Tag: Woody Allen

The Meaning of Life Is That Nobody Knows the Meaning of Life

Woody Allen? Ken Kelley? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: Philosophers, religious figures, and spiritual gurus have been making claims about the meaning of life for millennia. The comedian Woody Allen apparently offered his own quixotic analysis. Would you please help me to find a citation?

Quote Investigator: On July 1, 1976 “Rolling Stone” magazine printed an interview with Woody Allen conducted by Ken Kelley. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:[1]1976 July 1, Rolling Stone, Issue 216, A conversation with The Real Woody Allen (or someone just like him), Interview of Woody Allen conducted by Ken Kelley, Start Page 34, Quote Page 87 and 88, … Continue reading

Do you believe in reincarnation?

I certainly don’t believe in anything. It’s conceivable, but I don’t believe in it. Perhaps we come back as a deck reshuffling itself. Maybe we turn into birds. Who knows?

What, then, is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life. We are not put here to have a good time and that’s what throws most of us, that sense that we all have an inalienable right to a good time.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading The Meaning of Life Is That Nobody Knows the Meaning of Life

References

References
↑1 1976 July 1, Rolling Stone, Issue 216, A conversation with The Real Woody Allen (or someone just like him), Interview of Woody Allen conducted by Ken Kelley, Start Page 34, Quote Page 87 and 88, Rolling Stone, New York. (ProQuest)

In the Beginning, There Was Nothing. The Lord Said, ‘Let There Be Light.’ Then There Was Still Nothing, But You Could See It Much Better

Ellen DeGeneres? Woody Allen? Joe Doyle? The Flying Karamazov Brothers? George Burns? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: There is a joke based on the biblical creation story that contains the famous line “Let there be light”. The punch line of the gag is:

There was still nothing. But you could see it a whole lot better.

Two prominent comedians have received credit for this humor: Ellen DeGeneres and Woody Allen. Would you please examine this topic?

Quote Investigator: Ellen DeGeneres began performing as a comedian in 1980 according to the biography “Ellen: The Real Story of Ellen DeGeneres” by Kathleen Tracy. This joke was included in her stand-up act circa 1983. Yet, interestingly, the jest was circulating during the previous decade.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in a 1978 newspaper article about a touring company of the “The Second City” improvisational comedy organization. The company was visiting Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan to perform and give a workshop. Joe Doyle was a member of the comedy troupe, and he delivered a version of the joke:[1] 1978 October 19, Lansing State Journal, Second City troupe: patient wait for stardom by Mike Hughes (Staff Writer), Quote Page C3, Column 2, Lansing, Michigan. (Newspapers_com)

Now Joe Doyle was an Irish priest, using rich brogue to read from First Chrysanthemums:

“In the beginning, there was nothing. The Lord said, ‘Let there be light.’ Then there was still nothing. But you could see it.”

This jest can be phrased in many different ways which makes it difficult to trace; hence, future researchers may uncover earlier instances. Nevertheless, based on current evidence QI tentatively gives credit to Joe Doyle.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading In the Beginning, There Was Nothing. The Lord Said, ‘Let There Be Light.’ Then There Was Still Nothing, But You Could See It Much Better

References

References
↑1 1978 October 19, Lansing State Journal, Second City troupe: patient wait for stardom by Mike Hughes (Staff Writer), Quote Page C3, Column 2, Lansing, Michigan. (Newspapers_com)

The Most Fun You Can Have Without Laughing

H. L. Mencken? Woody Allen? Walter Winchell? Alfred Lunt? Sarah Bernhardt? E. V. Durling? Jim Bishop? Colonel Stoopnagle? Frederick Chase Taylor? Leo Rosten? Humphrey Bogart? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The following declaration of high praise has been applied to love making:

The most fun you can have without laughing.

