Quote Investigator® – Page 129

The Love You Give Away Is the Only Love You Keep

Elbert Hubbard? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I’m intrigued by the following counter-intuitive adage:

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: Elbert Hubbard was the founder of a community of artisans called Roycrofters who were located in East Aurora, New York. He also collected and synthesized adages which appeared in his books and periodicals. The December 1902 edition of “The Philistine” included the following passage from Hubbard. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1902 December, The Philistine, Volume 16, Number 1, Heart to Heart Talks with Philistines by the Pastor of His Flock, Start Page 1, Quote Page 13 and 14, Society of the Philistines, East Aurora, New York. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

The Law of Consequences works both ways: by associating with the sinner and recognizing the good in him, you unconsciously recognize the good in yourself. The love you give away is the only love you keep—by benefiting another you benefit yourself.

The above instance used the pronoun “you” instead of “we”. Hubbard constructed and disseminated a few variant statements.

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I Do Not Believe in Ghosts, But I Am Awfully Afraid of Them

Edgar Allan Poe? Germaine de Staël? Bert Leston Taylor? Charles A. Dana? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a family of quips that express a comically contradictory attitude toward specters. Here are three instances:

I do not believe in ghosts, but I am awfully afraid of them.
I don’t believe in ghosts, but I’ve been running from them all my life.
I don’t believe in ghosts, but I don’t want to see one.

The master of the macabre Edgar Allan Poe sometimes has received credit for the second statement. Would you please explore this group of jokes for Halloween?

Quote Investigator: There is no substantive evidence that Edgar Allan Poe employed one of these quips.

Germaine de Staël was an author and influential French intellectual who died in 1817. The physician Sir Henry Holland met Madame de Staël on multiple occasions and dined with her; in 1872 he published a memoir titled “Recollections of Past Life” which included a quotation from de Staël in French about revenants, i.e., ghosts. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1872, Recollections of Past Life by Sir Henry Holland, Quote Page 113, Longmans, Green, and Co., London. (Original text has “revenans” for “revenants”) (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

Another trait she discloses, speaking of les revenants: ‘Je n’y crois pas, mais je les crains.’

Here is one possible translation of the French:

‘I do not believe, but I’m afraid.’

When Holland’s book was reviewed in “The London Quarterly Review”[ref] 1872 January, The London Quarterly Review, American Edition, Review of Sir Henry Holland’s Recollections, Start Page 82, Quote Page 88, The Leonard Scott Publishing Company, New York. (Google Books Full View) link[/ref] and “Blackwood’s Edinburgh Magazine”[ref] 1872 April, Blackwood’s Edinburgh Magazine, American Edition, Review of Sir Henry Holland’s Recollections, Start Page 82, Quote Page 88, Leonard Scott Publishing Company, New York. (HathiTrust Full View) link[/ref] the remark from Madame de Staël was reprinted which widened its distribution.

Also in 1872 the notable writer and conversationalist Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. published “The Poet at the Breakfast-Table” in which he presented a slightly different version of the quotation and ascribed the words to an unnamed “famous woman”:[ref] 1872 Copyright, The Poet at the Breakfast-Table by Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., Quote Page 346, George Routledge and Sons, London. Boston, Massachusetts. (HathiTrust Full View) link [/ref]

We are all tattoed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of the superstitious fears which were early implanted in his imagination; no matter how utterly his reason may reject them, he will still feel as the famous woman did about ghosts, Je ne les crois pas, mais je les crains, — “I don’t believe in them, but I am afraid of them, nevertheless.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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When You’re Accustomed to Privilege, Equality Feels Like Oppression

Stephanie Herrera? Chris Boeskool? Mike Jebbett? Jesse Alan Downs? Brian Sims? Clay Shirky? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Activists have formulated an adage about privilege that has achieved wide distribution:

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression

Would you please examine its provenance?

Quote Investigator: This thought can be expressed in many ways; hence, it has been difficult to trace. The earliest close match located by QI appeared in December 2010 on the website: “Are Women Human?: Debunking gender myths”. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] Website: Are Women Human?, Article: Fred Phelps and conservative Christians: Not so different, Comment Author: Faith, Comment Timestamp on Website: December 25, 2010 at 1:32 am, link, Wayback Machine Verified Mirror Date: Mar 23 201. link (Accessed at arewomenhuman.me on Oct 24, 2016) link [/ref]

I’ve seen a quote, something like “To the privileged, equality feels like oppression.”

