Quote Investigator® – Page 114

Dialogue Origin: “I Enjoyed Your Book. Who Wrote It for You?” “I’m So Glad You Liked It. Who Read It To You?”

Ilka Chase vs. Humphrey Bogart? Ilka Chase vs. Anonymous Actress? Sylvia Strum Bremer vs. Cynic? Liz Carpenter vs. Arthur Schlesinger Jr.? Eric Morecambe vs. Ernie Wise?

Question for Quote Investigator: For many years ghostwriters have been composing books for well-known celebrities. The following prickly repartee shows that authorship is a sensitive topic:

“I enjoyed your book. Who wrote it for you?”
“Thanks. I wrote it myself. Who read it to you?”

Would you please explore the provenance of this banter?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match found by QI appeared in the syndicated gossip column of Harrison Carroll in April 1942. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Humphrey Bogart dropped out to see Ilka Chase on the set of “Now, Voyager.” He complimented her on her book, “Past Imperfect.” “I enjoyed your book very much,” he said grinning, “who wrote it?” “I’m so glad you like it,” was Ilka’s silken reply, “who read it to you?”

The book referenced was Chase’s autobiography which was released to reviewers in 1941. This dialogue was quite entertaining; however, in October 1952 Ilka Chase admitted that the story was invented by a press agent. See the 1952 citation listed further below for more details. Currently, the name of the press agent remains unknown.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Be Quick To Praise. People Like To Praise Those Who Praise Them

Creator: Bernard Baruch, U.S. financier, philanthropist, and presidential adviser

Context: In 1948 Bernard M. Baruch spoke at a youth forum sponsored by “The New York Daily Mirror” newspaper and offered several rules for success to his listeners including the following. Boldface added to excerpt:¹

Be quick to praise. People like to praise those who praise them. Be sincere in doing this.

Keep yourself tidy. . . .

Be helpful, that is the first definition of success.

Be cheerful. There are enough crepe-hangers around, without adding to the list.

This quotation is listed in William Safire’s compilation titled “Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice”.²

Update History: On April 10, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

1948 December 12, The Miami News, Rules For Success Listed By Baruch At Youth Forum (Associated Press), Quote Page 12A, Column 4, Miami, Florida. (Newspapers_com) ↩︎
1989, Words of Wisdom: More Good Advice, Compiled and edited by William Safire and Leonard Safir, Section: Praise, Quote Page 294, Simon and Schuster, New York. (Verified on paper) ↩︎

Quote Origin: If You Fail To Prepare You Are Preparing To Fail

Benjamin Franklin? H. K. Williams? James H. Hope? E. B. Gregory? Dalton E. Brady? Robert H. Schuller? John Wooden? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: Proper planning is fundamental to success. Benjamin Franklin has been credited with an admonitory aphorism. Here are three versions using “plan” and “prepare”:

Failing to plan is planning to fail.
The person who fails to plan, plans to fail.
By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.

The memorability of this statement is enhanced by the use of antimetabole: a clause is repeated with key words transposed. In this case, the suffixes are also swapped. Would you please trace this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive evidence that Benjamin Franklin employed this adage.

The first match known to QI appeared in the periodical “The Biblical World” in 1919. The Reverend H. K. Williams provided advice to people who were responsible for giving presentations to religious groups. Emphasis added to excerpts:¹

Be well prepared and brief in your remarks. There is positively no excuse for wasting another’s time by going to the meeting unprepared and rambling helplessly in your talk. Remember, if you fail to prepare you are preparing to fail.

This valuable citation is listed in “The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs” from Yale University Press.² QI hypothesizes that Williams was using an adage that was already in circulation although he may be credited with helping to popularize it. Future researchers will likely find earlier instances.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Remember You Are Half Water. If You Can’t Go Through an Obstacle, Go Around It

Creator: Margaret Atwood, prominent Canadian novelist and essayist

Context: Atwood’s 2005 novella “The Penelopiad” re-envisioned the myth of Odysseus by re-centering the tale on Penelope who was the wife of the ancient hero. Penelope’s father was King Icarius of Sparta, and her mother was a Naiad, i.e., a water nymph. Commenting on her partially divine status, Penelope stated:¹

Water is our element, it is our birthright. Although we are not such good swimmers as our mothers, we do have a way of floating, and we’re well connected among the fish and seabirds.

