Tag: Leonard Lyons

“Are You With the Show?” “Well, Let’s Just Say I’m Not Against It”

George S. Kaufman? Dick Cavett? Howard Dietz? Leonard Lyons? Howard Teichmann? Anonymous?

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent theater producer was unhappy with the tryout performance of a show that he was funding. A stagehand did not recognize the producer which led to the following dialog:

“Are you with the show?”
“No, I’m against it!”

A variant joke employed similar wordplay. A well-regarded writer was called upon to improve a script. He attempted to enter the theater to see a rehearsal, but the doorman did not recognize him:

“Excuse me, sir; are you with the show?”
“Well, let’s just say I’m not against it.”

Would you please explore the provenance of this word play?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a short item published in the “The Kansas City Star” newspaper of Missouri in 1906. The dialog participants were both anonymous. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1906 May 13, The Kansas City Star, Some People of the Stage, Quote Page 9, Column 1, Kansas City, Missouri. (Newspapers_com)

It was at the stage door at Wallack’s, New York, one night recently during the brief “run” of the since defunct “District Leader.” Among those awaiting the exit of members of the company were several theatrical friends. Two of them met for the first time in months. Said one:
“Are you with the show?”
Growled the other, who doubtless had sat it out on a pass:
“No; I’m against it!”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Are You With the Show?” “Well, Let’s Just Say I’m Not Against It”

References

References
↑1 1906 May 13, The Kansas City Star, Some People of the Stage, Quote Page 9, Column 1, Kansas City, Missouri. (Newspapers_com)

A Clever Person Solves a Problem. A Wise Person Avoids It

Albert Einstein? Jerome Halprin? Abba Eban? Leonard Lyons? Sidney Greenberg? Paul Connett? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A popular quip highlights the distinction between the adjectives clever and wise:

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

This notion can also be expressed as follows:

A clever person gets out of a situation that a wise person would never get into.

The first statement is often attributed to Albert Einstein, but I have been unable to find a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Einstein wrote or spoke either of the statements above. Neither is listed in the comprehensive reference “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein” from Princeton University Press. Einstein died in 1955, and he received credit for the saying many years afterward in 1992.[1] 2010, The Ultimate Quotable Einstein, Edited by Alice Calaprice, Section: (Statement does not appear), Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey. (Verified on paper)

This quip is difficult to trace because it can be phrased in many ways. The earliest match located by QI appeared on April 11, 1969 in the “Jewish Journal” of New Brunswick, New Jersey within a short editorial piece without a byline titled “Nobody Asked Me, But”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[2] 1969 April 11, Jewish Journal, Nobody Asked Me, But, Quote Page 2, Column 1, New Brunswick, New Jersey. (GenealogyBank)

Do you know the difference between a clever man and a wise man? A clever man gets out of situations that a wise man would never get into.

The editor listed on the masthead of the “Jewish Journal” was Jerome Halprin, so he might be credited with the joke, but QI believes the quip was probably already circulating with an anonymous origin.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading A Clever Person Solves a Problem. A Wise Person Avoids It

References

References
↑1 2010, The Ultimate Quotable Einstein, Edited by Alice Calaprice, Section: (Statement does not appear), Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey. (Verified on paper)
↑2 1969 April 11, Jewish Journal, Nobody Asked Me, But, Quote Page 2, Column 1, New Brunswick, New Jersey. (GenealogyBank)

Co-Authoring a Book Is Like Three People Getting Together To Have a Baby

Evelyn Waugh? Agatha Christie? Hilary St. George Saunders? Leonard Lyons? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Collaborating on a complex project like writing a novel is impossible for many people. English writer Evelyn Waugh said something like the following:

Coauthoring a book is like three people getting together to have a baby.

Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: In April 1943 the prominent gossip columnist Leonard Lyons wrote about British novelist Evelyn Waugh and British historian Hilary St. George Saunders. Waugh was surprised to learn that Saunders was able to work together with another writer to successfully coauthor a book. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1943 April 7, The Washington Post, Times Square Tattle by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page B6, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

Of Saunders’ other writings, Waugh said: “But he collaborates. I never can understand how two men can write a book together. To me, that’s like three people getting together to have a baby.”

