Quote Investigator® – Page 5 – Tracing Quotations

Quote Origin: If There Is No Smoking in Heaven, I Shall Not Go There

Mark Twain? James Ross Clemens? Lowell Gleason? Roger Durrett? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

**Picture of a box of cigars from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Mark Twain enjoyed smoking cigars. The following three closely related quips have been attributed to the famed humorist:

(1) If I cannot smoke in heaven, I shall not go there.
(2) If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.
(3) If there is smoking in heaven, I want to go there.

I have not been able to find a solid citation. Would you please explore whether Twain employed any of these remarks?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Mark Twain died in 1910. In 1929 James Ross Clemens who was Twain’s cousin published “Some Reminiscences of Mark Twain” in the “Overland Monthly” of San Francisco, California. The following passage discussed Twain’s writing habits and credited him with an instance of the quip. Boldface added to excepts by QI:¹

When bedtime overtook him at his desk working on a story he would leave the last sentence unfinished so as to preserve the continuity of thought when work was begun again the following morning. Three thousand words he considered a full day’s work.

His favorite nightmare he declared was being forbidden by his doctor to smoke. Dr. Sam Johnson used to say that he could not visualize the state of being dead because he could not imagine himself in a state where he would not receive letters and Mark was in much the same frame of mind as regards cigars. “If there is smoking in Heaven I want to go there,” he would fervidly exclaim.

Thus, there is substantive evidence that Mark Twain used the third expression listed above, but QI has not yet found substantive evidence that Twain used the first or second expressions. On the other hand, all three statements are semantically similar; hence, it is possible that he used more than one.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Friends of My Adversity I Shall Always Cherish Most

Ulysses S. Grant? Apocryphal?

**Silhouettes of two people climbing from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Distinguishing between true friends and fair-weather friends can be difficult. A former U.S. president stated that he cherished most those who remained friends when he was facing adversity. They relieved the gloom of his darkest hours.

Apparently, Ulysses S. Grant said something like this. Would you please help me to find the correct phrasing together with a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In January 1869 several newspapers reported comments made by Ulysses S. Grant to a journalist of “The World” in New York. Grant was asked his opinion of Elihu B. Washburne. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Washburne was my friend when I needed friends—when it was no advantage to be my friend, and when I had very few friends anywhere—scarcely any outside of the army. My friends are very numerous now. I often wonder how many of them would remain my friends if my position and patronage were taken away from me.

The friends of my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity. The newspapers cannot alienate me from Washburne by any abuse of him or ridicule of his supposed influence with and over me.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life With a Capital F

Jacqueline Carol? Lilian Baylis? John Lennon? Athol Fugard? Charles Olson? Maud Carpenter? Ronnie Barker? Anonymous?

**Depiction of the letter F from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Exasperation or excitement produces the following exclamation which provides a capsule description of the human adventure:

Life with a capital F.

The “F” corresponds to the initial letter of the four-letter word for fornication. Yet, the phrase is ambiguous. Radically different interpretations occur when the letter corresponds to “freedom” or “fun”. Would you please explore the provenance of this expression?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in a 1960 memoir by Jacqueline Carol titled “Cocktails and Camels”. The following passage presented two interpretations. The first connected “F” to “freedom”, and the second alluded to the taboo word. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

… the outspoken Beatrice shattered us all by saying, “I just love life with a capital F.” It seems she meant Freedom and not what the two one-track minds on either side of her thought she meant.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Dialogue Origin: “Deep Learning Is Hitting a Wall” “There Is No Wall”

Gary Marcus? Sam Altman? Apocryphal?

**Abstract image representing AI from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: The progress achieved in artificial intelligence (AI) during the 21^st century has been remarkable. Billions of dollars have been spent to build supercomputers and to train AI systems. Yet, the rate of future progress is uncertain. A skeptic stated:

Deep learning is hitting a wall.

An enthusiast replied:

There is no wall.