Penelope’s mother attended her wedding and delivered a short speech which her daughter described as “nothing if not oblique; but then, all Naiads are oblique”. The address included the following. Emphasis added to excerpts:²

Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.

A substantial fraction of the human body consists of water; estimates vary from 50 to 70 percent depending on age, gender, and measurement technique. Yet, Atwood was probably referring to the parentage of Penelope and not to the scientific evaluation of H2O in body tissue.

Acknowledgement: Thanks to Linda Carson who pointed to a sequence of tweets one of which mentioned a water bottle in London displaying the quotation.

Update History: On April 10, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

2005 Copyright, The Penelopiad: The Myth of Penelope and Odysseus by Margaret Atwood, Chapter 3: My Childhood, Quote Page 9, Canongate, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
2005 Copyright, The Penelopiad: The Myth of Penelope and Odysseus by Margaret Atwood, Chapter 7: The Scar, Quote Page 43, Canongate, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎

Quote Origin: There Are Three Types of People: Those Who Make Things Happen, Those Who Watch Things Happen, and Those Who Wonder What Happened

Nicholas Murray Butler? Tommy Lasorda? John Newbern? Laurence J. Peter? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a humorous three-fold categorization of people. The first group contains those who make things happen. Are you familiar with this saying? Would you please examine its provenance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In March 1931 Nicholas Murray Butler who was the President of Columbia University in New York delivered a speech on Charter Day at the University of California. Butler split the population into thee sets, but he noted that individuals could move from one set to another. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

The vast population of this earth, and indeed nations themselves, may readily be divided into three groups. There are the few who make things happen, the many more who watch things happen, and the overwhelming majority who have no notion of what happens. Every human being is born into this third and largest group; it is for himself, his environment and his education to determine whether he shall rise to the second group or even to the first.

Some periodicals and reference works identified Butler as the coiner of this expression, and researcher Barry Popik identified the pertinent speech.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Sometimes Remain Faithful To a Cause Merely Because Its Opponents Never Cease To Be Insipid

Creator: Friedrich Nietzsche

Context: In 1878 Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche published “Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für Freie Geister” (“Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits”). He employed an aphoristic style that explicated topics with short numbered passages and sayings. Item number 536 consisted of the following:¹

Werth abgeschmackter Gegner. — Man bleibt mitunter einer Sache nur desshalb treu, weil ihre Gegner nicht aufhören, abgeschmackt zu sein.

A translation of the volume from German to English appeared in 1915. The translator Helen Zimmern rendered item 536 as follows:²

THE VALUE OF INSIPID OPPONENTS—We sometimes remain faithful to a cause merely because its opponents never cease to be insipid.

In 1954 “The Portable Nietzsche” by translator Walter Kaufmann presented this version:³

The value of insipid opponents. At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.

Acknowledgement: Thanks to Dan Dulay who inquired about the authenticity of this saying.

Update History: On April 10, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

1878, Menschliches, Allzumenschliches: Ein Buch für Freie Geister (Human, All Too Human: A Book for Free Spirits) by Friedrich Nietzsche (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche), Statement Number 536, Quote Page 340, Published by Ernst Schmeitzner, Chemnitz. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎
1915, Human, All-Too-Human: A Book for Free Spirits by Friedrich Nietzsche, Part I, Translated by Helen Zimmern, Statement Number 536, Quote Page 365, The Macmillan Company, New York. (Internet Archive Full View) link ↩︎
1976 (1954 Copyright), The Portable Nietzsche by Friedrich Nietzsche, Translated by Walter Kaufmann, FROM: Human, All-Too-Human, Statement Number 536, Unnumbered Page, Penguin Books, New York. (Google Books Preview) ↩︎

Quote Origin: I Shall Live Bad If I Do Not Write and I Shall Write Bad If I Do Not Live

Françoise Sagan? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The French playwright and novelist Françoise Sagan whose best known novel was “Bonjour Tristesse” led a passionate and eventful life. The following remark emphasizing the duality of a literary career has been ascribed to her:

I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live.

I have been unable to find a good citation. Would you please help?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A version of this statement appeared in “The New York Times” in 1956. The poet and book reviewer Harvey Breit asked an intermediary to inquire whether Françoise Sagan would be willing to write an article for the newspaper. The potential topics included: Paris, youth, or herself. Breit employed nonstandard spelling to represent the accent and speech of Sagan’s response. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

What could I say about Parees that as not been said before? And youth? I feel forty years removed from youth. About myself? I can tell in one sentence: I shall live bad if I do not write and I shall write bad if I do not live.”

