Quote Investigator® – Page 27

Repartee Origin: You Are the Second Most Beautiful Woman in the United Kingdom

Lilian Braithwaite? James Agate? Walter Winchell? Apocryphal?

**Portrait of Lillian Braithwaite circa 1902**

Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent drama critic in London once told a top actress that she was the second most beautiful woman in the United Kingdom. The critic expected her to ask for the identity of the most beautiful woman, but she wittily replied that she would treasure the compliment because it was coming from the second best drama critic. Would you please explore the provenance of this repartee?

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in “The Daily Telegraph” of London in March 1932. The two figures in the anecdote were English theatre critic James Agate and English actress Lilian Braithwaite:¹

“A little while ago,” said Mr. Agate, “I was fortunate enough to find myself alone with Miss Braithwaite. I hastened to avail myself of this rare opportunity.

“‘My dear lady,’ I said, ‘May I tell you something I have wanted to tell you for years: that you are the second most beautiful woman in the United Kingdom?’

“I naturally expected that Miss Braithwaite would ask who, in my opinion, was the woman who came before her. And I had prepared myself with a name to which it would have been interesting to see Miss Braithwaite’s reaction.

“But she asked no such question. She merely looked at me with her charming smile and said, ‘Thank you. I shall always cherish that, as coming from the second-best dramatic critic.’”

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Anecdote Origin: Your Question Is Quite Simple. Hence, I’m Going To Ask My Chauffeur To Respond

Albert Einstein? Wernher von Braun? Max Planck? Charlie Munger? Ezekiel Landau? Jacob ben Wolf Kranz? Apocryphal?

**Stylized time-lapse image taken through a windshield from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A humorous anecdote describes a brilliant person who has been invited by many organizations to deliver a lecture about their esoteric work. After successfully delivering lectures in multiple venues the person becomes bored and open to change. High jinks ensue when the lecturer and their chauffeur secretly swap places.

The chauffeur delivers a flawless speech while the brilliant person sits near the front disguised as the chauffeur. A tense moment occurs when an audience member asks a difficult question. The quick-witted chauffeur replies:

Your question is interesting, but the answer is remarkably simple. Hence, I’m going to ask my chauffeur to respond.

The role of the brilliant person in this tale has been assigned to several different people including theoretical physicist Albert Einstein, aerospace engineer Wernher von Braun, quantum physicist Max Planck, and Rabbi Ezekiel Landau. Would you please explore the provenance of this story.

Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1926 within “Laughs from Jewish Lore” compiled by Jacob Richman. The brilliant person in this version of the story was a prominent rabbi. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It was the custom of Rabbi Ezekiel Landau, of Prague, to make semi-annual trips to the communities suburban to his city, and render his services in settling their religious and economic problems.

His driver was a jolly man and he often took the liberty to jest with his famous master. “Rabbi,” he once facetiously remarked, “I tell you that my task requires more skill than yours. I could settle the petty squabbles of the tiny hamlets just as well as you, but you couldn’t do my work.”

The ecclesiastical passenger accepted the challenge, and the two exchanged their clothes and their positions on the wagon, continuing their journey incognito.

Arriving in the first village the “rabbi” was welcomed by a committee of prominent men, who escorted him to the house of one of their leading citizens. After having dined with the guest, the representative men of the community brought before the consideration of the visiting “rabbi” some difficult problem that had been baffling the best minds of the community for a long time.

The pseudo-rabbi heard the query with great solemnity, and shrugged his shoulders, evidently wondering at the ignorance of his interlocutors.

“You have asked me a very, very silly question,” he finally remarked. “Even my driver can answer that. Here he is, ask him.”

QI hypothesizes that this family of anecdotes was derived from Jewish folklore. The stories were meant to be humorous and not veridical. The creator of the original tale remains unknown.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Motto Origin: Good, Fast, Cheap — Pick Any Two

James M. Wallace? Erwin Frand? Gary Davis? Burt Reynolds? Anonymous?

Picture representing speed from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Buyers always want products to be constructed with the highest quality, manufactured at the fastest speed, and priced at the lowest cost. Frustrated sellers assert that only two of those objectives can be achieved at the same time. The buyer must select only two out of three. This notion has been expressed compactly in the following ways:

(1) Quality. Speed. Price. Choose any two.
(2) Good, Fast, Cheap. Pick any two.

Would you please explore the provenance of this saying?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This saying is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. The earliest match known to QI appeared in the 1980 book “The Official Explanations” compiled by Paul Dickson. Credit was given to James M. Wallace of Minneapolis who stated that the adage applied particularly to advertising and print shops. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Wallace’s Two-out-of-Three Theory.
SPEED
QUALITY
PRICE
Pick any Two.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Slogan Origin: Take Nothing But Pictures. Leave Nothing But Footprints

Museum Sign? Park Sign? Boy Scout Adage? Sierra Club Motto? Spelunkers Adage? Conrad L. Wirth? Anonymous?

