Quote Origin: Travel Is Fatal To Prejudice, Bigotry and Narrow-Mindedness

Mark Twain? John W. Casto? Maturin M. Ballou? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain traveled widely, and he wrote about his experiences in the books “The Innocents Abroad” and “Following the Equator”. Twain believed that travel broadened the mind and reduced prejudices. Would you please help me to find a quotation in which he …

Quip Origin: Chaucer Is Dead, Spencer Is Dead, So Is Milton, So Is Shakespeare, and I Am Not Feeling Very Well Myself

Mark Twain? Punch magazine? James T. Fields? William P. Clyde? Walt Mason? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, an effusive admirer of Mark Twain once proclaimed that the famous humorist deserved membership in the pantheon of major writers. Twain’s comical response highlighted his mortality: I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of …

Poem Origin: I Cannot Promise You a Life of Sunshine

Mark Twain? Margo T. Brandt? Kimber Crocker? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: A popular poem is employed during wedding celebrations. Here are the first two lines: I cannot promise you a life of sunshineI cannot promise riches, wealth, or gold This poem has been attributed to the famous U.S. writer Mark Twain, but I have …

Quip Origin: “What Is the Difference Between a Taxidermist and a Tax Collector?” “The Taxidermist Takes Only Your Skin”

Mark Twain? Merle Johnson? Albert Bigelow Paine? Question for Quote Investigator: A famous humorist apparently said something like the following about taxation. Here are two versions: (1) “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?” “The taxidermist takes only your skin.” (2) The difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist is …

Quote Origin: Even If You Are On the Right Track You Will Get Run Over If You Just Sit There

Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Tom Sims? Arthur Godfrey? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: You must stay active and alert to have a fulfilling life. Two famous U.S. humorists, Mark Twain and Will Rogers, have been credited with the following remark: Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit …

Quote Origin: If There Is No Smoking in Heaven, I Shall Not Go There

Mark Twain? James Ross Clemens? Lowell Gleason? Roger Durrett? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain enjoyed smoking cigars. The following three closely related quips have been attributed to the famed humorist: (1) If I cannot smoke in heaven, I shall not go there.(2) If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not …

Quote Origin: Worry Is Like Paying Interest On a Debt You Don’t Owe

Mark Twain? William Ralph Inge? Harry A. Thompson? Havelock Ellis? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Excessive worrying is debilitating to one’s mental health. Upsetting scenarios are often sidestepped, and the anguish was unnecessary. Here are three examples from a family of pertinent sayings: (1) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due(2) Worry …

Quote Origin: If Man Could Be Crossed With the Cat It Would Improve Man, But It Would Deteriorate the Cat

Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, Mark Twain adored cats. He once humorously wrote about genetically crossing cats and people. He concluded that the quality of people would be improved, but the quality of cats would deteriorate. Would you please help me to find the exact quotation together with a …

Quote Origin: Life Is Too Short To Learn German

Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Thomas Love Peacock? Algernon Falconer? Richard Porson? Question for Quote Investigator: The complexities of the German language inspired the following comical statement: Life is too short to learn German. This statement has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain, Irish playwright Oscar Wilde, English satirist Thomas Love Peacock, and English classical …

Quip Origin: Buy Land; They’re Not Making It Anymore

Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Fred Dumont Smith? Arthur M. Pearson? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The quantity of real estate is limited by the surface area of our planet. A popular wag commented about this restricted supply. Here are three versions: (1) Buy land. They’re not making it anymore.(2) Buy land. God is not …