Would you please help me to identify the people in this exchange and find precise citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 2022 cognitive scientist and AI researcher Gary Marcus published an article in the popular science magazine “Nautilus” with the following provocative title:¹

Deep Learning Is Hitting a Wall

The piece argued that the field of artificial intelligence was filled with hype and bravado. Also, current AI systems did not “genuinely understand human language” and displayed “nowhere near the ordinary day-to-day intelligence of Rosey the Robot” (from “The Jetsons” animated TV series of the 1960s).

The article said that the strategy of building larger systems with more chips and more data was “perhaps already approaching a point of diminishing returns”, and the AI field should pursue a neurosymbolic approach.

In November 2024 Sam Altman, the CEO of the leading AI company OpenAI tweeted the following riposte:²

there is no wall

Later, Gary Marcus tweeted the following reply:³

1. Multiple media reports from multiple companies are reporting diminishing returns, exactly as I warned in 2022 in “deep learning is hitting a wall”.

2. If I am wrong, where is GPT-5?

From 2018 to 2024 OpenAI announced a series of models called GPT-1, GPT-2, GPT-3, GPT-3.5, GPT-4 and GPT-4o. But a model named GPT-5 was not released in 2024.

Beginning in September 2024 OpenAI announced a different series of models called o1 and o3. These models used more computation to ruminate about complex tasks. The o3 model achieved new high scores on difficult benchmark tests for mathematics, programming, and fluid intelligence.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It’s the Things You Can’t See or Touch: Truth, Fairness, Justice, Courage, Sharing, Compassion, Love. Those Are the Elements of a Great Life

Jimmy Carter? Apocryphal?

**Silhouette of a couple on bicycles from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: The things in life that you cannot directly see or touch are the most important, e.g., truth, justice, courage, compassion, and love. Apparently, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter said something like this. I do not know the precise phrasing. Would you please help me to find a citation with the proper wording?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In November 1991 the “Columbia Daily Tribune” of Missouri reported on a speech delivered by Jimmy Carter at Stephens College during which he extolled the value of volunteerism. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

“What is a great person? What is a great life?” he asked. “It’s the things you can’t see or touch. Truth, fairness, justice, courage, sharing, compassion, love. Those are the elements of a great life. We have in this country the opportunity to share a great life.”

Carter made similar pronouncements on multiple occasions although the phrasing he employed was variable.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If You See a Swiss Banker Jump Out of a Window, Jump Right After. There Is Bound To Be a Profit In It

Voltaire? Cardinal Richelieu? Étienne François de Choiseul? Catharine Sedgwick? Marie-Henri Beyle? Lionel de Rothschild? Anonymous?

**Picture of office windows from Mike Kononov at Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Bankers in Switzerland are world-renowned for their financial acuity. Here are three remarks which illustrate this perception:

(1) If you ever see a Swiss banker jump out of a window, jump after him; there is a large profit to be made.

(2) If you see a Geneva banker jump out a window, follow him. There is money to be made on the way down.

(3) If you see a Zurich banker jumping out of a third story window, you may safely jump after him; you will be sure of making ten percent.

French philosopher Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) has received credit for this quip. However, I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The important 2021 reference work “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille included an entry for this quip. The scholars concluded: “Likely misattributed to Voltaire”.¹

The joke is difficult to trace because it has many forms. The earliest match found by QI appeared in “The Gentleman’s Magazine” of London in 1783. The quotation appeared in French with an ascription to Cardinal Richelieu (Armand Jean du Plessis, 1st Duke of Richelieu). Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

. . . he was amazed at their knowledge, yet he could not help thinking the saying of Cardinal Richelieu extremely applicable, “Si vous voyez un Genevois se jetter par la fenêtre, jettez vous y après; car soyez assuré qu’il y aura douze pour cent à gagner.”

Here is one possible translation into English :

“If you see a Genevan throw himself out of the window, throw yourself out afterwards; be assured that there will be twelve percent to be gained.”

Cardinal Richelieu died in 1642; hence, the evidence provided by the attribution above is very weak.

Voltaire died in 1778, and he received credit by 1807. This evidence is also weak. QI concurs with Apgar and Langille. QI would not credit Voltaire with the quip.