Influential commentator H. L. Mencken and popular comedian Woody Allen have both received credit for this remark. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: H. L. Mencken did place a version of this saying into his massive 1942 compendium of quotations, but he did not take credit; instead, he asserted that the author was unidentified. More than three decades later Woody Allen employed an instance in his 1977 Oscar-winning movie “Annie Hall”.

The earliest match located by QI occurred in the widely-syndicated column of Walter Winchell in January 1938. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1938 January 25, Wilkes-Barre Times Leader, On Broadway Walter Winchell, Quote Page 24, Column 6, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

The latest definition of necking: How you can have the most fun without laughing.

QI hypothesizes that a comparable statement referring to sex was circulating at the time. Winchell or his informant bowdlerized the remark to yield the version about “necking”. Taboos of the period restricted depictions of carnality in newspapers.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading The Most Fun You Can Have Without Laughing

References

References
↑1 1938 January 25, Wilkes-Barre Times Leader, On Broadway Walter Winchell, Quote Page 24, Column 6, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. (Newspapers_com)

The Most Beautiful Word in the English Language Is Benign

Erma Bombeck? Woody Allen? L. M. Boyd? Mark Hatfield? David B. Whitlock? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: If you or a loved one has faced cancer then the following assertion would be understandable:

The most beautiful word in the English language is ‘benign’.

This notion has been attributed to two well-known humorists Erma Bombeck and Woody Allen. Would you please explore its provenance?

Quote Investigator: Erma Bombeck included this remark in a newspaper column she wrote in 1991. Woody Allen used this idea in a movie he wrote and directed in 1997. Details are presented further below.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in the widely-syndicated column of L. M. Boyd in 1968, but he credited a correspondent named Erna. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1968 November 12, The Robesonian, Checking Up by L. M. Boyd, Quote Page 6, Column 6, Lumberton, North Carolina. (Newspapers_com)

“I have always maintained (and always will) that the most beautiful word in English is ‘benign’ and the ugliest word is ‘malignant,'” writes a San Francisco girl named Erna.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading The Most Beautiful Word in the English Language Is Benign

References

References
↑1 1968 November 12, The Robesonian, Checking Up by L. M. Boyd, Quote Page 6, Column 6, Lumberton, North Carolina. (Newspapers_com)

Speed Reading: I Was Able To Go Through ‘War and Peace’ in 20 Minutes. It’s About Russia

Woody Allen? Rod Riggs? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: The ability to read and comprehend text quickly is a valuable skill. Several decades ago courses were developed that attempted to teach “speed reading” or “quick reading” techniques. The well-known comedian Woody Allen created a joke about applying speed-reading strategies to Tolstoy’s massive tome “War and Peace”. Are you familiar with this joke? Did Allen really originate it?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence found by QI was printed in May 1967 in the “Ames Daily Tribune” of Ames, Iowa. A columnist named Rod Riggs presented the comical tale without attribution: Boldface has been added to excerpts:[1] 1967 May 23, Ames Daily Tribune, From My Point of View by Rod Riggs, Quote Page 7, Column 2, Ames, Iowa. (NewspaperArchive)

Foolishness: The fellow took a speed reading course. “I learned to read straight down the middle of the page,” he reported. “I was able to go through ‘War and Peace’ in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia.”

The next earliest citation known to QI appeared in “Reader’s Digest” in October 1967. This mass-circulation periodical has historically been an important nexus for the distribution of quotations and anecdotes. The joke was credited to Woody Allen, and an acknowledgement was given to a popular columnist based in California:[2] 1967 October, Reader’s Digest, Volume 91, Condensed Version (filler item), Quote Page 120, The Reader’s Digest Association. (Verified on microfilm)

Condensed Version. Woody Allen says, “I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and I was able to go through War and Peace in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia.”
— Herb Caen in San Francisco Chronicle

