony Montague Browne confronted WSC with this quotation. “I never said it. I wish I had,” responded Churchill. (AMB to the editor.)

The evidence above was also indirect. Anthony Montague Browne spoke to Churchill and subsequently described the conversation to Langworth. Currently, the available data is discordant. Thus, QI is uncertain whether Churchill made this remark.

Below are additional selected citations organized chronologically.

Quip Origin: If God Had Intended That People Should Go Naked, We Would Have Been Born That Way

Walt Willis? Zorima? Raymond Duncan’s Wife? Anonymous?

**Public domain illustration of a clothesline**

Question for Quote Investigator: The “appeal to nature” argument asserts that something which is natural is good, and something which is unnatural is bad. This style of reasoning has produced the following entertaining statements:

(1) If God wanted us to wear clothes, we would have been born that way

(2) If God intended us to go naked, we would have been born that way

Nudists embrace the first pronouncement, and humorists employ the second pronouncement. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This family of statements is difficult to trace because the phrasing and the intended meaning are variable. Here is an overview of pertinent remarks with dates

1902 Oct: If God wanted children to wear clothes, children would be born with clothes upon them (Credited to The Cleveland Press)

1910 Feb: If God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way (Attributed to Raymond Duncan’s wife)

1914 Dec: If God had intended us to wear clothes Adam and Eve would have been born that way(Attributed to the leader of a new religion)

1934 Jun: If God had wanted people to go naked, why did He make coats of skin and clothe Adam and Eve as we read in Genesis 3:21? (Christian Girl of Akron, New York)

1934 Jul: If God had intended that we should be clad in the fibers of grasses or the skins of animals he would have provided us with these coverings. We are born nude (The Cavalier columnist)

1941 Aug: I feel that if we had needed clothes, God would have provided them (Zorima, Queen of the Nudists)

1964 May: If God had meant us to be nudists, we’d have been born without clothes (Attributed to Walt Willis)

1969 Jul: If God had intended that man should go naked, he would have been born that way (Anonymous)

1969 Dec: If God had meant for us to run around without any clothes on, we would all have been born naked (Anonymous)

1970 Sep: if God had meant us to walk around without clothes, we would have been born naked (A. D. Coleman)

1979: If God thought that nudity was O.K., we would have been born naked (Ellis’ Eloquence)

1994: If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way (Olum’s Observation)

Below are the details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Way That Person Believes In Themselves Is Quite Refreshing In These Atheistic Times When Many Believe In No God At All

Israel Zangwill? G. K. Chesterton? George Bernard Shaw? William Thomas Stead? H. G. Wells? Apocryphal?

**Illustration of Rays of Sunlight from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Intellectuals often think very highly of themselves. One wit satirized this self-absorption with the following quip:

The way he believes in himself is very refreshing in these atheistic days when so many believe in no God at all.

This comical remark has been credited to British author Israel Zangwill. The target of this barb was either Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw or English editor William Thomas Stead. Yet, I have not seen any solid citations. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: William Thomas Stead was an influential newspaper and magazine editor who campaigned against child prostitution. Stead had broad interests, and over time his fascination with ghosts, spiritualism, and psychical research grew.

In 1891 Stead published “Real Ghost Stories”, and in 1893 he founded the magazine “Borderland” about supernatural phenomena. Tragically, Stead received no warning from the spirit world when he boarded the ill-fated RMS Titanic, and he perished when it sank in 1912.

In 1893 “The Pall Mall Magazine” published a piece by Israel Zangwill which skeptically discussed Stead’s enthusiasm for investigating ghosts. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

And you cannot kill Ghosts. Perhaps because they do not exist. No other dead thing is so tenacious of life as your ghost. If ridicule were really fatal, we should have given up the ghost long since. Consider the fires of burlesque through which he has passed unscathed. What indignity has been spared him? Now at last he is to encounter the supreme test—he is to be taken seriously.

Mr. Stead has the matter in hand—or should one say, the spirit? Once a quarter there will be a pilgrimage to Borderland (terms, 10s. 6d. per annum). Mr. Stead, who believes in himself in a way that is refreshing in these atheistic times, will either rehabilitate the ghost or lay him for ever.

