Is That a Gun in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

Mae West? Aristophanes? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Screenwriter and sex symbol Mae West is usually credited with the following ribald line: Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? But I have seen many variations of this comical remark: Is that your pipe in your pocket or are …

Academic Politics Are So Vicious Because the Stakes Are So Small

Henry Kissinger? Wallace Sayre? Charles Frankel? Samuel Johnson? Jesse Unruh? Courtney Brown? Laurence J. Peter? Dear Quote Investigator: The following saying is often attributed to the prominent U.S. foreign policy figure and Nobel laureate Henry Kissinger: Academic politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. But I have also seen it attributed …

A Short Story Must Have a Single Mood and Every Sentence Must Build Towards It

Edgar Allan Poe? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: On a popular website I saw an intriguing list of “Indispensable Writing Tips from Famous Authors”. The following words were attributed to Edgar Allan Poe, the master of mystery and the macabre: A short story must have a single mood and every sentence must build towards it. I …

Deathbed Remark: This Is No Time To Be Making New Enemies

Voltaire? Niccolò Machiavelli? Wilson Mizner? Dying Irishman? Canny Scot? Aging Rock Star? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: While reading speeches given by Nobel Prize recipients I came across an entertaining anecdote about Voltaire from the eminent economist Robert E. Lucas:[ref] 1995 December 10, Speech at Banquet for the Nobel Prize Award by Robert E. Lucas, Jr., …

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There’s No Use Being a Damn Fool About It

W. C. Fields? Stephen Leacock? Justin J. Burns? Henry Morgan? George Burns? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A well-known saying about persistence has become an energyless cliché: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. The following parody version is usually attributed to the famous comedian W. C. Fields: If at first you don’t succeed, …

Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You

Mary Schmich? Eleanor Roosevelt? Kurt Vonnegut? Baz Luhrmann? Ralph Waldo Emerson? Jane Addams? Mark Toby? Dear Quote Investigator: To achieve personal growth it is sometimes necessary to move outside of a comfort zone. Unjustified fears can constrain exploration and positive development. Here is a saying I find valuable: Do one thing every day that scares …

They Haven’t Done Anything to My Book. It’s Right There on the Shelf

Raymond Chandler? James M. Cain? Alan Moore? William S. Burroughs? Larry Niven? Stephen King? Elmore Leonard? William Faulkner? Owen Sheers? Dear Quote Investigator: I have heard the following anecdote told about Raymond Chandler, James M. Cain, Stephen King, and Elmore Leonard. A journalist once visited the house of a popular author who had sold the …

A Statue Has Never Been Set Up in Honour of a Critic

Zig Ziglar? Jean Sibelius? Bengt de Törne? Martha Graham? Agnes De Mille? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: When the famous motivational speaker Zig Ziglar died last year I saw a list of ten quotations ascribed to him. One was about criticism: There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic. I thought this was …

All Actors Are Cattle

Alfred Hitchcock? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Alfred Hitchcock was one of the greatest movie directors of the twentieth century in my opinion. A controversial quotation about actors has long been attributed to him: All actors are cattle. Did he really say this? Who was he speaking to? Quote Investigator: There is good evidence that Alfred …

Don’t Tell Me the Moon Is Shining; Show Me the Glint of Light on Broken Glass

Anton Chekhov? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently I was reading a collection of writing tips designed for neophyte scribblers, and I came across a valuable piece of advice that was attributed to Anton Chekhov: Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. I have seen this statement …

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