No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Clare Boothe Luce? Oscar Wilde? Walter Map? Marie Belloc Lowndes? James Agate? Leo Pavia? Walter Winchell? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: For centuries moral philosophers have propounded a conventional viewpoint about the rewards and punishments delivered by a deity. Here is an example from the “Summa Theologica” by Saint Thomas Aquinas who lived during the 13th …

If Something Cannot Go On Forever It Will Stop

Herbert Stein? Paul Krugman? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Economic trends are sometimes unsettling. For example, political commentators in countries that develop large foreign trade deficits often complain that the situation is untenable. A prominent economist responded to this fretting with a tautology. Here are four versions: If something cannot go on forever, it will stop. …

Without Magic, There Is No Art. Without Art, There Is No Idealism

Raymond Chandler? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Raymond Chandler wrote influential detective novels such as “The Big Sleep” and “The Long Goodbye”. He moved to Hollywood and co-wrote the screenplay for the film noir classic “Double Indemnity”, but Chandler grew to dislike the heavy hand of producers, directors, and censorship boards on the writing process. He …

I Never Argue with a Man Who Buys Ink by the Barrel

Roger Branigin? Mark Twain? Charles Brownson? Irving Leibowitz? William I. Greener Jr.? H. L. Mencken? Benjamin Franklin? Dear Quote Investigator: If a newspaper editor or publisher dislikes a viewpoint you are advocating then you may have to endure a long series of negative articles. The following three statements express this notion: Never argue with a …

Life Is a Shipwreck, But We Must Not Forget To Sing in the Lifeboats

Voltaire? Peter Gay? William F. Bottiglia? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Many dubious quotations have been ascribed to the preeminent French satirist and philosopher Voltaire. One popular saying depicts life as a metaphorical shipwreck. The survivors are exhorted to sing while sitting in the lifeboats. Is this saccharine guidance really from the acrid pen of Voltaire? …

Long Enough to Cover the Subject and Short Enough to Create Interest

Winston Churchill? Ronald Knox? Gerald K. Rudulph? C. H. McNider? Richard N. Elliott? Louis Sobol? Frances Langford? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The famous statesman and orator Winston Churchill was asked about the length of an ideal address, and he supposedly said: A speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject …

Every Individual Is an Exception to the Rule

Carl Jung? James L. McAllister Jr.? Malcolm Gladwell? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The following postulate embodies a flexible outlook on life: There is an exception to every rule. The famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung promulgated an even stronger adage about people: Every individual is an exception to the rule. Would you please help me to …

Taxation Is the Art of Plucking the Goose without Making It Squeal

Jean-Baptiste Colbert? Anne Robert Jacques Turgot? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Governments face resistance and resentment when they attempt to raise funds through taxation. Apparently, a French wit crafted the following vivid figurative expression. Here are two versions: Taxation is the art of plucking the goose without making it squeal. The art of taxation is procuring …

In Theory There Is No Difference Between Theory and Practice, While In Practice There Is

Yogi Berra? Albert Einstein? Richard Feynman? Benjamin Brewster? Charles F. Kettering? Walter J. Savitch? Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut? Dave Jeske? Chuck Reid? Dear Quote Investigator: The following popular adage balances unsteadily between brilliance and absurdity: In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not. This notion has been attributed …

What Might Have Happened, If That Which Did Happen, Had Not Happened, I Cannot Undertake To Say

Lord Palmerston? George Ward Nichols? John Moncure? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Describing a counterfactual world typically requires a comically twisted statement: What would have happened if what did happen had not happened? These words have been attributed to British statesman Lord Palmerston, but I have been unable to find a citation. Would you please help? …