Mark Twain? Merle Johnson? Albert Bigelow Paine? Question for Quote Investigator: A famous humorist apparently said something like the following about taxation. Here are two versions: (1) “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?” “The taxidermist takes only your skin.” (2) The difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist is …
Tag Archives: Mark Twain
Quote Origin: Even If You Are On the Right Track You Will Get Run Over If You Just Sit There
Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Tom Sims? Arthur Godfrey? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: You must stay active and alert to have a fulfilling life. Two famous U.S. humorists, Mark Twain and Will Rogers, have been credited with the following remark: Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit …
Quote Origin: If There Is No Smoking in Heaven, I Shall Not Go There
Mark Twain? James Ross Clemens? Lowell Gleason? Roger Durrett? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain enjoyed smoking cigars. The following three closely related quips have been attributed to the famed humorist: (1) If I cannot smoke in heaven, I shall not go there.(2) If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not …
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Quote Origin: Worry Is Like Paying Interest On a Debt You Don’t Owe
Mark Twain? William Ralph Inge? Harry A. Thompson? Havelock Ellis? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Excessive worrying is debilitating to one’s mental health. Upsetting scenarios are often sidestepped, and the anguish was unnecessary. Here are three examples from a family of pertinent sayings: (1) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due(2) Worry …
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Quote Origin: If Man Could Be Crossed With the Cat It Would Improve Man, But It Would Deteriorate the Cat
Mark Twain? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, Mark Twain adored cats. He once humorously wrote about genetically crossing cats and people. He concluded that the quality of people would be improved, but the quality of cats would deteriorate. Would you please help me to find the exact quotation together with a …
Quote Origin: Life Is Too Short To Learn German
Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Thomas Love Peacock? Algernon Falconer? Richard Porson? Question for Quote Investigator: The complexities of the German language inspired the following comical statement: Life is too short to learn German. This statement has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain, Irish playwright Oscar Wilde, English satirist Thomas Love Peacock, and English classical …
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Quip Origin: Buy Land; They’re Not Making It Anymore
Mark Twain? Will Rogers? Fred Dumont Smith? Arthur M. Pearson? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: The quantity of real estate is limited by the surface area of our planet. A popular wag commented about this restricted supply. Here are three versions: (1) Buy land. They’re not making it anymore.(2) Buy land. God is not …
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Quote Origin: Real Success Is Finding Your Lifework in the Work That You Love
David McCullough? Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: Pulitzer Prize-winning historian David McCullough has received credit for an insightful expression about career choice: Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. I am having difficulty finding a citation. Would you please help? Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1996 David McCullough …
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Quote Origin: There Are Three Things a Person Can Make Out of Almost Nothing — a Salad, a Hat, and a Quarrel
Mark Twain? Coco Chanel? John Barrymore? Marlene Dietrich? Jackie Kannon? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: A creative person can fashion a hat out of almost any scrap of fabric. An imaginative person can combine a wide variety of ingredients to create a salad. An irascible person can generate a quarrel from a mild disagreement. These …
Quote Origin: Reports of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated
Mark Twain? Frank Marshall White? Albert Bigelow Paine? Apocryphal? Question for Quote Investigator: A famous anecdote about the humorist Mark Twain occurred when he was an elderly gentleman. A prominent newspaper reported that Twain was either gravely ill or dead. Journalists rushed to learn more about the story, and they found that Twain was still …
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