Quote Investigator® – Page 17

Quote Origin: Doctors Are Paid To Talk Nonsense With the Patient Until Nature Heals Or the Remedies Kill

Voltaire? Molière? Jean Scholastique Pitton? Nicolas Frémont d’Ablancourt? Pierre Ortigue de Vaumorière? Benjamin Franklin? Laurence Sterne? Samuel Johnson? Ben Jonson? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A family of sayings presents a humorously cynical viewpoint about medicine. Here are four examples:

(1) Physicians sit by your bedside till they kill you, or nature cures you.

(2) A physician picks our pockets by talking unintelligible stuff in a sick man’s chamber, till nature cures or medicines kill him.

(3) Doctors are paid for talking jargon to their patients, till either nature cures, or their medicines kill ’em.

(4) The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

The famous French philosopher and satirist Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has received credit for this expression. Also, the prominent French playwright Molière (Jean-Baptiste Poquelin) has received credit. However, I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in the 1678 book “Les Eaux Chaudes de La Ville D’Aix” (“The Hot Waters of the City of Aix”) by French writer and historian Jean Scholastique Pitton. The character Eraste stated that medicine was a strange profession. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

… où l’on êtourdissoit souvent un pauvre malade de raisons frivoles de son mal, & d’un flus de paroles, mêlées avec des termes qui dans le fond ne signifient rien, pour l’amuser par l’usage de certains remedes bons ou mauvais en attendant que la nature le tue ou le guerisse.

Below is one possible translation:

… where a poor patient was often dazed with frivolous reasons for his ailment, & a flurry of words, mixed with terms that basically meant nothing, to amuse him by the use of certain good or bad remedies while waiting for nature to kill or cure him.

Thus, Pitton helped to popularize the expression, but he did not take credit for it.

Molière died in 1673, and he tentatively received credit by 1705. QI believes that that current evidence connecting Molière to the saying is weak.

Voltaire was born in 1694 and died in 1778. Hence, the saying was circulating before his birth. The saying is not listed in the helpful reference “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille.² Voltaire was given credit in 1842 which is quite late. QI believes Voltaire did not create this quip, and there is no substantive evidence that he employed it.

The irregular spelling in the French excerpts in this article are based on the original texts. Links in the bibliographic notes lead to scans of the texts. Please notify QI of typos. Passages in French are followed by English translations.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: They Lie To Us, We Know They’re Lying, They Know We Know They’re Lying But They Keep Lying Anyway, and We Keep Pretending To Believe Them

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn? Elena Gorokhova? Marah Ellis Ryan? Rex Stout? Arleigh A. Burke? Anonymous?

Matryoshka doll symbolizing nested lies from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: People living under oppressive rulers know that they are being fed lies, but their responses are limited. Also, the rulers know that the populace contains cynical disbelievers. Yet, the rituals of deception continue:

(1) They lie.
(2) We know they are lying.
(3) They know we know they are lying.
(4) They keep lying.
(5) We keep pretending to believe.

This series of statements has been attributed to anonymous citizens of the former Soviet Union and Eastern Europe during the cold war. It has also been ascribed to the famous Russian writer Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. I have not seen a precise citation; hence, I am uncertain. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has not yet found a match for this series of expressions in the books or speeches of Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

A close match appeared in the 2010 book “A Mountain of Crumbs: A Memoir” by Elena Gorokhova who was born in 1955 in Leningrad (now Saint Petersburg). One theme of her memoir was the “game of vranyo”, i.e., the game of pretending. Gorokhova described a set of rules for the game. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The rules are simple: they lie to us, we know they’re lying, they know we know they’re lying but they keep lying anyway, and we keep pretending to believe them.

The quotation above occurred in a section about Gorokhova’s experiences as a teenager, but she did not specify an exact time period for the quotation. Partially matching statements have been circulating for decades, but QI believes that the formulation above should be credited to Gorokhova.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Time Flies; You Cannot; They Pass At Such Irregular Intervals

Mr X of The Royal Magazine? Boys’ Life Magazine? Anonymous?

**Illustration of a stopwatch from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A linguistic puzzle asks the reader to correctly punctuate the following sentence:

Time flies you cannot they pass at such irregular intervals.

A similar puzzle asks the reader to punctuate this sentence:

Time flies you cannot they go too quickly.

Most readers are familiar with the idiom “time flies” which highlights the perception that time passes quickly, but that semantic interpretation is misleading when analyzing the sentences above. Here is one possible solution for each sentence:

Time flies; you cannot; they pass at such irregular intervals.
Time flies; you cannot; they go too quickly.

The word “flies” corresponds to the insects. The word “time” refers to measuring the speed of the insects. Would you please explore the history of this puzzle?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1903 “The Royal Magazine” in London, England published the first sentence, and asked readers to interpret it. The puzzle was posed by the pseudonymous “Mr. X” who also asked readers to supply more brain-twisters. Boldface added to excerpts bi QI:¹

Time flies you cannot they pass at such irregular intervals.

is a very clever catch sentence.

Mr. X is making a collection of puzzling sentences, and will be glad to hear from readers who know of any good ones.