In the age of surrogate mothers and in vitro fertilization the notion of three (or more) people collaborating to produce a child is no longer outlandish.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Co-Authoring a Book Is Like Three People Getting Together To Have a Baby

References

References
↑1 1943 April 7, The Washington Post, Times Square Tattle by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page B6, Column 4, Washington D.C. (ProQuest)

“Now That He Is Minister of War I Feel Safe” “Why?” “Well, When He Was Minister of Fuel We Had No Fuel”

Winston Churchill? Alexander Ince? Leonard Lyons? Emanuel Shinwell? John Williams Hughes? Drew Pearson? Eleanor Boardman? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Ensuring the smooth operation of the industry sector that supplies energy to a country is a crucial task. Here is an example of the type of mockery aimed at a politician who botched this important mission:

“Wonderful news about the new Minister of War. Peace is assured!”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, when he was Minster of Coal we had no coal. Now that he is Minister of War, surely we shall have no war.”

This joke has been attributed to statesman Winston Churchill. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: The “New York Herald Tribune” reported that British Prime Minister Clement Attlee changed several ministerial appointees on October 7, 1947. Emanuel Shinwell who had been the Minister of Fuel and Power was transferred to the post of Secretary of State for War (also known as Minister of War).[1] 1947 October 8, New York Herald Tribune, Attlee Drops 11 Labor Ministers Ousts Shinwell From Fuel Pos by Ned Russell, Quote Page 1, Column 6, New York. (ProQuest)

The earliest match for the quotation located by QI appeared in the syndicated U.S. newspaper column of Leonard Lyons on October 25, 1947. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[2] 1947 October 25, Asbury Park Evening Press, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 8, Column 5,Asbury Park, New Jersey. (Newspapers_com)

Alexander Ince reports that when Emanuel Shinwell was removed as minister of fuel and became minister of war, his friends rejoiced and said: “Peace at last is assured us. Because when Shinwell was minister of fuel, we had no fuel. And now he’s minister of war, so we’ll have no war.”

This report indicated that the creator of the quip was anonymous. Also, the remark originated as a friendly barb and not a harsh criticism.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Now That He Is Minister of War I Feel Safe” “Why?” “Well, When He Was Minister of Fuel We Had No Fuel”

References

References
↑1 1947 October 8, New York Herald Tribune, Attlee Drops 11 Labor Ministers Ousts Shinwell From Fuel Pos by Ned Russell, Quote Page 1, Column 6, New York. (ProQuest)
↑2 1947 October 25, Asbury Park Evening Press, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 8, Column 5,Asbury Park, New Jersey. (Newspapers_com)

You Are My Fifth Favorite Actor. The First Four Are the Marx Brothers

George Bernard Shaw? Winston Churchill? Cedric Hardwicke? Blanche Patch? Leonard Lyons? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: According to a Hollywood legend, a famous intellectual or statesman once praised a prominent actor with a left-handed compliment. Here are two versions:

  • You are my fifth favorite actor. The first four are the Marx Brothers.
  • You are my fourth favorite actor. The first three are the Marx Brothers.

The famous person was supposedly George Bernard Shaw or Winston Churchill. The actor was the English star of the stage and screen Cedric Hardwicke. Would you please explore this entertaining tale?

Quote Investigator: Five Marx brothers were involved in the entertainment business; they employed the following stage names: Chico, Harpo, Groucho, Zeppo, and Gummo. The first four appeared in several movies together, but only the first three achieved stardom.

The earliest strong match for the anecdote located by QI appeared in the Hollywood gossip column of Leonard Lyons in 1946. The quotation emerged via a dialog. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1946 March 14, The Dayton Daily News, The Lyons Den: Pauley Turns Ickes Photo To the Wall by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 11, Column 3, Dayton, Ohio. (Newspapers_com)

Sir Cedric Hardwicke, now, co-starring with Katharine Cornell in “Antigone,” starred in some of Shaw’s plays in London. Shaw once told him: “Cedric, you are my fourth favorite actor.” Hardwicke asked: “G. B. S., who are the other three?” And Shaw replied: “The Marx Bros.”