This instance was more concise than the modern version. It was written by a commentator using the handle “Faith”, but she disclaimed authorship by using the phrase “I’ve seen the quote”. Hence, the expression was already in circulation. Indeed, the existence of precursors occurring by 1997 suggests that the statement evolved over time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Leave Him With a Favorable Opinion of Himself

Samuel Taylor Coleridge? Tryon Edwards? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: My favorite poem is “Kubla Khan; or, A Vision in a Dream: A Fragment” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. I love the poem’s opium inspired image of a “stately pleasure dome”. Serendipitously, I came across an insightful remark ascribed to Coleridge that contrasted different types of intellects:

If you would stand well with a great mind, leave him with a favorable impression of yourself; if with a little mind, leave him with a favorable impression of himself.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find this in Coleridge’s oeuvre. Is this attribution accurate?

Quote Investigator: The acclaimed poet and critic Samuel Taylor Coleridge did pen a very similar remark within his critical analysis of a book by Sir Thomas Browne. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1836, The Literary Remains of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Collected and Edited by Henry Nelson Coleridge, Volume 2, Notes on Sir Thomas Browne’s Vulgar Errors, Address to the Reader, Start Page 406, Quote Page 411, William Pickering, London. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

The difference between a great mind’s and a little mind’s use of history is this. The latter would consider, for instance, what Luther did, taught, or sanctioned: the former, what Luther,—a Luther,—would now do, teach, and sanction. This thought occurred to me at midnight, Tuesday, the 16th of March, 1824, as I was stepping into bed,—my eye having glanced on Luther’s Table Talk.

If you would be well with a great mind, leave him with a favorable impression of you;—if with a little mind, leave him with a favorable opinion of himself.

Coleridge died in 1834, and the excerpt above appeared in a posthumous 1836 collection titled “The Literary Remains of Samuel Taylor Coleridge” edited by his uncle, Henry Nelson Coleridge.

The modern saying provided by the questioner evolved from the original statement. The phrase “be well” was changed to “stand well”; “you” was changed to “yourself”; and “opinion” was changed to “impression”.

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When Painters Get Together They Talk About Where You Can Buy the Best Turpentine

Pablo Picasso? Jean Renoir? Garson Kanin? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Critics discuss abstruse theories of creativity and engage in esoteric scrutiny of aesthetics while artists are primarily concerned with the practical. Admittedly, this is an oversimplification. Here is a statement that makes a similar point:

When art critics get together they talk about form and structure and meaning. When artists get together they talk about where you can buy cheap turpentine.

Did Picasso really say this?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of a comparable expression located by QI appeared in a 1966 book by the screenwriter and director Garson Kanin who ascribed the words to Picasso:[ref] 1966, Remembering Mr. Maugham by Garson Kanin, Quote Page 45, Atheneum, New York. (Verified on paper)[/ref]

Picasso says that when art critics get together they talk about content, style, trend and meaning, but that when painters get together they talk about where can you get the best turpentine.

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A Woman Without a Man Is Like a Fish Without a Bicycle

Gloria Steinem? Irina Dunn? Erica Jong? Florynce Kennedy? Charles S. Harris? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: A famous feminist slogan asserts that a woman is capable of living a complete and independent life without a man. Here are two versions:

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Would you please explore the origin of this saying?

Quote Investigator: The earliest published instance known to QI appeared in “The Sydney Morning Herald” of Sydney, Australia in January 1975. The expression occurred as an unattributed graffito. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1975 January 25, The Sydney Morning Herald, Article Title: “Column 8”, Quote Page 1, Column 8, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. (Newspapers_com)[/ref]

We found this anonymous contribution to International Women’s Year on a wall at Forest Lodge: “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

Thanks to Fred R. Shapiro, editor of “The Yale Book of Quotations”, who located this citation and shared it with fellow researchers. Prominent feminist Gloria Steinem often receives credit for this saying, but she has ascribed the words to the Australian social activist Irina Dunn who claimed that she created the adage and wrote it on a bathroom wall in 1970. More details about these assertions are presented further below.

QI believes that the saying evolved from a family of related expressions. Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Life Is Hard and Then You Die

Tony Daniels? Edmund Vance Cooke? James J. Montague? Carolyn McKane? Tom Robbins? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There are many upbeat sayings on your website, but I would like you to explore a popular motto of the disaffected. Here are four versions:

Life is hard and then you die.
Life is rough and then you die.
Life sucks and then you die.
Life is a bitch, then you die.

Do you have any idea who coined this astringent adage of unhappiness and resignation?