Cliffs at Bandelier National Monument from Unsplash

Question for Quote Investigator: Humans are now visiting remote and pristine locations around the globe. People are drawn to beautiful, historic, memorable, scenic, and enigmatic locales. A crucial admonition is impressed on visitors to these significant places. Here are two instances from this family of sayings:

(1) Take only memories; leave only footprints.
(2) Take nothing but photographs. Leave nothing but footprints.

Would you please explore the provenance of this guidance?

Reply from Quote Investigator: This advice is difficult to trace because it can be expressed in many ways. The earliest close match located by QI appeared in July 1954 within an article published in a Cameron, Missouri newspaper about Bandelier National Monument in New Mexico. This U.S. park features cliff dwellings and petroglyphs. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

The museum contains numerous examples of Indian culture and art. A sign says: “Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints.”

Thus, the earliest evidence suggests that the U.S. National Park service popularized this guidance by 1954, but the originator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: It Was Only a Sunny Smile, and Little It Cost in the Giving

F. Scott Fitzgerald? Aubrey Grey? Harriett G. Hancock? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

**Balloons with smiles and frowns from Unsplash**

Question for Quote Investigator: A smile can raise the spirits of oneself and others. This thought has been conveyed as follows:

It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light, it scattered the night and made the day worth living.

These words have been attributed to the prominent U.S. novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald, but I have never seen a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore the provenance of this statement?

Reply from Quote Investigator: QI has found no substantive support for the ascription to F. Scott Fitzgerald who was born in 1896.

The earliest strong match located by QI appeared in March 1893 within a poem titled “Only” published in “The Western Teacher: A Monthly Journal for Progressive Teachers” of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Below are the first two verses of the four verse poem. The author was not identified. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

It was only a sunny smile,
And little it cost in the giving;
But it scattered the night
Like morning light,
And made the day worth living.
Through life’s dull warp a woof it wove
In shining colors of hope and love;
And the angels smiled as they watched above.
Yet little it cost in the giving.

It was only a kindly word,
A word that was lightly spoken;
Yet not in vain,
For it stilled the pain
Of a heart that was nearly broken.
It strengthened a faith beset by fears
And groping blindly through mists of tears
For light to brighten the coming years,
Although it was lightly spoken.

The poem above was widely reprinted in subsequent years, but QI has been unable to determine the author. Thus, the creator of the quotation under examination remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: I Never Was Ruined But Twice, Once When I Gained a Lawsuit, and Once When I Lost It

Voltaire? Mark Twain? Richard Brinsley Sheridan? John Bright? Apocryphal? Anonymous?

Scales of justice illustration from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Legal conflicts are extraordinarily expensive and time-consuming for all the participants. Even the winner of a lawsuit can suffer financially. The ill-fated contender in two legal entanglements once said something like the following. Here are two versions. The word “gained” is a synonym for “won” in the second statement:

(1) I have been ruined only twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.
(2) I never was ruined but twice; once when I gained a lawsuit, and once when I lost it.

This quip has been attributed to the famous wits Voltaire (pen name of François-Marie Arouet) and Mark Twain (pen name of Samuel Clemens); however, I have never seen a solid citation, and I have become skeptical. Would you please explore this topic?

Reply from Quote Investigator: There is no substantive support for the ascription to Mark Twain who died in 1910. The attribution to Twain appeared by 2014.

Researchers have been unable to find this saying in the writings or speeches of Voltaire. The valuable 2021 reference “The Quotable Voltaire” edited by Garry Apgar and Edward M. Langille contains a germane entry which states the following:¹

Attributed to Voltaire, almost certainly apocryphal

Voltaire died in 1778, and the earliest strong match located by QI appeared many years later in June 1826 within “The Sun” newspaper of London. A column titled “Fashionable – Intelligence” printed a miscellaneous collection of items including the following. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:²

BEAUTIES OF LAW.—“I never,” said Voltaire, “was ruined but twice, once, when I gained a law suit; and once, when I lost it.”

QI believes that the current evidence supporting the attribution to Voltaire is inadequate, and the originator of the quip remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Life Is Not Complex. We Are Complex. Life Is Simple, and the Simple Thing Is the Right Thing

Oscar Wilde? Robert Ross? Rudolf Flesch? Apocryphal?

Complex presentation of the simple word “Love” from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Modern life seems to be extremely complicated, but the underlying principles of a worthwhile life are quite simple. I am reminded of the following quotation:

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.

