A Professor Is One Who Talks in Someone Else’s Sleep

W. H. Auden? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The acclaimed poet W. H. Auden popularized one of the funniest definitions for an academic: A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. Do you know whether Auden crafted this quip? Quote Investigator: There is substantive evidence that W. H. Auden did employ this joke …

If We Are Here to Help Others, I Often Wonder What the Others Are Here For

W. H. Auden? George Herbert Palmer? Young Boy? Thomas Robert Dewar? John Foster Hall? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Altruism is a cornerstone of many religions and philosophies. Here are two versions of a humorous comment on this topic: If we are here to help others, I often wonder what the others are here for. We …