A native speaker of English would have used the word “badly” instead of “bad”, but the sentence reflects Sagan’s command of English in 1956.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: When Audiences Come To See Authors Lecture, It Is Largely in the Hope That We’ll Be Funnier To Look at Than To Read

Sinclair Lewis? Max Herzberg? Bennett Cerf? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The American writer, social activist, and noble laureate Sinclair Lewis wondered why big audiences came to hear lectures given by authors. He humorously suggested that attendees might be hoping to see funny looking authors. Is Lewis’s self-deprecating observation genuine?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1938 Sinclair Lewis wrote an essay in “Newsweek” magazine titled “That Was a Good Lecture” which discussed speeches delivered by book authors. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

I can understand why lecture addicts go to look at British explorers, Russian princesses, and Balinese dancers, because they have pretty lantern slides or tiaras or legs. But it is incomprehensible why in fairly large numbers they flock out to view a novelist or a poet. Is it because they hope he will be even funnier to look at than to read?

The joke was not presented in an easily quotable form. Lewis employed a prefatory comment followed by a rhetorical question.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Always Have a Quotation for Everything—It Saves Original Thinking

Creator: Dorothy L. Sayers, prominent English mystery writer, playwright, and poet

Context: Sayers published the crime novel “Have His Carcase” in 1932. The quotation was spoken by Lord Peter Wimsey while he was conversing with Harriet Vane. Emphasis added to excerpts:¹

“There’s something in that. But I’ll have to get a decent frock if there is such a thing in Wilvercombe.”

“Well, get a wine-coloured one, then. I’ve always wanted to see you in wine-colour. It suits people with honey-coloured skin. (What an ugly word ‘skin’ is.) ‘Blossoms of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured nenuphar’—I always have a quotation for everything—it saves original thinking.”

Wimsey was quoting from the poem “The Sphinx” by Oscar Wilde which included the following lines:²

Or did huge Apis from his car leap down and lay before your feet

Big blossoms of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured nenuphar?

Some editions of “Have His Carcase” employed the incorrect spelling “menuphar” instead of “nenuphar” (water-lily).

Update History: On April 10, 2025 the format of the bibliographical notes was updated.

1975 (Copyright 1932), Have His Carcase by Dorothy L. Sayers, Series: A Lord Peter Wimsey Novel, Quote Page 52 and 53, Avon Books: A Division of The Hearst Corporation, New York. (Verified with scans) ↩︎
1909 Copyright, Complete Writings of Oscar Wilde, Poems, Poem: The Sphinx (1894), Start Page 287, Quote Page 297, The Nottingham Society, New York. (Google Books Full View) link ↩︎

Quote Origin: Civilization Will Not Attain To Its Perfection, Until the Last Stone from the Last Church Falls on the Last Priest

Émile Zola? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: The prominent French novelist and journalist Émile Zola has been credited with an inflammatory anti-clerical statement. Here are three versions in English:

Civilization will thrive only when the last stone, from the last church has fallen on the last priest.
Civilization will not attain perfection, until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest.
Humanity will not fulfill its true potential until the last stone from the last church falls on the last preacher.

Would you please explore the provenance of this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Émile Zola’s 1901 novel “Travail” contains a scene during which the last church collapses on top of the last abbot. Here is a rendering of the dramatic event in English. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:¹

The roof cracked open with a sound like thunder. The steeple shook, and then fell, laying the nave open to the sky, and pulling down with it the disjointed walls. Nothing remained under the bright sun but an enormous pile of stones and débris, beneath which they never found the mangled body of Abbé Marle, who seemed to have been crushed to dust under the ruins of the altar. Nor did they ever find any fragments of the great painted and gilded wooden crucifix, which also had been ground to powder. A religion had been killed along with the last priest, celebrating his last mass in the last church.

QI has not yet found solid evidence that Zola crafted the expression under analysis. Perhaps someone who read “Travail” constructed the statement to represent the attitude depicted within the novel. Next, the words were directly reassigned to Zola. This two-step process provides an admittedly speculative explanation for the existence of the quotation.

Émile Zola died in 1902. The first strong match for the quotation located by QI occurred in the 1930 citation listed further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.