Maya Angelou? Oprah Winfrey? Apocryphal?
Question for Quote Investigator: The true character of a person cannot be hidden for a lengthy period behind a mask of deception. Here are two versions of a pertinent saying:
(1) When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
(2) When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
This notion has been attributed to writer Maya Angelou and entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match found by QI occurred in a commencement address delivered by Oprah Winfrey at Wellesley College in Massachusetts in May 1997. Winfrey credited the expression to Maya Angelou. Winfrey spoke about relationships in the following passage from her speech. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
One of the other great lessons I learned taught to me by my friend and mentor, Maya Angelou and if you can get this, you can save yourself a lot of time … Remember this because this will happen many times in your life.
When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Not the 29th time! That is particularly good when it comes to men situations because when he doesn’t call back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when you see someone who shows you a lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that that will be followed by many, many, many other times that will at some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Live your life from truth and you will survive everything, everything, I believe even death.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
In 1998 the book “Oprah Winfrey Speaks: Insight from the World’s Most Influential Voice” printed the expression without mentioning Angelou:2
When Stedman Graham’s daughter, Wendy, graduated from Wellesley College in 1997, Oprah delivered the commencement address. She told the graduates that she’d learned five important lessons that made her life better:
1. Life is a journey. Every day experiences will teach you who you really are.
2. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. This is especially helpful with men. Don’t force them to beat you over the head with the message.
In May 1998 “The Tribune” newspaper of Scranton, Pennsylvania printed a letter about a newly built sports complex. The letter’s writer praised the local community while crediting the saying to Angelou:3
The noted poet, Maya Angelou, observed “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Over 30 years ago, the residents of Tripp Park, under the vision of Ann Hall, showed the city who they were — people dedicated to providing first-class sports opportunities for young women.
In August 1998 the “Green Bay Press-Gazette” of Green Bay, Wisconsin published a letter which contained the saying without an attribution:4
By the way, when someone shows you their true colors, believe them the first time.
In 1999 Oprah Winfrey wrote the foreword to a book titled “Maya Angelou: The Poetry of Living”. Winfrey discussed the teachings she acquired from Maya Angelou:5
I often take notes. Some of my best lessons and enlightened moments have come from her. My favorites:
♦ When people show you who they are—believe them. The first time.
♦ Why do you have to be shown twenty-nine times before you see the truth?
♦ Courage is the most important of the virtues—without it you can’t practice any of the others consistently.
♦ In God you move and breathe and have your being. God wants your service. Show him what you can do.
In 1999 the compilation “Stretch Your Wings: Famous Black Quotations for Teens” edited by Janet Cheatham Bell and Lucille Usher Freeman contained the following entry:6
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Maya Angelou, poet and author
In 2000 Oprah Winfrey held a “Personal Growth Summit” at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California. Winfrey delivered a speech about empowerment to a sold-out venue and fielded questions from the audience. Her remarks included the following:7
Oprah on relationships: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. The lesson is to try to surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up, not people you know are toxic.”
In 2008 Oprah Winfrey wrote a foreword to the book “Maya Angelou: A Glorious Celebration”. Winfrey repeated the saying while crediting Angelou:8
I’ve literally sat at her feet (in my pj’s) listening, listening, listening to her revelations on the intricacies of life. I’ve felt touched by grace to share in her wisdom.
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” She taught me this treasure of a lesson and so many others that helped me to be a real woman and not just an “aging female” as she is fond to note.
In conclusion, Maya Angelou deserves credit for this saying based on the testimony of Oprah Winfrey who used the expression during a commencement speech in 1997. QI has not yet found direct evidence of Maya Angelou using the saying, but QI believes Winfrey’s attribution to Angelou which occurred in 1997, 1999, and 2008.
Image Notes: Theater masks depicting Comedy and Tragedy from Clker-Free-Vector-Images at Pixabay.
Acknowledgement: Great thanks to Jay Weiser whose inquiry led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration.
- Website: Wellesley College, Article title: Oprah Winfrey’s Commencement Address, Article author: Oprah Winfrey, Date on website: May 30, 1997, Website description: Information about Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. (Accessed wellesley.edu on August 13, 2026) link ↩︎
- 1998, Oprah Winfrey Speaks: Insight from the World’s Most Influential Voice by Oprah Winfrey and Janet Lowe, Chapter: Looking Ahead, Quote Page 170, John Wiley & Sons, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1998 May 22, The Tribune, Letter Title: Tripp Park hits homer, Letter From: Eileen Pocius of Lake Waynewood, Quote Page A4, Column 5, Scranton, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
- 1998 August 12, Green Bay Press-Gazette, Letter Title: Country shouldn’t condone Clinton’s behavior, Letter From: Pamela Tice of Green Bay, Quote Page A9, Column 6, Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
- 1999 Copyright, Maya Angelou: The Poetry of Living by Margaret Courtney-Clarke, Foreword by Oprah Winfrey, Quote Page 11, Column 2, Clarkson Potter Publishers, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
- 1999 Copyright, Stretch Your Wings: Famous Black Quotations for Teens, Selected and Edited by Janet Cheatham Bell and Lucille Usher Freeman, Chapter: Relating To My Friends, Quote Page 38, Little, Brown and Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Verified with scans) link ↩︎
- 2000 July 3, Salisbury Post, The story of O: Fans flock to hear what Oprah has to say by Valerie Kuklenski (Los Angeles Daily News), Start Page 4A, Quote Page 5A, Column 1 and 2, Salisbury, North Carolina. (Newspapers_com) link ↩︎
- 2008 Copyright, Maya Angelou: A Glorious Celebration by Marcia Ann Gillespie, Rosa Johnson Butler, and Richard A. Lang, Foreword by Oprah Winfrey, Quote Page 2, Doubleday, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