The Duke of Choiseul (Étienne François de Choiseul) died in 1785. He received credit by 1790. QI believes he is a plausible candidate for creator, but he was not named in the earliest citation, and the posthumous evidence is weak. Thus, based on current data QI would assign an anonymous ascription to this joke.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: The Arts Are Not a Way to Make a Living. They Are a Very Human Way of Making Life More Bearable

Kurt Vonnegut? Apocryphal?

**Picture of paint brushes from Alireza Valizadeh at Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Engaging in art is not lucrative. The proportion of artists who become wealthy is minuscule. Yet, the psychological and spiritual rewards are immense. A prominent writer apparently said the following:

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable.

These words have been attributed to the best-selling satirical novelist Kurt Vonnegut who wrote “Cat’s Cradle”, “Slaughterhouse-Five”, and the short story collection “Welcome to the Monkey House”. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This quotation appeared in an essay titled “Here is a lesson in creative writing” by Kurt Vonnegut within the 2005 collection “A Man Without a Country”. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Worry Is Like Paying Interest On a Debt You Don’t Owe

Mark Twain? William Ralph Inge? Harry A. Thompson? Havelock Ellis? Anonymous?

**Symbolic representation of debt from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: Excessive worrying is debilitating to one’s mental health. Upsetting scenarios are often sidestepped, and the anguish was unnecessary. Here are three examples from a family of pertinent sayings:

(1) Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due
(2) Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe
(3) Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe

This notion has been attributed to U.S. humorist Mark Twain and U.K. minister William Ralph Inge. However, I have not seen a solid citation. Would you please explore the provenance of this family?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1905 in “The Saturday Evening Post” of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania which printed a collection of humorous definitions including the following three items. Boldface added by QI:¹

Ability — The explanation of your success.
Luck — The explanation of the other fellow’s.
Worry — Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Harry A. Thompson received credit for this collection of definitions. Thompson was the associate editor of “The Saturday Evening Post”,² and he is the leading candidate for creator of this quip although it remains possible that Thompson was simply compiling existing jokes.

The attribution to Mark Twain is unsupported. The quip does not appear on the Twain Quotes website edited by Barbara Schmidt.³ Also, the quip does not appear in the large compilation “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips” edited by Caroline Thomas Harnsberger.⁴ Twain died in 1910, and an attribution to him occurred in 1936.

William Ralph Inge did use an instance of the joke during a speech in 1932, but it was already in circulation. Thus, Inge helped to popularize the quip, but he did not create it.

Here is an overview of current research presenting a sequence of examples with dates, attributions, and phrasings. These sayings are not equivalent, but QI believes they evolved from a single seed expression:

1905 Nov 25: Harry A. Thompson
Worry—Interest paid on trouble before it falls due

1906 Sep 20: Attributed to Harry A. Thompson
Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due

1920 Sep 02: Anonymous
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due

1932 Feb 09: Speech delivered by William Ralph Inge
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due

1936 Jun 23: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it is due

1955 Oct 06: Letter to the Editor from E. A. Bontrager
When you worry you just pay interest on nothing

1961 Oct 19: Attributed to Havelock Ellis
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due

1980 Apr 30: Anonymous
Worry is like paying interest on a debt you don’t owe

1982 Sep 22: Newspaper column of Rusty Hofacket
Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe

1988 Jun 11: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe

1990 Jan 15: Slogan on refrigerator
Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may never owe

2014 Oct 05: Attributed to Mark Twain
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

Below are details for selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: God Gave Us Memory So That We Might Have Roses in December

James Matthew Barrie? Lord Byron? Harriet Mary Carey? Charlotte Elliot? Geoffrey Studdert Kennedy? Anonymous?

**Picture of four pink roses from Pixabay**

Question for Quote Investigator: Human memory allows us to reflect on past experiences. During the frigid months of winter we can recall the sight and fragrance of beautiful flowers blooming in spring. Here are four instances from a pertinent family of sayings:

(1) Memory was given to mortals so that they might have roses in December.