The following month the magazine printed the answer. The interpretation of the phrase “time flies” diverged significantly from its traditional meaning:²

Time flies; you cannot; they pass at such irregular intervals.

(“Time,” of course, being used in the sense of timing a race, and “flies” being the well-known summer insects.)

Based on these citations, the puzzle was popularized by Mr. X. It is possible that Mr. X created this brainteaser. Alternatively, this item was already in circulation and the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Next Best Thing To Being Clever Is Being Able To Quote Someone Who Is

Mary Pettibone Poole? A. A. Milne? Dorothy L. Sayers? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: If you cannot think of something clever to say then you can resort to the next best strategy. You can quote someone else who is clever. This point has been expressed with a concise statement. Would you please help me to determine the creator and find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A matching quip appeared in the 1938 collection of quotations titled “A Glass Eye at a Keyhole” edited by Mary Pettibone Poole. Some of the items in the collection were already in circulation, and some were formulated by Poole. QI conjectures that the following was authored by Poole. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote some one who is.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: To Live Is So Startling, It Leaves But Little Room for Other Occupations

Emily Dickinson? Mabel Loomis Todd? Rumer Godden? Apocryphal?

**Photogravure of Emily Dickinson by artist Laura Coombs Hill**

Question for Quote Investigator: Life can be overwhelming. The flow of experience induces intense sensations and emotions. Changes in the world and in each individual are continuous and unavoidable. Here are two versions of a pertinent observation:

(1) To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
(2) To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations.

This notion has been attributed to the famous nineteenth-century poet Emily Dickinson. Is this attribution correct? Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing and a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In the winter of 1871 Emily Dickinson sent a letter to Unitarian minister Thomas Wentworth Higginson who was one of her literary mentors. The letter appeared in the 1894 collection “Letters of Emily Dickinson” edited by Mabel Loomis Todd. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:¹

To live is so startling, it leaves but little room for other occupations, though friends are, if possible, an event more fair.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Be Sincere; Be Brief; Be Seated

Franklin D. Roosevelt? James Roosevelt? Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher? William ‘Buster’ Collier Jr.? C. Z. Weiser? Anonymous?

**Empty seats before a speech from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Successful public speaking is both difficult and stressful, but it can be highly rewarding. The following tripartite guidance is both cogent and humorous. Here are two versions:

Be brief, be sincere. and be seated.
Be sincere, be brief, and be seated.

These words have been credited to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, but I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest ascription to Franklin D. Roosevelt located by QI appeared in “The Washington Post” in January 1940. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The other day James Roosevelt opened a talk he made at Hollywood by saying: “My father gave me these hints on speechmaking. Be sincere … be brief … be seated.”

Thus, there is some evidence that F.D.R. employed the expression while conversing with his son James. However, the remark was already circulating before 1940, and it is unlikely that F.D.R. coined it.

For example, in February 1935 U.S. actor Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher appeared on stage in a farce titled “Hollywood Holiday”. After a successful performance there were multiple curtain calls. When Gallagher appeared he delivered a one-line speech:²

Gallagher said his mother had often told him, “When you are called upon to make a speech, always be brief, sincere and be seated.”

It is conceivable that the expression was originally crafted by the mother of Richard ‘Skeets’ Gallagher, but the existence of other apparently unrelated citations in 1935 suggest to QI that the creator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Have Not Got Any Money, So We Have Got To Think

Winston Churchill? Ernest Rutherford? Henry Tizard? Apocryphal?

**Picture of miscellaneous currency from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: When access to money is restricted it becomes more difficult to accomplish tasks. Deeper and more creative thought is required to make progress. Here are four versions of a pertinent expression:

(1) We have not got any money, so we have got to think.
(2) We haven’t any money so we’ve got to think.
(3) We have run out of money. I guess we’ll have to think.
(4) We are running short of money, so we must begin to think.

This notion has been ascribed to the prominent New Zealand physicist Ernest Rutherford and to the famous British statesman Winston Churchill. I am skeptical because I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1952 English chemist Henry Tizard was awarded the Messel Medal of the Society of Chemical Industry. He delivered a speech at a meeting of the organization on July 9^th which was reported in the journal “The Chemical Age” on July 19^th.Tizard employed the saying in his speech, but he credited colleague Ernest Rutherford. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It was just as easy, Sir Henry said, to waste money on research as on anything else—especially if it were the taxpayers’ money. In this connection he recalled a remark once made by the late Lord Rutherford concerning the advantage held by scientists—‘We have not got any money, so we have got to think.’

Tizard clearly felt that the saying was valuable because he used it twice during his speech:²

It was more important to strengthen our technology than to expand our science. We must avoid the luxury of employing first-class scientists on second-class projects. Science was not enough; and he again quoted Lord Rutherford’s words, ‘We have not got any money, so we have got to think.’

The above passages from 1952 are the earliest matches known to QI. Ernest Rutherford died in 1937. The accuracy of the quotation and its ascription is based upon the memory and veracity of Tizard.

