Golf is a Good Walk Spoiled

Mark Twain? William Gladstone? A Northern Gael? F. W. Payn? Well-known Jockey? The Allens? Harry Leon Wilson? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I love to play golf, but sometimes when I am playing poorly I am tempted to simply walk the course and get some exercise. When I mentioned this to a friend he told me that Mark Twain said: “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” This sounds like Twain to me, but did he really say it?

Quote Investigator: Mark Twain was probably not responsible for this barb. The earliest attribution to Twain located by QI appeared in “The Saturday Evening Post” of August 1948.[1] 1948 August 28, Saturday Evening Post, Volume 221, Issue 9, Golf’s Own Home Town by Allan A. Michie, Start Page 32, Quote Page 32, Saturday Evening Post Society, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Ebsco) But Twain died in 1910, so this is a suspiciously late citation with minimal credibility.

The earliest appearance of the quip located by QI occurred in a newspaper in Enniscorthy, Ireland in April 1901. The author of the article was only identified as “a northern Gael”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[2] 1901 April 20, Enniscorthy Guardian, Sporting – Gaelic (From a northern Gael), Quote Page 4, Column 6, Enniscorthy, Wexford County, Republic of Ireland. (British Newspaper Archive)

I am not a lover of the snobbish game of cricket, neither would I care to see our Irish boys disporting themselves at the aristocratic game of lawn tennis, not to mention golf, which is a good walk spoiled.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

The next earliest appearance known to QI occurred in the U.S. periodical “Golf and Lawn Tennis” in November 1901 within an article by tennis player F. W. Payn who attributed the remark to an unnamed “well-known jockey”:[3]1901 November 30, Golf and Lawn Tennis, Volume 4, Number 19, Section: Lawn Tennis Department, Section Date: November 16, 1901, Article: The American Twist Service – Golf As a Rival to Tennis, … Continue reading

Although we do not endorse the view of the well-known jockey who said that golf “merely spoilt a good walk,” we must be permitted to suggest that if anyone desires to see the depths of stolidity to which mankind can attain we advise him to visit a suburban golf link on a Sunday.

In 1903 the joke appeared in a book chapter by H. S. Scrivener who attributed the saying to tennis players named “the Allens”:[4] 1903, Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad edited by Arthur Wallis Myers (second chapter by H. S. Scrivener), Page 47, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Google Books full view) link

… my good friends the Allens … one of the best of their many excellent dicta is that “to play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.”

In 1904 the saying was attributed to a popular novelist named Harry Leon Wilson who used a cleverly expanded version of the jape. Wilson employed a rhetorical device called reversibility to augment the humor:[5] 1904 December 3, The Pittsburgh Press, Literary Notes, Page 20, Col. 4, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Google News archive full view) link

Some of his friends have been trying to induce him to play golf, but he refused. He makes the following unique definition of golf:  “Golf has too much walking to be a good game, and just enough game to spoil a good walk.”

In 1905 Wilson used the expression directly in his novel titled “The Boss of Little Arcady”:[6] 1905, The Boss of Little Arcady by Harry Leon Wilson, Page 367, Lothrop Pub. Co., Boston. (Google Books full view) link

This new game of golf that the summer folks play seems to have too much walking for a good game and just enough game to spoil a good walk.

Wilson’s fame grew a decade later when he wrote the bestseller “Ruggles of Red Gap” which was made into a popular movie.

In 1906 F. W. Payn published “The Secrets of Lawn Tennis”, and he repeated the critical saying:[7] 1906, The Secrets of Lawn Tennis by F. W. Payn, Page 164, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Internet Archive and Google Books full view) link

Although I do not endorse the view of the well-known jockey who said that golf “merely spoilt a good walk,” it appears to me that (excellent game though it be) the attention it receives is just a little in excess of its merits as a game and not merely as an agreeable provider of exercise.

In 1913 a South Dakota newspaper printed the following description:[8] 1913 December 10, The Daily Deadwood Pioneer-Times, The Game of Golf, Quote Page 4, Column 4,Deadwood, South Dakota. (Newspapers_com)

Golf, of course, has been defined as a good walk spoiled, and a low comedian once described the game thusly: “You hit a ball as far as you can, and if you find it the same day you have won.”

Over the years the adage has been assigned to several prominent individuals. For example, in 1924 the words were ascribed to the famed statesman William Gladstone by the Earl of Birkenhead:[9] 1924, America Revisited by The Earl of Birkenhead, [Frederick Edwin Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead], Page 7, Little, Brown, and Company, Boston (Verified on paper)

The late Mr. Gladstone was once, much against his wishes, compelled to play golf. He is reported to have commented upon the experiment that it was a good walk spoiled. Such would undoubtedly have been the verdict thirty years ago of any ninety-five per cent of the whole male population of the United States of America.