(2) God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.

(3) God gave us memory that we might have roses in winter.

(4) Memory is the power to gather roses in winter.

This saying is usually attributed to Scottish author James Matthew Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan. However, I have not been able to find a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: James Matthew Barrie did use the second expression during a Rectorial Address he delivered at the University of St Andrews in Scotland on May 3, 1922; however, he disclaimed credit. Barrie specified an anonymous attribution. Boldface added to excerpt by QI:¹

You have had many rectors here in St. Andrews who will continue in bloom long after the lowly ones such as I am are dead and rotten and forgotten. They are the roses in December; you remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.

QI believes that this saying evolved over time, and the creator remains anonymous. Below are selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If I Don’t Practice for One Day, I Know It; Two Days, the Critics Know It; Three Days, Everyone Knows It

Hans von Bülow? Niccolò Paganini? Jennie Fowler Willing? Maria Malibran? Charles Haddon Spurgeon? Anton Rubinstein? August Wilhelmj? Ole Bull? Ignacy Paderewski? Franz Liszt? Jascha Heifetz? Fritz Kreisler?

**Painting titled “The Violinist” by Theo van Rysselberghe circa 1903**

Question for Quote Investigator: There is a popular saying about the enormous importance of regularly engaging in practice to maintain prowess as a performer in music and other domains.

If a person skips practice for one day then the person becomes aware of a skill deficit. If the person continues to skip practice then the circle of awareness grows to include friends and colleagues. When practice is neglected for an extended period then everyone becomes aware of the decay in skill.

Would you please explore the provenance of this notion?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying can be expressed in many ways; hence, it is difficult to trace. Here is an overview of current research presenting a sequence of examples with dates, attributions, and phrasings. Some quotations use the U.S. spelling of “practice” and some use the British spelling of “practise”. Boldface added by QI:

1877 Sep: Attributed to pianist Hans von Bülow:
If I stop practice for one day, I notice it in my playing; if I stop two days, my friends notice it; if I stop three days, the public notices it.

1880 May: Attributed to violinist Niccolò Paganini:
If I discontinue my practice for a single day I discover it myself; if for two days my friends discover it; and if I do not practice for three days, the public find it out.

1885: Attributed to opera singer Maria Malibran:
If I neglect my practice a day, I see the difference in my execution. If for two days, my friends see it; and if for a week, all the world knows my failure.

1885 Sep: Attributed to an unnamed celebrated pianist by preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon:
If I quit the piano one day I notice it; if I quit it two days my friends notice it; if I quit it three days the public notice it.

1888 Jan: Attributed to pianist Anton Rubinstein:
If he neglected to practise for one day, he noticed the difference; if for two days, his friends noticed it; if for week, the public would know it.

1889: Attributed to violinist August Wilhelmj:
If I neglect to practise for one day, I notice it; if for two days, my friends notice it; and if for three, the public notice it.

1894 Jul: Attributed to pianist Franz Liszt:
If I miss practicing one day, I know it; if I miss two days, my friends know it; and if I miss three days, the public knows it.

1925 Jan: Attributed to violinist Ole Bull:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it; if I don’t for two days, my audience knows it.

1935 Sep: Attributed to pianist Ignacy Paderewski:
If I don’t practice for one day, I know it. If I miss two days, my friends know it; and if I miss three days, the whole world knows it.

1946 Dec: Attributed to pianist Franz Liszt by violinist Jascha Heifetz:
If I don’t practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.

1955 Feb: Attributed to violinist Fritz Kreisler:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it; if I don’t practice for two days, my family knows it; if I don’t practice for a week, the world knows it.

1985 Mar: Described as an old adage by guitarist John McLaughlin:
If you don’t practice for a day, you know it; if you don’t play a few days, your colleagues know it; if you don’t play for a week, everybody knows it.

2015: Attributed to trumpeter Louis Armstrong:
If I don’t practice for a day, I know it. If I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it, and if I don’t practice for three days, the public knows it

Below are detailed citations in chronological order.