This version referred to three Marx Brothers instead of four. Lyons indicated that he heard the anecdote from Hardwicke, and QI conjectures that Hardwicke constructed this humorous story by altering a comment made by Shaw. This conjecture is based on the 1951 citation given immediately below and the April 17, 1959 citation given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading You Are My Fifth Favorite Actor. The First Four Are the Marx Brothers

References

References
↑1 1946 March 14, The Dayton Daily News, The Lyons Den: Pauley Turns Ickes Photo To the Wall by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 11, Column 3, Dayton, Ohio. (Newspapers_com)

“Does It Hurt?” “Only When I Laugh”

Philip Gosse? John Bishop? Leonard Lyons? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A family of popular comical anecdotes conforms to the following template. An individual suffers a grievous injury such as a spear through the chest. A companion asks about his or her status, and the reply is absurdly understated:

“Does it hurt?”
“Only when I laugh.”

Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Quote Investigator: The earliest strong match known to QI appeared in the 1934 book “Memoirs of a Camp-Follower” by Philip Gosse who served in the Royal Army Medical Corps during World War I. After an intense battle using bombs and bayonets, Gosse encountered a seriously injured soldier who was covered with mud and soaked with rain and blood. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1934, Memoirs of a Camp-Follower by Philip Gosse, Chapter 2: We Go South, Quote Page 72 and 73, Longman’s, Green and Company. London, England. (Internet Archive at archive.org) link

While I was gently examining his wound I asked him, more for the sake of something to say than anything else, if it hurt him very much. His answer, which I shall never forget, was “No Sir, only when I laugh.”

I am glad to say little John Bishop surprised us all by surviving a long and dangerous operation and eventually recovered.

This exchange was presented as non-fiction, and the line downplaying pain was spoken to Gosse by Bishop who was a member of the London Irish Rifles regiment of the British Army.

Thanks to top-flight researcher Peter Reitan who located the above citation.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading “Does It Hurt?” “Only When I Laugh”

References

References
↑1 1934, Memoirs of a Camp-Follower by Philip Gosse, Chapter 2: We Go South, Quote Page 72 and 73, Longman’s, Green and Company. London, England. (Internet Archive at archive.org) link

Where Two People Are Writing the Same Book, Each Believes He Gets All the Worries and Only Half the Royalties

Agatha Christie? James Beasley Simpson? Joe Bushkin? Leonard Lyons? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Successful collaboration is difficult to achieve for many creators. The outstanding mystery writer Agatha Christie once referred to the difficulty of splitting royalties while explaining why she did not have coauthors. Would you please help me to find her remark?

Quote Investigator: The earliest citation located by QI appeared in a compilation of quotations published in 1957 by James Beasley Simpson. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1957, Best Quotes of ’54 ’55 ’56, Compiled by James Beasley Simpson, Section: Authors 1955, Quote Page 112, Thomas Y. Crowell Company, New York. (Verified on paper)

“I’ve always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worries and only half the royalties.”

Agatha Christie, British mystery writer, news summaries of March 15, 1955.

QI has not yet found a newspaper article containing this statement on the date mentioned by Simpson, but electronic archives are incomplete. Also, QI does not have access to all pertinent databases.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Where Two People Are Writing the Same Book, Each Believes He Gets All the Worries and Only Half the Royalties

References

References
↑1 1957, Best Quotes of ’54 ’55 ’56, Compiled by James Beasley Simpson, Section: Authors 1955, Quote Page 112, Thomas Y. Crowell Company, New York. (Verified on paper)

Drama Is Life with the Dull Bits Cut Out

Alfred Hitchcock? Leonard Lyons? François Truffaut? Steven Rattner? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Thrill master Alfred Hitchcock made a brilliant observation about storytelling requiring the excision of “dull bits” or “boring bits” from a narrative. Would you please help me to find a citation that presents the precise phrasing for this remark?

