Never Attribute to Malice That Which Is Adequately Explained by Stupidity

Robert Heinlein? Napoleon Bonaparte? Ayn Rand? David Hume? Johann Wolfgang von Goethe? Robert J. Hanlon? Arthur Cushman McGiffert? William James Laidlay? Ernst Haeckel? Thomas F. Woodlock? Nick Diamos? Dear Quote Investigator: It is easy to impute hostility to the actions of others when a situation is actually unclear. A popular insightful adage attempts to constrain …

Never Go To a Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Erma Bombeck? Paul Dickson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, while sitting in the waiting room of a medical office I noticed that the potted plants were in dire condition. This was a bad omen, and I vaguely recall a joke about this situation. Can you help? Quote Investigator: The humorist Erma Bombeck wrote a widely …

The Most Beautiful Word in the English Language Is Benign

Erma Bombeck? Woody Allen? L. M. Boyd? Mark Hatfield? David B. Whitlock? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: If you or a loved one has faced cancer then the following assertion would be understandable: The most beautiful word in the English language is ‘benign’. This notion has been attributed to two well-known humorists Erma Bombeck and Woody …

We First Make Our Habits and Then Our Habits Make Us

John Dryden? Frederick Langbridge? Tryon Edwards? Nathanael Emmons? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: A remarkably insightful statement about patterns of behavior is usually credited to the famous English poet John Dryden who died in 1700: We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. I have not been able to find a solid citation. …

It Is Wiser To Find Out Than To Suppose

Mark Twain? Merle Johnson? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I would like to use the following adage during a presentation to a large group: It is wiser to find out than to suppose. I plan to credit Mark Twain, but I know that if I am wrong it will be very embarrassing because the entire point …

Whatever We Achieve Inwardly Will Change Outer Reality

J. K. Rowling? Anaïs Nin? Plutarch? Otto Rank? Dear Quote Investigator: J. K. Rowling created the beloved fantasy universe of Harry Potter and the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She delivered a humorous and touching commencement address at Harvard University in 2008. While in college she studied the classics, and her address included a …

Sacred Cows Make the Best Hamburger

Mark Twain? Abbie Hoffman? Roy F. Nichols? George McKinnon? Aardvark Magazine? Graffito? Dear Quote Investigator: The following has often been ascribed to the famous humorist Mark Twain and the 1960s-era political activist Abbie Hoffman: Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger. Apologies for offensiveness. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression? Quote Investigator: QI …

Give Yourself Peace of Mind. You Deserve To Be Happy. You Deserve Delight

Hannah Arendt? Mark Victor Hansen? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Recently, I read the following upbeat message embracing egoism: Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. I was astonished when I saw it ascribed to the political theorist Hannah Arendt who wrote about the Nazi Adolf Eichmann and popularized the …

If You Are Going To Be a Bear, Be a Grizzly

Mohandas Gandhi? George Hyde Preston? Lynda Bird Johnson? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: The Indian independence leader Mahatma Gandhi who famously employed nonviolent strategies has implausibly been credited with the following piece of folk wisdom: If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly. Would you please explore this topic? Quote Investigator: QI has located …

What You Get By Reaching Your Goals Is Not Nearly So Important As What You Become By Reaching Them

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe? Henry David Thoreau? Zig Ziglar? Dear Quote Investigator: Many self-help and inspirational books contain this guidance: What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. These words have been ascribed to three disparate individuals: German literary titan Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, …