When I Was a Boy of Fourteen, My Father Was So Ignorant

Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I am interested in a fantastic quotation that I always thought was from the pen of Mark Twain: When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was …

Never Let Schooling Interfere With Your Education

Mark Twain? Grant Allen? Dear Quote Investigator: I am still in school and that is probably why the following quote attributed to Mark Twain appeals to me so much: I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Your blog posts about Twain quotations reveal that the information on the internet about what he …

I Would Rather Go To Bed With That Woman Stark Naked Than With Ulysses S. Grant in Full Military Regalia

Mark Twain? James Montgomery Flagg? William Dean Howells? Dear Quote Investigator: When I discovered your blog I knew just the right word to describe it: Quotesmanship. That word was used in the New York Times in 1980 to describe the desire to determine and use correct attributions for quotations [NYQM]. The author of the Quotesmanship …

No Respect for a Man Who Can Spell a Word Only One Way

Mark Twain? Nyrum Reynolds? Hiram Runnels? Andrew Jackson? Dear Quote Investigator: I sometimes have difficulty spelling words correctly. But I take comfort in the magnificent statement attributed to Mark Twain: I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. Actually, I used to take comfort in those words, …

Three Weeks to Prepare a Good Impromptu Speech

Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I have to present a speech soon, and I would like to use a quotation attributed to Mark Twain: It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. The intended audience has the background to know that impromptu means without planning or preparation, and the …

Golf is a Good Walk Spoiled

Mark Twain? William Gladstone? A Northern Gael? F. W. Payn? Sam Loates? The Allens? Harry Leon Wilson? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: I love to play golf, but sometimes when I am playing poorly I am tempted to simply walk the course and get some exercise. When I mentioned this to a friend he told me …

Quote Origin: Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt

Abraham Lincoln? Mark Twain? Biblical Proverb? Maurice Switzer? Arthur Burns? John Maynard Keynes? Confucius? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: Here are two versions of an entertaining saying that is often credited to Abraham Lincoln or Mark Twain: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. It’s …

Everybody Talks About the Weather, But Nobody Does Anything About It.

Mark Twain? Charles Dudley Warner? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a classic Mark Twain quotation about the weather that I have used for years. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. However, recently I visited the Bartleby website and discovered that the reference work Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations says …