Quote Investigator: In 1956 Hitchcock conducted a preview of his latest film “The Man Who Knew Too Much”. Popular syndicated columnist Leonard Lyons praised the taut work and relayed a quotation from the director:[1] 1956 March 2, The Pittsburgh Press, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 19, Column 2, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

It’s perfect Hitchcock, full of suspense, color and constant interest. The director said after the showing: “Movies have lost a lot by this new trend towards documentary realism at the sacrifice of fantasy. After all, drama is life with the dull bits cut out.“

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Drama Is Life with the Dull Bits Cut Out

References

References
↑1 1956 March 2, The Pittsburgh Press, The Lyons Den by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 19, Column 2, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

So What? I Paint Fakes, Too

Pablo Picasso? Leonard Lyons? Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler? Arthur Koestler? Marshall McLuhan? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The most fascinating anecdote about authenticity that I have ever heard features Pablo Picasso repudiating a painting that he apparently created. Are you familiar with this tale? Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: The earliest occurrence of this anecdote located by QI appeared in the popular syndicated column of Leonard Lyons in 1957. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1957 February 22, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Picasso Can ‘Paint Fakes, Too’ by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 27, Column 1 and 2, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

One of Picasso’s friends asked him to look at a picture he’d bought: “Is this a genuine Picasso?” The painter examined it and said, “No, it’s a fake.” The friend was crestfallen, then said: “Oh, well, I have this other one — a genuine Picasso.” The artist looked at the second picture and said: “That’s a fake, too” . . .”But that’s impossible,” said the friend, bewildered. “I saw you paint it myself”. . .“So what?” Picasso shrugged. “I paint fakes, too.”

Lyons did not identify the confused individual in this article, but ten years later in 1967 Lyons revisited the topic and pointed to Picasso’s art dealer Daniel-Henry Kahnweiler as the owner of the disavowed painting.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading So What? I Paint Fakes, Too

References

References
↑1 1957 February 22, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Picasso Can ‘Paint Fakes, Too’ by Leonard Lyons, Quote Page 27, Column 1 and 2, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

Lyricist Versus Composer: The Song “Ol’ Man River”

Oscar Hammerstein II? Dorothy Hammerstein? Leonard Lyons?

Dear Quote Investigator: The division of credit between music composers and lyricists can be controversial. Some lyricists believe that their song writing skills are not given adequate respect. One vivid anecdote revealed the unhappiness of Dorothy Hammerstein who was the wife of the prominent Broadway song creator Oscar Hammerstein II.

During an extravagant New York gala Dorothy overheard a man effusively praising the song “Ol’ Man River”. The man’s remarks concluded with acclaim for the genius of Jerome Kern. Dorothy stepped forward and responded energetically:

Jerome Kern wrote ‘dum, dum, dum-dum’. My husband wrote “Ol’ Man River”.

Would you please explore the provenance of this tale?

Quote Investigator: The song “Ol’ Man River” was included in the 1927 theatrical production “Show Boat”. The earliest evidence of this story schema located by QI was published in the gossip column of Leonard Lyons in 1949; however, the aggrieved response was from Oscar Hammerstein II instead of his wife. Boldface has been added to excerpts. The ellipsis was present in the original text:[1] 1949 October 31, The Canton Repository, Broadway Gazette by Leonard Lyons, (Syndicated, Dateline: New York), Quote Page 18, Column 5, Canton, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)

Jules Styne, the composer of “High Button Shoes” and the forthcoming “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” was discussing the popular tendency to ascribe a hit song only to the composer and neglect the lyricist. He told of the time a series of Kern-Hammerstein songs were referred to as “Jerome Kern’s hits,” at a dinner where Oscar Hammerstein was to speak … “I guess that when Jerry Kern wrote the ‘Show Boat’ songs, they came out like this,” said Hammerstein, who then hummed “Old Man River,” and ran his fingers over his lips to produce a dribbling sound.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Lyricist Versus Composer: The Song “Ol’ Man River”

References

References
↑1 1949 October 31, The Canton Repository, Broadway Gazette by Leonard Lyons, (Syndicated, Dateline: New York), Quote Page 18, Column 5, Canton, Ohio. (GenealogyBank)