The phrase “10s. 6d.” corresponded to ten shillings and sixpence, the cost of an annual subscription to the Stead’s magazine “Borderland”.

Based on the above citation QI believes that Israel Zangwill authored this zinger, and the target was William Thomas Stead and not George Bernard Shaw. During subsequent years the joke was repeated and altered. The phrasing evolved, and the target shifted.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Anecdote Origin: In the Wild Hill Countries from Whence My Client Comes They Talk of Little Else

Alexander Martin Sullivan? Marshall Hall? Henry Harte Barry? John Chute Neligan?

**Illustration of a wooden gavel from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A popular anecdote in legal circles concerns a lawyer who was representing a client from a rural area. The judge condescendingly asked the lawyer whether the client was familiar with a legal doctrine which was identified via a pompous Latin phrase such as “Sic utere tuo ut alienum non laedas” or “Res ipsa loquitur”.

The lawyer punctured the pretension by replying, “My Lord, in the bogs of western Ireland where my client comes from, when friends are gathered together for a drink on Saturday night, they talk of nothing else.”

There are many versions of this tale. The Latin phrase, the rural location, and the sardonic reply vary. Yet, the overall template is the same. Would you please explore the provenance of this anecdote?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This tale is difficult to trace because of its variability. The earliest published match known to QI appeared in “The Yorkshire Post” of England in April 1949. The lawyer was Alexander Martin Sullivan of Ireland who held the rank of Serjeant-at-Law. The judge was unidentified. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The Serjeant’s client, a poor illiterate Irish peasant, was claiming damages for personal injury. The Judge took the view that there were legal objections.

“Mr. Serjeant,” he protested, “has your client never heard of the maxim, volenti non fit injuria? (an injury is not done to a person who consents).

The Serjeant fixed the Judge with a steely eye.

“My Lord,” he retorted in his rich brogue, “in the village of Ballymena, from which my client comes, it is almost the sole topic of conversation.”

Interestingly, Sullivan published a memoir in 1952 within which he told a different version of this anecdote. He also disclaimed credit for the punchline. See further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Literary World Is Made Up of Second-Rate Writers Who Write About Other Second-Rate Writers

Mickey Spillane? Terry Southern? David Halberstam? Apocryphal?

**Public domain illustration of a typewriter**

Question for Quote Investigator: The best-selling author of pulp thrillers was excoriated by literary critics. His reported response was harsh:

The literary world is made of second-rate writers writing about other second-rate writers.

This statement has been credited to Mickey Spillane, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a citation. Is this quotation genuine? Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: U.S. crime novelist Mickey Spillane created the detective character Mike Hammer. Spillane wrote “I, the Jury” (1947), “My Gun Is Quick” (1950), “Kiss Me Deadly” (1952), and other bestsellers. In 1963 “Esquire” magazine published an interview with Spillane conducted by Terry Southern who mentioned that he was preparing a magazine issue covering the U.S. literary scene. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

After a terrific guffaw, and a slow, rather deliberate and somehow menacing cracking of knuckles, the Mick said, “Yeah, I’ve seen those articles—they never mention me; all they talk about are the Losers.”
“The Losers?”
“The guys who didn’t make it—the guys nobody ever heard of.”
“Why would they talk about them?”
“Because they can be condescending about the Losers. You know, they can afford to say something nice about them. You see, these articles are usually written by Losers—frustrated writers. And these writers resent success. So naturally they never have anything good to say about the Winners.”

Spillane’s answers above did not precisely match the quotation under examination; however, his remarks did exhibit a conceptual match. The term “losers” corresponded to “second-rate writers”. See the 1993 citation further below to learn more about the true creator of the quotation.

The 1963 interview contained other sharp replies from Spillane:²

“How do you feel about literary criticism of your books?”
“The public is the only critic. And the only literature is what the public reads. The first printing of my last book was more than two million copies—that’s the kind of opinion that interests me.”

When Spillane was asked about a fellow writer he was unsparing:

“Thomas Wolfe was a lousy writer,” he said. “He didn’t know what he was doing.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.