“Age Before Beauty.” “Pearls Before Swine.”

Dorothy Parker? Clare Boothe Luce? Sheilah Graham? Snooty debutante? Little chorus girl? Dear Quote Investigator: I think Dorothy Parker should be credited with the wittiest comeback ever spoken. She was attempting to go through a doorway at the same time as another person and words were exchanged. According to the story I heard the other …

See the Happy Moron

Dorothy Parker? James Webb Young? Owen H. Hott? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A friend and I recently wondered about the origin of the following poem. We did not have much luck tracking it: See the happy moron, He doesn’t give a damn, I wish I were a moron, My God! perhaps I am! There is …

You Cannot Persuade Her with Gun or Lariat, To Come Across for the Proletariat

Dorothy Parker? W. Somerset Maugham? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Dorothy Parker was at a party where guests were challenging one another to complete poems based on a few starting lines, or so the story goes. Parker was given the following two lines: Higgledy Piggledy, my white hen; She lays eggs for gentlemen. After a moment …

Gift Book: A Book Which You Wouldn’t Take on Any Other Terms

Dorothy Parker? Walter Winchell? Fictional? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I gave a close friend a book as a gift, and on the accompanying card I included a quotation that Dorothy Parker once used in a book review: This must be a gift book. That is to say, a book which you wouldn’t take on …

“I simply can’t bear fools.” “Apparently, your mother could.”

Dorothy Parker? An old farmer? A young newspaper editor? Bennett Cerf? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently when a friend delivered a clever retort I told her it was worthy of Dorothy Parker, but she did not recognize the name. I love Parker’s witticisms and am sad that her fame is going into eclipse.  The prominent publisher …

She Speaks Eighteen Languages, and Can’t Say “No” in Any of Them

Who Said the Quote? Dorothy Parker? Richard Henry Little? Alexander Woollcott? Who was the Polyglot? Winifred Stackville Stoner? Merle Oberon? Dear Quote Investigator: My question differs from most. Here is a quotation of admiration with a stinger that I would like you to investigate: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say “No” in any …

“Our host certainly is outspoken.” “Outspoken by whom?”

Dorothy Parker? Punch Humor Magazine? Sally’s Sallies Comic Strip? Ann Landers? Dear Quote Investigator: Previously you discussed a quote of Dorothy Parker’s which was self-critical, but she also directed her barbs at others. Here is an example [LWO]: When a garrulous old battle-ax was praised as “outspoken,” Mrs. Parker raised an eyebrow to take dead …

I was the Toast of Two Continents: Greenland and Australia

Dorothy Parker? Robert Benchley? Frank Sullivan? Dear Quote Investigator: The writer Dorothy Parker was famous for her clever and barbed witticisms. Her remarks were often aimed at others, but sometimes she laughed at herself with a self-deprecating comment. I particularly enjoy the statement she made when asked about her fame: Yes, I once was the …

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