Attributions to Winston Churchill appeared by the 1990s, but he died in 1965. The saying does not appear in the comprehensive reference “Churchill By Himself: In His Own Words” compiled by Richard M. Langworth.³ QI believes that the linkage to Churchill is not substantive.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Struggle Between the Admitted Desire To Dress and the Unadmitted Desire To Undress

Lin Yutang? Sydney J. Harris? Carl Bakal? Anonymous?

**Dress with a revealing slit from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The kaleidoscopic world of fashion contains fluctuating hemlines, shifting necklines, transparent fabrics, and revealing slits. A pundit once stated that fashion embodies the struggle between the admitted desire to dress and the unadmitted desire to undress. Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1937 “Vogue” magazine published an essay by Chinese linguist and inventor Lin Yutang which discussed contemporary fashion. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

At present, probably the most sophisticated innovation is the long gown with a high slit at the sides, coming away above the knees. The instinct, I feel, is essentially French. For women’s dress is most bewitching when there is a subtle interplay between the art of concealment and the art of revelation. All women’s dresses, in every age and country, are merely variations on the eternal theme of struggle between the admitted desire to dress and the unadmitted desire to undress.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: One Day in Retrospect the Years of Struggle Will Strike You As the Most Beautiful

Sigmund Freud? C. G. Jung? Apocryphal?

**A person climbing a cliff from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Apparently, a famous psychoanalyst once said that when one looks back at one’s life the periods of struggle will be considered the most beautiful. Do you know whether something like this was said by Sigmund Freud or C. G. Jung?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1907 psychotherapist Sigmund Freud wrote a letter to his colleague C. G. Jung in which he encouraged Jung to continue his efforts despite opposition. Freud wished to found a journal which would be called “Internationale Zeitschrift für Psychoanalyse”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Let us found our journal. People will grumble, buy and read it. One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

Freud penned the original statement in German. The translation above by Tania and James Stern appeared in the “Letters of Sigmund Freud” in 1960.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: A Camel Is a Horse That Was Designed by a Committee

Charles F. Kettering? Alec Issigonis? T. R. Quaife? Norris Cotton? Paul H. Gilbert? Jimmy Durante? Ed Byron? Georg Christoph Lichtenberg? Anonymous?

**Illustration of two camels from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: When the opinions of committee members diverge significantly it becomes difficult to formulate a coherent consensus. This notion has been humorously expressed with a clever adage:

A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

U.S. inventor Charles F. Kettering and U.K. automotive designer Alec Issigonis have received credit for this saying, but I am skeptical because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “Reader’s Digest” magazine in September 1954 within a section titled “Toward More Picturesque Speech”. The word ‘horse’ was omitted; hence, the match was incomplete. Yet, the key idea was communicated with the words ‘camel’ and ‘committee’. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

A camel looks like something put together by a committee (T. R. Quaife)

Often sayings published in “Reader’s Digest” were reprinted in other periodicals and achieved wide distribution. For example, the saying above appeared in November 1954 within the “Stockton Evening Record” of Stockton, California. The newspaper acknowledged “Reader’s Digest”.² The saying also appeared in the “Manchester Evening News” of Manchester, England. The newspaper acknowledged T. R. Quaife.³

In December 1957 the full quip with the word ‘horse’ appeared within a joke published in “Sports Illustrated” magazine:⁴

Child: Daddy, what is a camel?
Father: What is a what?
Child: What is a camel?
Father: A camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

Thus, T. R. Quaife is the leading candidate for creator of the core expression using ‘camel’ and ‘committee’. An anonymous person improved the saying by adding the word ‘horse’.

Thematic precursors depicted the humorous transformation of animals such as the donkey, horse, camel, and cow. Below is an overview with dates representing the evolution of the joke:

1801: Der Esel kommt mir vor wie ein Pferd ins Holländische übersetzt. (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg) Translation: The donkey seems to me like a horse translated into Dutch.

1946 Feb: Daffynition: CAMEL: A warped horse. (Paul H. Gilbert)

1949 Nov: A camel is a horse that swallowed its saddle. (Attributed to Jimmy Durante)

1950 Oct: “What is your definition of a camel?” “That’s a cow upside down.” (Billy Glason)

1954 Sep: A camel looks like something put together by a committee (Attributed to T. R. Quaife in “Reader’s Digest”)

1955 Nov: Even a camel reminds you of an animal that was put together by a committee. (Anonymous)

1956 Feb: giraffe—it’s the kind of an animal that looks like it had been put together by a committee. (Anonymous)

1957 Apr: camel—a beast that looks as if it had been designed by a committee. (Anonymous)

1957 Dec: Child: What is a camel? Father: A camel is a horse that was designed by a committee. (Anonymous)

1958 Feb: A camel is a horse put together by a TV network planning board. (Credited to Ed Byron by Leonard Lyons)

1958 Mar: Heard the new definition of a camel? It’s a race horse designed by a committee. (Anonymous)

1958 Jul: The refreshed definition of a camel: a horse planned by a committee. (Anonymous)

1959 Jun: Definition of a camel: this is “a greyhound put together by a committee.” (Anonymous)

1961 Apr: A camel is a horse designed by a committee. (Attributed to Charles F. Kettering)

1964 Jul: The camel was an example of a horse designed by a committee. (Attributed to Alec Issigonis)

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.