Quote Origin: How Do You Make a Small Fortune in a Risky Domain? Start With a Large Fortune

Elon Musk? Ruly Carpenter? Stanley Kroll? Leo Fuld? Alan Young? Phil Silvers? Joey Adams? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: A family of jokes emphasizes the unforgiving economics of risky or expensive activities. Here are four examples: (1) How do you make a small fortune in social media? Start out with a large one. (2) The …

Quote Origin: Never Let a Fool Kiss You, and Never Let a Kiss Fool You

Joey Adams? Yip Harburg? Evan Esar? Judge Magazine? Anonymous? Question for Quote Investigator: A loving kiss is wonderful, but it should be with the right person. A deceptive kiss is perilous. A family of quips about the dangers of osculation uses a rhetorical device called antimetabole. Words in the first half of a statement are …

The Fellow Who Thinks He Knows It All Is Especially Annoying To Those of Us Who Do

Isaac Asimov? Harold Coffin? Unitarian Church Bulletin? Robert Reisner? Joey Adams? Milton Berle? Robert K. Mueller? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Know-it-alls are eager to assert their expertise on all subjects. I love the following comical reaction to grandiose egotism: Those who believe they know everything are a great nuisance to those of us who do. …

If You Are Born Poor It’s Not Your Mistake, But If You Die Poor It’s Your Mistake

Bill Gates? Muriel Strode? Ella Wheeler Wilcox? Joey Adams? Apocryphal? Anonymous? Dear Quote Investigator: Bill Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft, is one of the richest people in the world. A provocative remark about poverty has been ascribed to him: If you are born poor it’s not your mistake but if you die poor it’s your …

The Crowd Came to the Funeral, Not To Mourn, But To Make Sure the Person Was Dead

Who Said It: Samuel Goldwyn? Mr. Jones? S. S. Van Dine? Joey Adams? Whispering Russian? Whose Funeral: Louis B. Mayer? Fogarty’s Brother? Joseph Stalin? W. Kerr Scott? Dear Quote Investigator: According to Hollywood legend when the tyrannical chief of a powerful movie studio died many were surprised to see that his funeral was well attended. …

I Would Challenge You To a Battle of Wits, But I See You Are Unarmed

William Shakespeare? Mark Twain? Oscar Wilde? Winston Churchill? Abby Buchanan Longstreet? Frank Fay? Pierre de Roman? Joey Adams? Apocryphal? Dear Quote Investigator: There exists a collection of similar jokes based on word play and the terms: battle, armed, wit, and half-wit. Here are some examples: 1) I would challenge you to a battle of wits, …