Quote Investigator: An exact match for the fourth member of this family of sayings was printed in “The Washington Post” in 1982. The newspaper profiled a precocious 15-year-old and described a meeting of her high-school friends who held a wide-ranging discussion. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1982 October 10, Washington Post, Brainchild by Sara Rimer, Start Page SM12, Quote Page SM17, Column 2, Washington, D. C. (ProQuest)[/ref]

…friends discussed everything from the definition of a lerp (“worse than a wimp, a totally worthless person”) to the meaning of life, a question that was addressed cynically by the composer, 15-year-old Tony Daniels, who said, “Life’s a bitch, then you die.”

The above statement is the earliest close match known to QI for this family of sayings. This citation is given in the “Yale Book of Quotations”[ref] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section Modern Proverbs, Quote Page 528, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) [/ref] and the “Dictionary of Modern Proverbs”.[ref] 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro, Quote Page 141, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) [/ref]

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Quote Origin: If Anyone Says Anything Back, That Is an Outrage

Winston Churchill? Apocryphal?

Question for Quote Investigator: Genuine free speech entails disagreement and debate; it is never a one-sided notion. According to a Facebook meme Winston Churchill supposedly said:

Some people’s idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.

I cannot tell whether this was really said by the famous British Prime Minister. Would you please trace it?

Reply from Quote Investigator: A closely matching statement was spoken by Winston Churchill in the U.K. Parliament on October 13, 1943. Boldface in excerpts added by QI:¹

Indeed Parliamentary democracy has flourished under party government. That is to say, it has flourished so long as there is full freedom of speech, free elections and free institutions.

So we must beware of a tyranny of opinion which tries to make only one side of a question the one which may be heard. Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people’s idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.

The original remark recorded in the Hansard used the pronoun “it”. The slightly inaccurate modern version replaces “it” with the referent “free speech” to create a more compact and self-contained expression.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

The Foolish and the Dead Alone Never Change Their Opinion

Abraham Lincoln? James Russell Lowell? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Intelligent and thoughtful people maintain mental flexibility throughout life. It is irrational to rigidly adhere to a fixed opinion in the face of reliable contrary information. Abraham Lincoln supposedly said:

The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinions.

These words have also been credited to the prominent poet and editor James Russell Lowell. What do you think?

Quote Investigator: This quotation appeared in the 1871 collection “My Study Windows” by James Russell Lowell within a section about President Abraham Lincoln. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1871, My Study Windows by James Russell Lowell (Professor of Belles-Lettres in Harvard College), Section: Abraham Lincoln: 1864, Start Page 150, Quote Page 166, James R. Osgood and Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Google Books Full View) link [/ref]

The imputation of inconsistency is one to which every sound politician and every honest thinker must sooner or later subject himself. The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.

The passage above was written by Lowell and reflected his opinion. He did not ascribe the words to Lincoln; however, some readers probably became confused because the piece was about Lincoln. Lowell’s quotation differed slightly from the popular modern version. The word “opinion” was singular in the original statement.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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Artist Dies of Exposure

Head of Spiral Graphics? Steve Miller? Steven M. Scotten? Tim Kreider? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: If you are a skilled musician, photographer, graphic artist, or writer you have probably received requests to perform work for free. For example, many people have written pieces for “The Huffington Post” without monetary compensation. The requesters often state that they offer a uniquely attractive venue or platform which will provide a valuable audience. You will achieve wide exposure and increase your fame; later a mysterious alchemical process will convert your fame into wealth.

The word “exposure” has another denotation; it refers to experiencing the harsh effects of weather without protection, especially facing cold. Some regions record mortality statistics for exposure. A comically bitter pun has been crafted based on this ambiguity:

You want me to work for exposure? But don’t you know that many people die from exposure every year?

A compressed version of the joke simply states:

Artist dies of exposure.

Would you please explore the provenance of this quip?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence located by QI appeared in a Usenet newsgroup called alt.art.marketplace in April 1996 within a message thread using the subject line “I am an ANGRY ARTIST!!!!!” Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[ref] 1996 April 22, Usenet discussion message, Newsgroups: alt.anger, alt.art.colleges, alt.art.marketplace, From: Steve at domain splicer.com, Subject: Re: I am an ANGRY ARTIST!!!!!, (Google Groups Search; Accessed May 12, 2016) link [/ref]

I was given a sage piece of advice from the owner/primary of Spiral Graphics in Albany NY (I give him a plug because his quote is so good, plus I can’t recall his name and want to give due credit) about working for exposure. He said “Go to the census bureau, and you’ll find that every year, thousands of people die of exposure.”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

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