If You Want Anything Said Ask a Man, Want Anything Done Ask a Woman

Margaret Thatcher? Fictional? Dear Quote Investigator: I have been trying to learn about a sentence supposedly said by Margaret Thatcher who was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the 1980s. The version I was told is: If you want a speech made you should ask a man, but if you want something done …

“How Old Cary Grant?” “Old Cary Grant Fine, How You?”

Cary Grant? Gar Wood? Mark Clark? Tom Ferris? Dear Quote Investigator: I love the movies from the golden age of Hollywood. I think the stars were more glamorous in the past, and the stories about the stars were wittier. The quotation I would like you to investigate was reportedly written by Cary Grant for a …

She Speaks Eighteen Languages, and Can’t Say “No” in Any of Them

Who Said the Quote? Dorothy Parker? Richard Henry Little? Alexander Woollcott? Who was the Polyglot? Winifred Stackville Stoner? Merle Oberon? Dear Quote Investigator: My question differs from most. Here is a quotation of admiration with a stinger that I would like you to investigate: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say “No” in any …

Dying is Easy. Comedy is Hard

Peter O’Toole? Edmund Kean? Edmund Gwenn? Donald Crisp? George Seaton? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: One of my friends is an aspiring comedian, and he enjoys telling an anecdote about a gifted character actor who delivered a famously incisive line about playing comic roles while lying on his deathbed. A visitor approached the actor who was …

I Take the Punch Bowl Away Just When the Party is Getting Good

Arthur F. Burns? William McChesney Martin? G. William Miller? Paul A. Volcker? Dear Quote Investigator: The U.S. economy has experienced two large bubbles in recent years in technology stocks and in real estate. These gyrations in the market reminded me of an old comment from a previous director of the Federal Reserve. He said his …

I Do Not Want to Predict the Future. I Want to Prevent It

Frank Herbert? Ray Bradbury? Theodore Sturgeon? Fred Pohl? Dear Quote Investigator: I once read an interview with a science fiction writer in which he was asked about predicting the future. The interviewer was disappointed that some of the technological developments heralded in science fiction never seemed to actually happen. The response from the author was …

Quote Origin: Be Nice to People on Your Way Up. You’ll Meet Them On Your Way Down

Jimmy Durante? Wilson Mizner? Walter Winchell? George Raft? Question for Quote Investigator: Sometimes clichés become clichés because they express important truths. I think this is an example: Be nice to those you meet on the way up because you will meet them on the way down Can you determine who first came up with this …

Never Miss a Chance to Have Sex or Appear On Television

Gore Vidal? Lewis H. Lapham? Fictional? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: When I watch reality television shows today I can only conclude that some people will do anything to be on television. This fits the advice the famous author Gore Vidal apparently gave: Never turn down an opportunity to have sex or to be on television …

When I Was a Boy of Fourteen, My Father Was So Ignorant

Mark Twain? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: I am interested in a fantastic quotation that I always thought was from the pen of Mark Twain: When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was …