All I Want Is a Story. If You Have a Message, Send It by Western Union

Samuel Goldwyn? Humphrey Bogart? Ed Sullivan? Moss Hart? John Ford? Brendan Behan? Harry Warner? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Storytellers often wish to do more than simply entertain. They wish to instruct their audiences via a didactic narrative. Yet, the primary concern of the producers of films and plays is financial success. This tension is illustrated …

“I Enjoyed Your Book. Who Wrote It for You?” “I’m So Glad You Liked It. Who Read It To You?”

Ilka Chase vs. Anonymous Actress? Ilka Chase vs. Humphrey Bogart? Sylvia Strum Bremer vs. Cynic? Liz Carpenter vs. Arthur Schlesinger Jr.? Eric Morecambe vs. Ernie Wise? Dear Quote Investigator: For many years ghostwriters have been composing books for well-known celebrities. The following prickly repartee shows that authorship is a sensitive topic: “I enjoyed your book. …

The Most Fun You Can Have Without Laughing

H. L. Mencken? Woody Allen? Walter Winchell? Alfred Lunt? Sarah Bernhardt? E. V. Durling? Jim Bishop? Colonel Stoopnagle? Frederick Chase Taylor? Leo Rosten? Humphrey Bogart? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: The following declaration of high praise has been applied to love making: The most fun you can have without laughing. Influential commentator H. L. Mencken and …

I Don’t Owe My Public Anything Except a Good Performance

Humphrey Bogart? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Maintaining a private personal life is nearly impossible for individuals who become famous. Gossip shows revel in presenting an endless stream of sensitive and embarrassing incidents. Apparently, the Hollywood superstar Humphrey Bogart once said in exasperation something like the following: The only thing I owe the public is a …

Truth Is Stranger than Fiction, But It Is Because Fiction Is Obliged to Stick to Possibilities; Truth Isn’t

Mark Twain? Lord Byron? G. K. Chesterton? Edward Bellamy? Humphrey Bogart? Leo Rosten? Tom Clancy? Dear Quote Investigator: There is a wonderful quotation by Mark Twain about the implausibility of truth versus fiction. Here are four versions: 1) Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. 2) It’s no …

Tennis, Anyone?

Humphrey Bogart? George Bernard Shaw? W. Somerset Maugham? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: Before Humphrey Bogart played iconic tough and sophisticated characters he appeared in drawing room comedies on Broadway. Supposedly in his first scene as a young actor he came striding onto the stage swinging a racquet and saying: Tennis anyone? Later this line became …

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