QI believes that this humorous remark was crafted by Woody Allen who probably used it in one of his comedy routines in the 1960s. Caen was careful to credit Allen. Riggs may have heard someone repeat the joke, and he placed it in his column without ascription. A citation from 1972 stated that Allen told the joke on television. Details are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Speed Reading: I Was Able To Go Through ‘War and Peace’ in 20 Minutes. It’s About Russia

References

References
↑1 1967 May 23, Ames Daily Tribune, From My Point of View by Rod Riggs, Quote Page 7, Column 2, Ames, Iowa. (NewspaperArchive)
↑2 1967 October, Reader’s Digest, Volume 91, Condensed Version (filler item), Quote Page 120, The Reader’s Digest Association. (Verified on microfilm)

Cloquet Hated Reality But Realized It Was Still the Only Place to Get a Good Steak

Woody Allen? Groucho Marx? Cloquet? Apocryphal?

Dear Quote Investigator: The comedian and movie director Woody Allen sometimes constructs ontological jokes. For example, the following is attributed to Allen:

I hate reality, but it is still the only place where I can get a decent steak.

Oddly, the following very similar quip has been credited to Groucho Marx:

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

Did Allen engage in plagiarism? Would you please explore this question?

Quote Investigator: The first line above was similar to a line spoken by Woody Allen during an interview published in 1993. QI has found no substantive evidence that the second line was employed by Groucho. The initial citation located by QI for the second jest appeared in 2003, and yet Groucho died a quarter century before that date.

The earliest variant in this family known to QI was contained in a short story written by Allen called “The Condemned” that was published in “The New Yorker” magazine in 1977. The tale hinged on the parodic existential dilemmas of a would-be assassin named Cloquet. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[1]1977 November 21, The New Yorker, The Condemned by Woody Allen, Start Page 57, Quote Page 57, Published by The New Yorker Magazine, Inc., New York. (Accessed Online Archive of Page Scans at … Continue reading

He’s dreaming, Cloquet thought, as he stood over him, revolver in hand. He’s dreaming, and I exist in reality. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. He had never taken a human life before. True, he had once shot a mad dog, but only after it had been certified as mad by a team of psychiatrists.

Thus, Allen was willing to recycle the joke in 1993, but QI does not believe that he lifted it from Groucho.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Cloquet Hated Reality But Realized It Was Still the Only Place to Get a Good Steak

References

References
↑1 1977 November 21, The New Yorker, The Condemned by Woody Allen, Start Page 57, Quote Page 57, Published by The New Yorker Magazine, Inc., New York. (Accessed Online Archive of Page Scans at archives.newyorker.com on October 15, 2015) link

Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Time

Carol Burnett? Woody Allen? Tig Notaro? Steve Allen? Lenny Bruce? Bob Newhart? Thomas Hardy? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: Some humorists are able to transform disastrous or mortifying episodes in their own lives into hilarious comedy routines. Usually some time must pass before a painful memory is distant enough that it can be transmuted into something funny. The popular performer Carol Burnett once said:

I got my sense of humor from my mother. I’d tell her my tragedies. She’d make me laugh. She said comedy is tragedy plus time.

I have heard this formula attributed to other comics such as Woody Allen and Tig Notaro. It seems to apply to general events and not just personal incidents. Do you know who first crafted this formula?

Quote Investigator: The earliest evidence of this saying located by QI was published in Cosmopolitan magazine in February 1957. The television personality, actor, and polymath Steve Allen presented his viewpoint on the genesis of comedy. Boldface has been added to excerpts:[1]1957 February, Cosmopolitan, Volume 142, Steve Allen’s Almanac by Steve Allen, (This column was part of a series published between 1956 and 1957), Start Page 12, Hearst Corp., New York. … Continue reading

When I explained to a friend recently that the subject matter of most comedy is tragic (drunkenness, overweight, financial problems, accidents, etc.) he said, “Do you mean to tell me that the dreadful events of the day are a fit subject for humorous comment? The answer is “No, but they will be pretty soon.”