Gladstone died in 1898; hence, the citation above from 1924 does not provide compelling evidence.

In August 1948 The Saturday Evening Post published an article about the genesis of golf in Scotland. The first paragraph dubiously assigned the joke to the famous humorist from Hannibal, Missouri:[10] 1948 August 28, Saturday Evening Post, Volume 221, Issue 9, Golf’s Own Home Town by Allan A. Michie, Start Page 32, Quote Page 32, Saturday Evening Post Society, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Ebsco)

If Mark Twain, who once crustily called a game of golf a good walk spoiled, had ever ventured to the venerable gray-stone city of St. Andrews on the bleak east coast of Scotland, the outraged citizens would have given him the Scottish equivalent of the bum’s rush.

In December 1948 the mass-circulation periodical “The Reader’s Digest” printed the maxim and echoed the attribution above:[11] 1948 December, The Reader’s Digest, Quotable Quotes, Page 122, The Reader’s Digest Association. (Verified on paper)

Mark Twain: Golf is a good walk spoiled.    —The Saturday Evening Post

The citation in “The Reader’s Digest” appeared in two important references: “The Quote Verifier” by Ralph Keyes [12] 2006, The Quote Verifier by Ralph Keyes, Page 82, St Martin’s Griffin, New York. and “The Yale Book of Quotations” edited by Fred R. Shapiro. [13] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Page 782, Yale University Press, New Haven.

In conclusion, the earliest citation was written by “a northern Gael”. The next two citations credited the quip to a “well-known jockey” and “the Allens”. The obscurity of these designations suggests that the provenance remains anonymous. The ascriptions to Mark Twain and William Gladstone are currently unsupported.

Update history: On June 2, 2012 the 1948 citation for The Saturday Evening Post was added and the article was partially rewritten. On January 31, 2016 boldface was added to excerpts and the bibliographic notes were switched to numeric tags. On August 27, 2017 the entry was updated to more clearly indicate that the 1924 Gladstone citation was unconvincing. Also, the 1913 citation was added. On July 26, 2022 the citations dated April 20, 1901 and November 30, 1901 were added to the article.

Image Notes: Public domain illustration of golf clubs from volume 3 of “The American Educator” in 1921.

(Many thanks to Pete Morris who located the valuable citation dated November 30, 1901. Also, thanks to Matt Seybold at marktwainstudies.com for feedback.)

References

References
1, 10 1948 August 28, Saturday Evening Post, Volume 221, Issue 9, Golf’s Own Home Town by Allan A. Michie, Start Page 32, Quote Page 32, Saturday Evening Post Society, Indianapolis, Indiana. (Ebsco)
2 1901 April 20, Enniscorthy Guardian, Sporting – Gaelic (From a northern Gael), Quote Page 4, Column 6, Enniscorthy, Wexford County, Republic of Ireland. (British Newspaper Archive)
3 1901 November 30, Golf and Lawn Tennis, Volume 4, Number 19, Section: Lawn Tennis Department, Section Date: November 16, 1901, Article: The American Twist Service – Golf As a Rival to Tennis, Author: F. W. Payn, (Reprinted from “Lawn Tennis” of London), Start Page 587, Quote Page 588, Boston, Massachusetts. (Google Books Full View) link
4 1903, Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad edited by Arthur Wallis Myers (second chapter by H. S. Scrivener), Page 47, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Google Books full view) link
5 1904 December 3, The Pittsburgh Press, Literary Notes, Page 20, Col. 4, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Google News archive full view) link
6 1905, The Boss of Little Arcady by Harry Leon Wilson, Page 367, Lothrop Pub. Co., Boston. (Google Books full view) link
7 1906, The Secrets of Lawn Tennis by F. W. Payn, Page 164, Charles Scribner’s Sons, New York. (Internet Archive and Google Books full view) link
8 1913 December 10, The Daily Deadwood Pioneer-Times, The Game of Golf, Quote Page 4, Column 4,Deadwood, South Dakota. (Newspapers_com)
9 1924, America Revisited by The Earl of Birkenhead, [Frederick Edwin Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead], Page 7, Little, Brown, and Company, Boston (Verified on paper)
11 1948 December, The Reader’s Digest, Quotable Quotes, Page 122, The Reader’s Digest Association. (Verified on paper)
12 2006, The Quote Verifier by Ralph Keyes, Page 82, St Martin’s Griffin, New York.
13 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Page 782, Yale University Press, New Haven.

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