These words have been attributed to the famous Irish wit Oscar Wilde, but I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please help me to trace this remark?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In April 1897 Oscar Wilde penned a note to his friend Robert Ross. Wilde was unhappy because Ross had ignored the guidance specified in a previous note. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

You should have seen that my wishes were carried out. You were very wrong not to do so. I was quite helpless in prison and I relied on you. You thought that the thing to do was the clever thing, the smart thing, the ingenious thing. You were under a mistake.

Life is not complex. We are complex. Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing. Look at the result! Are you pleased with it?

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: If Our American Way of Life Fails the Child, It Fails Us All

Pearl S. Buck? Apocryphal?

Parent and baby from Rebecca Scholz at Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: The following statement has been attributed to the prominent U.S. writer Pearl S. Buck:

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.

Would you please help me to find the context of this remark together with a citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Pearl S. Buck won a Pulitzer Prize in 1932 for her best-selling book “The Good Earth”. Subsequently, she was awarded the 1938 Nobel Prize in Literature. In 1965 she published “Children for Adoption” which contained the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts:¹

The increase in numbers of homeless, unwanted children—a result of the sexual freedom between modern men and women—is attended by a decrease in the number of adopting parents. The predicament must be faced squarely by the professionals. New solutions must be found. If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: We Live in a Science Fiction Age. Yesterday’s Fantasy Is Already Today’s Fact

Isaac Asimov? Leonard Nimoy? Allen Ginsberg? Jane Kramer? Donald A. Wollheim? Chester Whitehorn? Ric Ocasek? Greg Hawkes? Apocryphal?

Geometric shape embedded in space from Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Nowadays technological changes are occurring with vertiginous rapidity, and I am reminded of statements like these:

We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact.

There’s nothing to be learned from history any more. We’re in science fiction now.

Surprisingly, these pronouncements were made several decades ago. Would you please help me to find citations?

Reply from Quote Investigator: Here is an overview with dates and attributions which presents a sampling of similar declarations:

1954: We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact. — Chester Whitehorn, Editor of short-lived “Science Fiction Digest”

1957 Jan: The bizarre fact that we do live in a science-fiction world. — Canadian Journalist James Cameron (not the moviemaker)

1968 Jun: We do live in a science fiction age. — John M. Connor, Librarian

1969: There’s nothing to be learned from history any more. We’re in science fiction now. — Allen Ginsberg, Poet

1971: I have had the disturbing conviction that we are all living in a science-fiction story. — Donald A. Wollheim, Science fiction editor

1974 May: We live in a science fiction age. — Leonard Nimoy, actor who played Spock in “Star Trek”

1975: We live, indisputably, in a science fiction world. — James E. Gunn, Science fiction scholar and author (not the moviemaker)

1978: Everything is science fiction. And I ought to know. — Ric Ocasek and Greg Hawkes, members of the rock group The Cars

1982: I think we’re living in a science fiction world right now. — Isaac Asimov, Science fiction author

2023 May: On what date do you expect @GreatDismal to go from being science fiction writer to historian? — UK director Duncan Jones

In 1954 optimistic editor Chester Whitehorn founded a periodical called “Science Fiction Digest”. Sadly, only two issues were published before the effort failed.¹ Whitehorn was convinced that the world had entered a new era of futuristic possibilities. He wrote the following in an editor’s note:²

We live in a science-fiction age. Yesterday’s fantasy is already today’s fact; and today’s imaginings, well, perhaps only 24 hours from now, they too will have come to pass.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

Quote Origin: Look for Three Qualities: Integrity, Intelligence and Energy. And If They Don’t Have the First, the Other Two Will Kill You

Warren Buffett? Anonymous? Apocryphal?

Puzzle piece. Image from AbsolutVision Pixabay

Question for Quote Investigator: Famous U.S. investor Warren Buffett once described the three traits he looked for in new employees. A worker should have integrity, intelligence, and energy. Apparently, Buffett believed that the first trait was crucial because its absence would cause the other two traits to kill a business. Would you please help me to find the phrasing used by Buffett together with a precise citation?

Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1993 Warren Buffett spoke to graduate students at the Business School of Columbia University in New York City. Excerpts from his remarks were published in the “Omaha World-Herald” of Nebraska in January 1994. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:¹

Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence and energy. And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.

You think about it, it’s true. If you hire somebody without the first, you really want them dumb and lazy. (Laughter)

Pick the kind of person to work for you that you want to marry your son or daughter. You won’t go wrong.

Interestingly, Warren Buffett popularized this saying; however, he disclaimed credit. Thus, the originator remains anonymous.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.