Man jokes about the things that depress him, but he usually waits till a certain amount of time has passed. It must have been a tragedy when Judge Crater disappeared, but everybody jokes about it now. I guess you can make a mathematical formula out of it. Tragedy plus time equals comedy.

Joseph Crater was a judge in New York City who puzzlingly disappeared in 1930. Newspaper reports on the never-solved case mentioned: a secret blond mistress, missing money, corrupt politicians, and purloined papers. Eventually the event became grist for comedy and even graffiti scrawls such as:[2]1980 August 5, Chicago Tribune, “Column 1: Judge Crater case slips into history Police file is closed on ‘missingest’ person” by Janet Cawley, Quote Page 1, Column 1, Chicago, … Continue reading[3] 1966 September 12, Springfield Union, New York Scene: A Rash of Graffiti by Norton Mockridge, Quote Page 6, Column 8, Springfield, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)

Judge Crater—Call Your Office

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Time

References

References
↑1 1957 February, Cosmopolitan, Volume 142, Steve Allen’s Almanac by Steve Allen, (This column was part of a series published between 1956 and 1957), Start Page 12, Hearst Corp., New York. (Verified with scans from the Browne Popular Culture Library of Bowling Green State University; great thanks to the librarians at BGSU who provided a digital image of a document in the “Steve Allen Collection”)
↑2 1980 August 5, Chicago Tribune, “Column 1: Judge Crater case slips into history Police file is closed on ‘missingest’ person” by Janet Cawley, Quote Page 1, Column 1, Chicago, Illinois. (ProQuest)
↑3 1966 September 12, Springfield Union, New York Scene: A Rash of Graffiti by Norton Mockridge, Quote Page 6, Column 8, Springfield, Massachusetts. (GenealogyBank)

Showing Up Is 80 Percent of Life

Woody Allen? Marshall Brickman? Donkey Hotey? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Dear Quote Investigator: I am trying to track down the origin of a quotation about success in life that has divaricated into many versions. Here are some examples:

Ninety percent of success is just showing up.
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Seventy-five percent of life is showing up.
In life, 50% of it is showing up.

Some of these expressions are credited to the famous comedian and director Woody Allen, but I have not located a solid citation. Could you explore the provenance of these sayings?

Quote Investigator: The earliest close match known to QI was printed in the New York Times in August 1977. Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman co-wrote the Oscar winning screenplay for the 1977 movie Annie Hall, and they were interviewed together by the journalist Susan Braudy. The following words were spoken by Marshall Brickman, but he attributed the adage to Woody Allen. Emphasis added to excerpts by QI:[1] 1977 August 21, New York Times, Section 2: Arts and Leisure, He’s Woody Allen’s Not-So-Silent Partner by Susan Braudy, Page 11 (ProQuest Page 83), New York. (ProQuest)

I have learned one thing. As Woody says, ‘Showing up is 80 percent of life.’ Sometimes it’s easier to hide home in bed. I’ve done both.

This citation is given in two key reference works: The Yale Book of Quotations [2] 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section Woody Allen, Page 17, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) and The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs [3] 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro Page 140, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper) both from Yale University Press.

In 1989 Woody Allen was asked about this saying by William Safire, the language columnist for the New York Times, and Allen replied with a letter in which he asserted: “I did say that 80 percent of success is showing up.” Hence, Allen accepted credit for a common variant of the expression using the word “success” instead of “life”. The details of this interesting cite are given further below.

Here are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Continue reading Showing Up Is 80 Percent of Life

References

References
↑1 1977 August 21, New York Times, Section 2: Arts and Leisure, He’s Woody Allen’s Not-So-Silent Partner by Susan Braudy, Page 11 (ProQuest Page 83), New York. (ProQuest)
↑2 2006, The Yale Book of Quotations by Fred R. Shapiro, Section Woody Allen, Page 17, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper)
↑3 2012, The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, Compiled by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder, and Fred R. Shapiro Page 140, Yale University Press, New Haven. (Verified on paper)