I Never Liked the Men I Loved, and Never Loved the Men I Liked

Fanny Brice? Fannie Hurst? Norman Katkov? Ray Stark? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Falling in love with someone occurs because of unconstrained desires and emotions. The decision is not based on clearsighted logic and rationality. In retrospect, an infatuation might seem foolish or destructive. An unhappy humorist once commented on this behavior. Here are two versions:

  • I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.
  • I never liked the man I loved, and never loved the man I liked.

These statements illustrate antimetabole, the elegant repetition of clauses containing transposed words. Would you please tell me who deserves credit for this saying?

Quote Investigator: Fanny Brice was a popular comedienne, singer, and actress who died in 1951. In 1953 journalist and scriptwriter Norman Katkov published a biography titled “The Fabulous Fanny”. Brice’s three marriages ended in divorce. Her second husband was a gambler who served time in prison. The following excerpt presented her thoughts on love. Boldface added to excerpts by QI: 1

“When you’re young,” she continued, “you make pictures in your head, you have ideas. You pick the type guy you want. But if I went to a party, and there was one no-good bastard in the room, I’d go for him right away. It’s so funny: for my friends I must have admiration and I must respect them. In fact, I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.”

The book was based on many hours of recordings made by Brice in 1951 for a future memoir. This plan was derailed by the comedienne’s death in 1953, and Katkov was commissioned to create an authorized biography. 2 The accuracy of this quotation depends on the veracity of Katkov. Several later instances of this quotation can be traced back to this book.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading I Never Liked the Men I Loved, and Never Loved the Men I Liked

Notes:

  1. 1953, The Fabulous Fanny: The Story of Fanny Brice by Norman Katkov, Chapter 7: Nick Arnstein, Quote Page 89, Alfred A. Knopf, New York. (Verified with scans)
  2. 1968 September 15, The New York Times, ‘Come On, Let’s Stop a Minute To See Snooks’ by Ray Stark, Quote Page D15, New York. (ProQuest)

A Woman Has To Be Twice as Good as a Man To Go Half as Far

Fannie Hurst? Joan Lowell? Jack Lewis? Lewis Browne? Myrtelle L. Gunsul? Lilias F. Evans? Anna Judge Vetters Levy? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Fannie Hurst was popular novelist who was born in 1885. She believed that women faced greater obstacles to professional success than men. Apparently, she employed the following expression:

A woman must be twice as good as a man to get half as far.

Do you know whether she coined this remark? Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: Fannie Hurst did help to popularize this statement by using it on multiple occasions. For example, in 1943 she attended the National Conference of Women sponsored by “The New York Times” and said the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI: 1

Fannie Hurst, novelist, deplored comparative lack of leadership that women have shown through past ages. “Our much vaunted strength is largely wordage,” she said. “A woman still has to be twice as good as a man in order to get half as far.”

Yet, Hurst did not craft this saying; it was already in circulation. Interestingly, in 1927 an analogous expression was applied to black boxers by a promoter who was quoted in a Nebraska newspaper: 2

All of which leads Genial Jack Lewis to remark, with justification, that a Negro pug must be twice as good as a white fist-fighter to get half as far.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading A Woman Has To Be Twice as Good as a Man To Go Half as Far

Notes:

  1. 1943 April 27, Miami Daily News, Women Will Have New World Status by Beth Blair, Quote Page 11A, Column 5, Miami, Florida. (Newspapers_com)
  2. 1927 April 21, The Omaha World-Herald, Section: Sports, The Sportolog by Frederick Ware, Quote Page 3, Column 1, Omaha, Nebraska. (GenealogyBank)