Quote Origin: It’s Easy to Quit Smoking. I’ve Done It a Thousand Times

Mark Twain? W. C. Fields? Harris Dickson? Barracuda Pete? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: I mentioned a joke credited to Mark Twain to a friend recently: It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times. She said that the jest was actually created by the famous comedian W. C. Fields and not Twain. …

Quote Origin: Now We’re Just Haggling Over the Price

George Bernard Shaw? Winston Churchill? Groucho Marx? Max Aitken? Mark Twain? W. C. Fields? Bertrand Russell? Question for Quote Investigator: There is a famous story about sex and money that I have heard in myriad variations. A man asks a woman if she would be willing to sleep with him if he pays her an …

I Spent a Week in Philadelphia One Sunday

W. C. Fields? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Humorous remarks about Philadelphia are often credited to the well-known actor and comic W. C. Fields. In the past the activities and nightlife in Philadelphia were limited because of strict laws. Hence, time seemed to move slowly, and someone created the following quip: I spent a week in …

Yes, I Am Drunk, But You Are Ugly. Tomorrow I Will Be Sober, And You Will Still Be Ugly

Winston Churchill? W. C. Fields? Mr. Robinson? Dr. Tanner? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a famous anecdote featuring Winston Churchill and the British politician Bessie Braddock that might be fictional. Supposedly Braddock encountered an intoxicated Churchill, and she expressed her displeasure. The rejoinder was harsh: “Sir, you are drunk.” “And you, Bessie, are …

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